But I have to post this. I found a Suefic on FFNet. The Suethor has read the Silmarillion, knows that a male elf is called an "ellon," and knows details of the War of Wrath.

So why, oh, why, did she write a Suefic where a modern-Earth human dies and reincarnates as Ancalagon's adopted daughter, and eventually romances Smaug?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10508024/1/Draconic-Supremacy

Uurrrgghhh. This is all kinds of wrong... oh, and the Sue's dragon form has lavender scales. Yeah. *actually shudders IRL*

Always Alone > by Siampie reviews
Known as Eilif, a woman has walked the lands of Middle Earth aimlessly for a long time. Until one night at Bree she came across four hobbits and her life changed. Follow her, as she finally has a goal and something to fight for. She'll find dear friend and love on her quest to destroy the ring and she'll finally find a place where she belongs. 10th Walker Aragorn/OC.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,222 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 1h ago - Published: Nov 5 - [Aragorn, OC]

My comment: She's Thorin's daughter!

Conker's Other Bad Fur Day by Dream the Fox
Description from Author: Set after Conker's Bad Fur Day. Conker's still upset about Berri's death and wants her back. When Gregg tells him how to do it, Conker, along with some friends, head off on a new adventure to bring Berri back. My first Conker story. R&R and NO FLAMES.
Anonymouse's Notes: This fic was named after, and intends to replace, Conker's Other Bad Fur Day, Rare's planned sequel to Conker's Bad Fur Day that was fully scripted but never made it off paper because "Microsoft never asked for it". What appalls me is that the author knows enough to name it after that game but never bothered to look up the released details- like King Conker being dethroned and almost executed due to blowing his kingdom's treasury on alcohol, and Berri coming back as a Terminator-like antagonist. Also, it's fishy when the author gives away the whole plot in one line of dialog from one character, and even more fishy when they never even use his proper name- the Grim Reaper's name is Gregg in this game, people. Gregg. Not "the reaper." And he's not in charge of the afterlife, just the proper "harvesting" of the dead, like all Grim Reapers- so he wouldn't have time to get annoyed by Berri.

Revolt by TheOgeeBoogieMan
Description from Author: Jenkins E. Weaselov, the son of the professor, has mustered up a second reich [sic]this time much more serious than the last. I'm also going into depth to explain certain aspects of the game.
Anonymouse's Notes: This fic is apparently set after the events of Conker's Bad Fur Day/Conker: Live and Reloaded, which seems to be a popular topic. First off, spatial distortion noted right in the first chapter's author's notes, but the fic after that was surprisingly readable, until I realised that Conker himself is very, VERY out of character, being far too qualified for a government job than he ought to be- and ASKING HIS GUARDS TO ASK SOMETHING FROM DON WEASO. Er, sorry, it's "Weaselo." Just for the record, and sorry if I spoil a ten-year-old game for you, but Don Weaso murders Berri in cold blood right in front of Conker in the finale, and even in this fic he's upset about her death, so not holding Don at least partially responsible for her not being there- and thus NOT HATING HIS GUTS- is infuriatingly out of character in and of itself.

Friend in Need Professor's POV by Julie Riley aka Julayla Beryl [sic]
Description from Author: This is the Professor's version on how he met up with Nack. It might have words you might not understand since he's german. Hope you like it though. (Finished)
Anonymouse's Notes: Nack? Who is- Ohhh. Oh, right, Nack, that one Sonic character that I totally forgot was a Conker character as well. Silly me. Evident from the Author's Notes is that he stole "Weaselov" (an apparently non-canon last name) from Mr. TheOgeeBoogieMan up there, and evident from the first full paragraph is that although this is not marked as a crossover, Julie here decided that the Conkerverse is on Mobius- in other words, the entire Conkerverse is inside the Sonicverse. Oh, and it's hard to read because the narrator is the Professor with his constant German accent. There are other POV's of this fic, but this one is the one I got first.

Conkers Scale encounter by Ra88
Description from Author: Sigh...Conker never has peace, because now, a dragon dude called Tenka makes his entrance, creates a cheap T-Virus rip-off, and then tries to conquer Conk. O, yeah, Berri is back but she wants to kil him. An ordinary day in the life of a squirrel.
Anonymouse's Notes: Misspelled words and abuse- as opposed to neglect- of various forms of punctuation. Also, paragraphs huge enough to be f[EXPLETIVE REDACTED] bricks of text. I hope that "Berri is back but she wants to kil [sic] him" is evidence that Terminator Berri is in this fic, but I didn't get that far.

Or can this be the current "general badfic reporting" thread? Because I've found a horrible Monster Musume/Prototype crossover.

At least they're all short, right?

"I do know that I need to stop thinking foolish things and falling over."

Right you are, Frodo. Right. You. Are.

It's not that the ridiculous voice, poor verb choices, and rampant malapropisms are making me giggle uncontrollably, it's just that they are. The potential for delicious snark is endless!

What. Fack the actual whut. Overload. What.