Subject: Preemptive claiming of Little Miss Mary.
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Posted on: 2014-12-11 02:09:00 UTC
Yes, I'm crazy. And I say preemptive because I can't edit the Wiki yet to move it to 'Claimed'.
As a side question, I know My Immortal is supposed to be claimed according to its Wiki page, and it's been claimed for a long time, but why isn't it on the 'Claimed Badfic' page? I got my hopes up for a second there...
...and it will always remain claimed, if you know what I mean.
Besides, what mission could do justice to the Prime Badfic itself?
Tackling it on one super mission?
Considering how insanely overpowered she is, it would take a helluva lot of luck for just one team to take her down. Then again, there's pretty much nothing canon about My Immortal, which would require a lot of cleanup to fix just the basics.
Speaking of Rose Potter, does anyone know where I can find a copy of the original text?
... is she immune to neurotoxins? How about sedatives in her food? Or draining the oxygen out of her room while she sleeps?
The appropriate reaction to overwhelming force is rarely overwhelming force.
hS
Since Rose is always talking about how clothes weaken here 'druidess magic', he suggested finding some way to throw, say, a hat or whatnot on her.
I say surround her precious 'magical glen' with canon sources so she can't 'Teleport' out, charge her, then have the DOGA go all pyro on the 3/4ths of the forest Rose claims to be warded by druids.
Neurotoxins has its appeals... do you think she'd magically find a way to dispel them from her system? Still, that's certainly something to consider.
-Iximaz, who is totally not plotting for any reason. Nope.
Unless she has a danger sense that will warn her about tasteless sleeping pills, it should be possible to knock her out by mixing them with her food. Then pull out some nerve gas - I see sarin takes less than ten minutes to kill. And the best part? You can technically charge her while she's asleep.
Or... let's see. Methods for dealing with overpowered magical beings:
-Reality Room - negate her magic.
-Distraction - set fire to the forest or whatever, then stab her in the back while she's putting out the fires.
-Betrayal - pose as her friend, and use your position to implement one of the other methods.
-Chemical/biological agents, as discussed.
-A tripwire, and a large rock to hit her head on. Can she levitate? Can she do so in half a second?
-A bottomless pit. Though not if she can fly. Or teleport, I guess.
-Bury her twenty miles underground - head down. Even if she can blast her way out, she'll probably end up going deeper into the earth instead of out. Does she need to breathe? Though I suppose teleport might be her preferred option.
-Concentrated canon bombardment. Shove her into a television shop with the HP movies showing on every screen.
-Bring an agent who doesn't need to breathe, and get her to chase them through a portal to the ocean/space/wherever. Though again, teleportation might negate this.
-LSD. Dose her with hallucinogens and kill her while she thinks you're marzipan.
-GRR RAR USE TEH BIG WEPPONS TAHTS TEH ONLI WAI oh wait.
-Logic bomb. Meticulously point out all her logic holes (while not physically attacking her) and keep going until she implodes.
-Redemption. Befriend her, sit down with her, and calmly discuss the problem with Mary-Sues. Show her examples. Make her realise the problem, then get her to realise that her own nature is identical to what she's just condemned. Prepare to utterly horrify the Marquis de Sod.
-Redemption with a twist. Do all of the above, then when she vows to never use her magic again, say, "Good," and stab her in the throat.
-Guillotine. Disguise it, put something she wants in the basket, then activate when she leans across.
&c&c&c. To my mind, the best response to an uber-Sue is to find an utterly cheesy and silly way to kill her, not to try for similar levels of power. Think 'tear laura apart by geographical expansion', not 'kill Celebrian by suicide bombing'.
hS
(Though I thought the Sue had to be awake when charging? Oh well.)
Anyway, not even half of these crossed my mind. Seriously, these are all so... brilliant. I had a half-formed plan involving using canon sources to set up a ward that her uncanon powers couldn't cross and keep her contained while charging, then either mob her with agents or blow her up. But flooding the area with nerve gas? Now that's something...
See, Rose eventually becomes an expert Legillimens, so trying to lie to her would fail if she was charged after reaching that point. And the really big things that pin her story as Legendary Badfic happen when she starts getting über-powerful.
Death by being forcibly-dressed would be pretty funny.
...do that weird 'Void' thing she keeps yammering about, slow down time, dodge the bullet, and them rip the gunman apart with dark magic.