I left under a bit of a cloud. This is because I was being an angry, strident little blob of dog vomit to longstanding members of the Board for no reason other than my own arrogance. It became clear that I needed to change, and it rapidly became clearer that I couldn't change without breaking links with my old username.

Besides, I've grown rather attached to Scapegrace as a moniker. Over on CivFanatics, I'm an upstanding member of the community and part of one of the bigger modding groups for Civ V. It's making me think more and deeper about both the world and my own small place in it, and it's... it's been good for me. I've got something I can be legitimately proud of that's all my own work, which I only had in sporadic bursts before - and even then they were decidedly few and far between. I don't make a secret of the fact that I have a slew of mental health issues, but chief among them is anhedonia. I don't feel pleasure in pleasurable activities (minds out of the gutter, you lot), and when I do feel a bit, it's fuzzy and out of focus and the colours of it seem washed out, if that makes any sense. As Scapegrace, over there, I've had something that makes me happy and makes other people happy.

It's all I've really ever wanted to do, tbh.

... Is this what it sounds like it is? If so... Wow. Just... Wow. '-'