So, an Artemis Fowl fan, eh? I've read all the books, and since you brought it up, I think that an animated adaptation would serve the series well.

As for your newbie gift...
*rummages through bag of holding*
Hmm, nothing AF related? Then what about Avatar?
*rummages some more*
Aha!
Here, have a replica Waterbending Scroll!

Hi, newbie! Welcome to the community. By the way, it just so happens that this is your lucky day. As your Newbie Gift, I'm going to give you this Completely Normal Box. Yep, just a regular cardboard box. Nothing special about it, no sir. Ignore anything it may try to whisper to you.

Yay! Artemis Fowl! Like others have said, that series doesn't get enough love. I kind of want to see it get turned into a movie or TV series, but then I'd be terrified that it would go the way of Eragon. What do you think?

Welcome a'Board! For your welcoming present, I give you one roll of gold star stickers and a genuine replica of Foaly's tinfoil hat.

Hi there! Wow, you have a lot of hobbies. Where do you find the time for them?

I share some of your fandoms, woo-hoo! (Specifically Artemis Fowl and My Little Pony. Yes, it's OK to mention that here.) Have a Cortana bobblehead, some popcorn, and a rock candy necklace!

Have some chocolate raspberry cheesecake, I brought enough for the class.

Speaking of classes, got any favored computing languages?

I take it you might be a part-time computer programmer as well? :)

Have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!

Here's a Gronkle egg and a gift certificate to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Watch out, the egg explodes when it hatches.

A fellow Artemis Fowl fan? I think that series doesn't get enough love.

What genres of original fiction do you tend towards? Sarcastic and boring are rarely compatible traits in my book.

Here, have a bottomless bag to help contain all your other presents. It has lots of pockets so you don't lose anything inside it.

Greetings and hello!

I give to you now a lined Infinite Notebook, complete with urple covers and wilver bindings.

-Aila

Welcome! Have a multicolored, seventeen-feet-long, wool-knit, scarf and a bag of jelly babies (curly wig not included).

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Hi, and welcome aBoard! Have a cackling hamster with an urple bow around its neck, and be sure to feed it lots of fanbrats!

Also, you like yo-yos? I think you and I will get along just fine. ;)

But don't let your imagination run away with you! [/obligatory Smaug quotes]

Sorry, couldn't resist. Welcome to the Board! {= ) Since you've been following us for a while, what made you finally decide to post?

Oh, also, have a welcoming bumper sticker! *sticks one to your forehead* It says "Go PPC!", based on the PPC Morale Officer's sign.

~Neshomeh

public class Greetings
{
public static void main (String [] args)
{

System.out.println("Hey there, new person! Make yourself at home.");

}

}

If this doesn't complie, feel free to dope slap me as much as you want.

It's always nice to see a new face around here! What are your fandoms, sir/ma'am?

I should probably mention that I have been reading all about the PPC for quite a while now, and wish to eventually write some missions of my own. But I guess I'll have to wait for that. Ah well.