Subject: Don't put on good music!
Author:
Posted on: 2016-06-06 06:25:00 UTC
If you do that, people might prefer listening to it over spinning in circles, running into each other, and squealing. Sir Roger de Coverley should only be danced to awful 2000s pop music and derivatives thereof. I stand firm upon this matter.
Beta'd by Cat on the Keyboard.
Permission Document
The agents get a mission
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Mp009S6Z6dhaYbSGSIWT4bSqDKq0gu0Bt36xjqzgQ
Random Prompt
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1S6XYxz3KfSBqLVmp2M4gAqt3Fdi7w5LfK7h0xwvXvo
Profiles
<a href="https://drive.google.com/open?id=1yNfiwmHhpcySb1ykHySLB61CTMsX1TsQOrfo9jqKRM">https://drive.google.com/open?id=1yNfiwmHhpcySb1ykHySLB61CTMsX1TsQOrfo9jqKRM
An example of what might make a good mission:
<a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi3-da1-rHMAhVJWD4KHTdLBOoQFggdMAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fanfiction.net%2Fs%2F243350%2F1%2FRemembering-Jada&usg=AFQjCNHwPqV9eOXRkt1C2HUTgUU1Bl2tVQ&sig2=ap9LIKaCpo0xWaXP0Topg">https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi3-da1-rHMAhVJWD4KHTdLBOoQFggdMAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fanfiction.net%2Fs%2F243350%2F1%2FRemembering-Jada&usg=AFQjCNHwPqV9eOXRkt1C2HUTgUU1Bl2tVQ&sig2=ap9LI_KaCpo0xWaXP0Topg
I got walls of text and she looks speshul.
For everyone!
Writers!
Betas!
Boarders!
Lurkers!
Toroll!
The keyboard!
Have this self-updating guidebook of all the deathtraps in the multiverse as a gift.
I'll look forward your stories.
P.S. I don't know if you thought about it, but in the case you want pictures for your agents' wiki page, I recommend Rinmaru games.
For such a rough start, the stuff you've provided has been a vast improvement, both in terms of character and SPaG. Oh, and a Ben 10 agent? Wow, that show was my jam as a teen! I look forward to seeing how this turns out!
Also, I apologize for being unable to beta your work, seeing as I was busy with my own PPC stuff most of the time. I will definitely make it up to you for your first mission, though, at least from a SPaG perspective, so if you need a beta for that once it's done, I'm your man! Or bird. Whatever. XD
Let's see...
One thing I notice is some bizarre line breaks happening, but considering I suspect that's happening to one of my own Google docs right now I'll call that negligible.
The SpaG is acceptable. There's a general sense of forward movement in each of the writing samples.
Kelly and September (...man, are we skipping August? Someone ought fix that) show a lot more thought put into their personalities in their profiles, and the samples reflect that now.
This isn't the first time Key went up to bat to beta your work if I recall correctly. So I'm going to assume there is improvement there as well.
The fic is definitely questionable at best based on the writing alone.
You've shown visible effort to not only improve your writing, but to try and interact in the community and learn.
Consider Permission Granted. I don't think anyone will have serious argument against it this time.
Just make sure to use a beta, listen when they give advice- I believe PoorCynic is going to be making up a new workshop on the matter if he hadn't already- and keep participating in the community. I have confidence that since you've already made the steps to work on your writing, you'll keep going in that direction.
I'm also in the same area as you are currently. I do not work this weekend. If you feel comfortable with the idea, hit me up via email for my phone number.
Something like this calls for a celebration, even if it is a small one.
Congrats, PPC writer.
-July with the PG hat on
=]
Seriously, though, well done. Improving like this is why people shouldn't get discouraged from being denied Permission the first X amount of times. Everything can be fixed, and when it is, everyone's a winner. Keep up the good work! =]
Actually, this was my first time betaing for Brammadin (or anyone met on the Internet). I feel proud: someone got Permission under my watch! Okay, they (she? The things I forget to ask people) were almost there without me.
Celebration time. Let's dance! *puts on a polka cover of a Lady Gaga song and starts herding people into two lines*
Like Waltz no. 2 by Dmitri Shostakovitch, or Johannes Brahms' Hungarian Dances.
If you do that, people might prefer listening to it over spinning in circles, running into each other, and squealing. Sir Roger de Coverley should only be danced to awful 2000s pop music and derivatives thereof. I stand firm upon this matter.
Have a cake with Kelly and September on it.
~Mattman, quoting this guy from Kamen Rider OOO
Congrats, Bram! Keep at it!
The matresses 'random prompt' was given by me in response to Bramandin's last Permission thread; it's not something they made up.
hS
