Subject: Welcome to Creation, here's your shovel.
Author:
Posted on: 2015-01-21 00:44:00 UTC
Enjoy digging shiny Sue brains with this +1 anarchic shovel. It deals an additional 2d6 damage to lawful and noncanonical creatures!
Hello everyone! I've already introduced myself as Kranlor but never posted anything since I didn't have Internet on my phone and I only used my computer for games. However, now that I finally do have Internet on my phone, I will be much more active.
Have a metafictional kitten. It's a Siamese, so don't worry about the invisibility. Just follow the meows.
Or you could just put a collar on it. Your sister seems to have an unholy fountain of urple bows...
I once had the misfortune to see the fountain. It's so hideous. It just keeps spraying out urple ribbons 24/7. Trust me, you don't want to see it. I'm not sure about the unholy thing. I may need to look into that...
...actually *not* be unholy? Isn't urple itself an affront to every god in existence and a lot that aren't?
Who, me? Nope, no idea what you're talking about. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go hunting for more newbie gift animals and thread.
So, you're Iximaz's little brother? Nice to meet you. I'm World-Jumper, the guy who has been slacking off working on that crossover mission with her. Nice too meet you!
I am afraid I did not see your introductory post before, so I don't know your fandoms. However, I am assuming you like MLP too, because I like assuming things. So, for your gift, I shall give you a small crystal stature of your favorite character from MLP:FiM. There may be an enchantment on it based on their character. Just, try and keep it safe. Shadow kings may rise from the dead and try to take your CRYSTAAAAL!
I love my new crystal Pinkie Pie. This is the most fantastic thing ever! Everyone knows that Pinkie Pie is best pony.
That's not how you spell Twilight Sparkle
Ah, Pinkie Pie! An interesting statue this one. As you hold it, you seem to feel laughter bubbling up inside you. You know, now that you think about it, the world is pretty funny, isn't it? So many weird things that people do all the time for no reason! Why, you bet people don't even realize half of the things going on in the world! If they did, everybody would go through life with a laugh in their chest, and a smile on their lips! As another side effect, you seem to be somewhat more observant. You just notice the strangest things around you now! Nothing paranormal, mind you, perfectly normal things. Just, unnoticed. How funny, right?
Pinkie Pie gives you laughter and awareness. On the bottom is carved: "It was under E!"
No matter how hard I try, I just can't train him how to spell 'Rainbow Dash' properly. :(
Here, let me show you both: T-W-I-L-I-G-H-T S-P-A-R-K-L-E. There, now you no longer have to misspell best pony's name.
R-A-I-N-B-O-W D-A-S-H.
There! I did it!
:P
How can you both know so much about writing but you still don't know how to spell Pinkie Pie. Let me show you.
P-I-N-K-I-E-P-I-E.
It's not too difficult. Try it again.
It's not like this is difficult, for Behemoth's sake.
There are, what, how many letters in Luna? Four? I count four. And yet putting that amount in the correct order totally escapes you.
=oD
I try not to get my hands dirty with this sort of thing. I know it's difficult. But you guys could at least try to get it right once in a while. After all, what's the point of life if you can't properly appreciate the finer things?
^_~
~Neshomeh
None of you seem to get it right.
Here i´ll show you F-L-U-T-T-E-R-S-H-Y.
Just what I needed! I finally have a bird for my cage. Now my life is complete.
A fellow Newbie! Please have some of my sharp and pointy sporks. :)
Please accept this fine bottle of vintage Bleeport! It's taken me ages to get right, and I'm fairly certain I've ironed out all the kinks in the manufacturing process, so if you'd just care to sign this waiver... =]
Possible side effects include: dizziness, headaches, difficulty walking, long term memory loss, nausea, vomiting, and death. Does not protect against STDs or flying pig attacks. Batteries not included.
I'll save it for when I really need it. Thanks though. *signs waiver*
Nobody ever signs those! I promise that if your organs are in a position to be harvested intact, they'll go to the deserving once we've made sure they don't glow in the dark. That is, after all, what lets them in. =]
if my baby brother gets hurt because of your shenanigans, I'll Sue you.
No, really.
I'll do it.
*readies glitter injector*
:P
No, please, try the Bleeport. It's delicious and incredibly effective!
I designed it to be like that, because port is meant to be sipped, not chugged like a frat boy on his fourth whole can of Bud Light (they call that guy the Heavyweight) as with Bleepka. It is for the cultured, sophisticated agent who has seen far too much for a Bleepka blitz to be as effective on the common-or-garden synapse as desired. It's a public service, and besides, I'm fairly sure this batch is safe. I mean, it's been almost a week now and the barrels haven't started screaming even a little bit, which is progress. =]
I'm preparing this for show when I finally get around to doing 120 Days Of Blueblood. The Notary is a refined and classy individual, or at least thinks she is, and is therefore in dire need of more concentrated Bleeproduce. =]
I'm still saving it until I really need it. I just signed the waiver so I wouldn't have to later if I needed to use it. Also, have you considered including bendy straws? Everything is better with bendy straws.
*grumble* You agents and your fancy Bleep products...
On that note, I wonder if Cactus Juice from A:TLA would be allowed in HQ?
If you can make a synthetic replacement, though -
Wait.
Any imbecile can grow a cactus on a windowsill. If you could somehow contrive a cactus from A:tLA to secrete Bleeprin, since I'm not certain whether or not the cactus juice is alcoholic or simply something akin to mescaline (I'd favour the latter, personally, but that's just speculation), you could get an easily accessible supply of potent Bleeproduce in the agents' RC at no cost to the PPC save in terms of R&D! It's BRILLIANT!
Dude, we have too many acronyms here. =]
Diluted Cactus Juice for those agents who can't use Bleep products.
But in real life, some cacti have toxins in their juices that cause people to hallucinate. It's to deter critters from nomming them in the desert. Yay for Aluminumn Christmas Trees!
Also: what windows are there in HQ?
Also, yeah, er, that massively predates A:tLA. That's where mescaline comes from (a.k.a. peyote after the cactus in question, a.k.a. the stuff Hunter S. Thompson puts on his breakfast cereal). It's a nice idea, but I'm not totally certain having your staff tanked up on powerful hallucinogens will help them; that said, it could work for agents allergic to Bleeprin and Bleeprin by-products... I just don't quite know how well, and whether they'd be any good as agents until the walls stopped speaking in purple.
Still, I'm convinced that a biological supply of Bleeprin has merit, if nothing else to give patients in FicPsych some occupational therapy. =]
Have a legal pad and some gel pens! You do like gel pens, don't you?
Are they made with real Sue blood?
Since I wasn't here the first time you made an introduction post, well, welcome aBoard!
Here, take a...
*searches through Bag*
Wilver bird cage! Wait... I had one? Too bad I didn't notice it when Tawaki gave me a plover...
If only I had a bird... oh well. I can always put it on a long stick and wave it around to torment people.
Here, have a Power Ring of the Urple Lantern Corps, it doesn't have a charge and I lost the battery a long time ago, but is a nice piece of memorabilia. :D
It's probably for the better that there's no battery. With no power comes no responsibility.
Here, have some lemon cookies.
Lemon cookies are some of my favorites. I just hope you didn't get them from the cafeteria.
Hello, As your welcome gift I will gift you a blello sword
Swords are my second favorite instrument of killing. My favorite has to be the door. Door kills are the best.
Have one of my own shed feathers! Watch it, it's sharp!
I already gave you a funny-sounding animal, so just take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti! *noogies*
Enjoy digging shiny Sue brains with this +1 anarchic shovel. It deals an additional 2d6 damage to lawful and noncanonical creatures!
I'm really digging this gift. Now I can bury all of my fears about Sues attacking me.
THIS shovel has an mithral blade and a darkwood haft. It has the same enchantments, it's just significantly lighter now.
After seeing what Rina and Randa got themselves into, an ordinary magical Sue-moidering shovel doesn't seem sufficient.
Welcome back and stuff! Since you're only half-new, I will dispense with the usual "read this or that" and just give you another cup of tea full of delicious goodness.