Subject: What we did:
Author:
Posted on: 2016-05-30 01:54:00 UTC
Run around with Vibroweapons, get lightsaber-resistant materials, and beat up Jedi. I was training in the use of a force pike.
Subject: What we did:
Author:
Posted on: 2016-05-30 01:54:00 UTC
Run around with Vibroweapons, get lightsaber-resistant materials, and beat up Jedi. I was training in the use of a force pike.
It seems like, judging from the responses a few threads down, I'm not the only one with some terribly glittery skeletons in the closet. I'll go ahead and share mine.
My most recent, (and the only published Sue of mine) I created when I was fourteen, was a self-insert (...actually, all of these Sues were...) who was a distant relation of Professor Trelawney's and could see the future, but she was a "special" seer who remembered her prophecies and they were guaranteed to come true no matter what. She also ended up becoming the fifth Marauder and got embroiled in a love triangle between Sirius and Remus, who actually got into a fistfight over her... yeah. She was also ridiculously good at dueling, though at least I balanced that out with her being less-than-stellar in Charms and just average at everything else... I think. At least I did recognize the fact that the Marauders were bullies and wrote her appropriately like that, though I still cringe at the fact she and Lily ended up becoming friends in first year despite her main circle of friends. She was still full of glitter and I gleefully killed her on one of my missions.
A particular one I remember from playing "make-believe" with my mom and brother as a kid was a daughter of Lupin who would alternate between being bitten by her dad on accident or by Greyback on purpose. She'd always hook up with Harry, Ron, and Hermione and was the absolute best student at everything. I remember one game when she even got sorted into both Ravenclaw and Gryffindor at the same time. Ugh. Oh, and her fainting spell on the train in third year was always much more dramatic traumatic than Harry's and therefore better.
And the third, which I'm seriously considering writing a deliberately bad fanfic about, was one I pretended to be on my own (possibly because even when I was seven I knew how terrible the idea was). This one, who I distinctly remember being named Jade, was hatched from a Hungarian Horntail egg but looked like a human save for her eyes (yellow with vertical slits), wings, and tail, and she could also breathe fire. Charlie Weasley found her shortly after she hatched and she got raised as Ron's twin sister. She helped Harry in the Triwizard Tournament by speaking to the dragon and asking if he could have the egg that wasn't a real egg. She was also allowed to play Quidditch in her first year—Chaser, I think she booted Alicia Spinnet off the team—and ended up hooking up with George for the Yule Ball. Yep, her adoptive brother. *headdesk*
I'm up way too late and can't sleep, so cute it.
I have two potentially disastrous cases in my closet that, thankfully, I became too bored to fully develop. The first one was partially Suvian due to his species, which was from World One about a bajillion years in the future. Each member was basically a human with animal characteristics. They also had magic. Really, really overpowered magic. The kind that destroys entire castles. Also, the species had no actual age limit. Members couldn't die of old age, and could look however they wanted. Oh, and they had healing powers that got better as they aged, so that once they were ready to leave their parents' territories, they could survive lethal wounds if their bodies were still basically whole, and a while after that, they could survive dismemberment, and a while after that, they could survive being turned to ashes, and the only way to kill them was to completely transform their bodies into energy, something which I did not fully comprehend at that time and which, in that world, would have only destroyed a city. Oh, and the two eldest members of the species could survive that, and it would basically have only turned every spell they cast into Cast From Hit Points. Oh, and this species literally had no cap on how much their abilities could develop, so theoretically, they could have infinite anything.
My character was part spider, and also a specialist in contract magic. It's exactly what it sounds like. He tricked people into signing contracts that basically said, "The party of first part may now do whatever the bunny he wants to the party of the second part, literally." That last word is, of course, where the magic came in, in addition to the magic binding everybody to his will. He was blatant wish fulfillment, as this species basically dominated the planet, and did whatever he wanted prior to the beginning of the imagined plot, when he would undergo a moral turnaround and also become a convert. Gag me with a spork.
The other one is, by comparison, tame. It was a ridiculous Fairy Tail fanfic full of Suvian OCs, including people wielding Seith Magic, Ice-Make Magic, and other canons one hundred percent perfectly despite being potentially younger than the canon characters, and a couple ridiculous Magics that I made up, including a kind of Song Magic that forced people to act in manners that fit the song being played and would have turned the thing into a really bad Songfic. The only things the younger me got right were A) Not using the canon characters, and instead setting the story a couple hundred years later, because even poor deluded me realized that I had no writing experience and couldn't write the canon characters personalities correctly, and B) Actually setting limits on Arc of Embodiment, whose full extent was poorly defined at that time (the Tenrou Island Arc had just come out) in order to keep it from being ridiculously OP.
But when we were younger, me, my younger brother, and my cousin used to play Star Wars all the time, and we were a regular trio of Stus. We were all powerful Jedi Masters, respected generals during the Clone Wars and Galactic Civil War, accomplished fleet commanders, survivors of Order 66, leaders of entire governments or armies... The list goes on for a while. We pretty much just used the Star Wars universe as a jumping off point and then did whatever the heck we wanted.
Some notably Stu-y accomplishments of my self-insert self include:
Being functionally immortal through a combination of hitherto undiscovered bacta treatments and made up Force powers.
Being the Chief of State of the New Republic and Grandmaster of the New Jedi Order while their previous incarnations still existed.
Being a powerful enough Force user to manipulate turbolaser shots.
Being a skilled enough lightsaber duelist to take on multiple Sith Lords.
And that was just off the top of my head.
To be fair to my past self, though, as I grew older I did realize how ridiculously powerful I was, and we all gradually toned down how powerful we were, before eventually killing ourselves off.
In appropriately dramatic fashion, of course.
Other than that, I don't have any really Sueish characters. OFUM and the PPC got to me right as I started to take an interest in writing, and all the characters I had come up with before then were pretty standard fantasy hero fare.. I've got a few characters now who might get a bit Sue-y if I screw up writing them, but nothing really embarrassing.
Not that I remember, anyway.
Run around with Vibroweapons, get lightsaber-resistant materials, and beat up Jedi. I was training in the use of a force pike.
When I was WAY younger, I ended up creating an entire fleet of Sues and Stus that, if published, would have me dead in a heartbeat. They were for a poorly-executed PUBLISHED school/town AU for Plants vs. Zombies. (I best know it as the fandom with too little canon and too much fanon. But it's cool most of the time, and I play the games, anyways.)
The characters from the AU were already replacements, so I basically possessed them in my brain. Here's where shit got real:
At the same age, I was addicted to the JP-only Super Robot Wars series, basically a series of mecha anime crossover games. Now, my understanding of it was very, very poor at the time compared to how I see it now. This, combined with my inability to grasp the fact that I was, in fact, leading a huge suvian army, lead to me SHOEHORNING ROBOTS FROM SAID SERIES INTO THESE FANTASIES, BEEFING THEM UP AS HARD AS POSSIBLE, AND INTEGRATING IT INTO THE CHARACTER'S DAILY LIVES AS HARD AS POSSIBLE (THEY ARE 12-16 IN THE AU MIND YOU), RELEASING GLITTER EVERYWHERE. Sorry, just had to vent. Anyway, I don't need to explain things further. They were in writing as deep as you could go with Sues that have stuff from multiple universes for no reason, and just Sues in general.
If you want to know how I even got to that in the first place years ago, just take a look at this: pvzkomiks.wikia.com (Be warned: Really bad writing and possibly bad psychology. No you are not allowed to kill these people, they still don't glitter in my eyes. It's not mine, either.)
I think I only have one really bad OC, and he was part of an original world. He was the latest in a line of messianic figures chosen to save the world. He had the knowledge of the champions that came before him, plus magic powers granted by a large sentient crystal. He also had several shapeshifting forms, one of which had gills and wings at the same time.
I don't have any of my fanfiction anymore, but mostly I'd learned that my OC shouldn't be more important than existing characters.
September Johnson was originally a telekinetic from a world inspired by X-men and Pegasus in Flight. My mutants/psychics were about as flashy as Misfits of Science. They lived in abandoned places and stole to survive.
Jenni used to be fairly sparkly before the PPC. The good news is that I was more of a role-player than a ficcer, and I was taught manners in a private play-by-e-mail group fairly early on. After getting scolded for one big gaffe in which she teleported another character out of danger without their player's consent, all healery, telepath-y, and/or romancey shenanigans were conducted with the full cooperation of my fellow players.
That said, she still managed to get away with things like (a) Impressing a female brown dragon from the stands and becoming a Junior Weyrwoman in practically no time flat (which was not my plan; I just said yes when asked); (b) abducting the Phantom of the Opera from the end of the story and living with him in a quaint modern-ish little house (behold the resulting fic); and (c) sleeping with Severus Snape despite the fact that he was married to another even more glittery OC and had a kid at the time, and there was SO much angst. (Seriously, look at my terrible art from 2003. You can practically taste the angst.) So, take that with as big a grain of salt as you like. {= )
There were also a couple characters who were basically off-brand clones of Jenni and were more or less equally Sueish. You can meet them in this Farscape fanfic and this character bio (note this is the improved version, after I got PPC input on her; then weep), if you really want to, but I'm sure you guys have better things to do.
It's shocking I'm not more ashamed of myself, but it was all so much fun at the time. The fact that people were in on it all with me helps a lot, too. ^_^ Well, except for the Farscape thing. That was all me; but I think Jen'ra is more just flat and ungodly dull and predictable than urple? I'unno; at any rate, it never seemed worthwhile to spork her. *shrug*
~Neshomeh
You could argue that the first one is just a sort of stylisation thing, but, the other ones...
Who on earth are they drawing?
supersonic805, who could absorb energy, and channel it out by other means. The reason this got out of hand is because he absorbed a nuclear explosion, so now he could pretty much do anything. He also had green eyes, due to that stereotypical radiation glow. Mind you, my friend put that bomb there just to see what would happen. He did have to suffer the effects of radiation sickness, however. Theoretically, he could also stop anything that came towards him, but that never happened, because my friend was a gigantic war machine that slaughtered everything before I had a chance to do anything. supersonic805 lost that power after fighting Frank Horrigan with a crowbar. In midair. I may use him again, after that business with Omega Supreme.
This is actually my 4th time trying to write this, as the last few times, I just got really angry with my friend, for putting me through that bloodbath.
I used him as the basis for when I played Minecraft with the Ars Magica II mod, but then the world got corrupted by an Iron Golem. So I guess he's the perfect person to be sent through a plothole by a massive iron fist.
Terrordactyl should be a pretty obvious case to those of you who've read my very first PPC mission. However, he isn't actually an isolated specimen - almost every single self-insert of mine has had similar traits of wish fulfillment like dragon/pterosaur wings, aerokinesis, a Godzilla-sized ego and nobody questions it, waxing my views and interests, the works. Falchion is perhaps the exception to this rule because he's probably the only self-insert whom I've actually made an effort to work well within the world he's in (the PPC, of course). Everyone else? Well, I killed them all... with THIS THUMB. *shows thumb*
*points at Agent!Sergio* That's him. He got better, though.
Things of note (not all mentioned in Blank Sprite yet, but none is spoilerish anymore):
- Fell in love with Sakura Kinomoto of Card captor Sakura and managed to win her over despite the fact CLAMP pretty muhc state she an Syaoran are soulmates.
(And for CLAMP soulmates mean "they would've fell in love with each other even if there was an age difference, and regardless of either's gender")
- An accomplished Interpol Special Investigator at fourteen years old. Implied to have taken up the job at ten.
- Built himself a 900-horsepower car deemed so highly performant that he's the only one capable of driving it.
- Actually a sort-of-failed genetical experiment created by his archnemesis for extra angst points. (Though he discovered it rather late in the story and we have to concede him that he didn't angst much, more of trying to rationalyze it)
There's probably more, but the most blatant stuff is here.
The only one I specifically remember is Kara. I thought her up back when I was more into Naruto. She was Gaara's cousin (complete with red hair) and had his sand powers, but she was sane. (Mostly.) She showed up in a game of make-believe with my brother, too. For some reason I literally introduced her as a prisoner on a slave ship alongside my little brother's Stu OC, a younger Uchiha brother. (The latter got relatively little development, thankfully.) After the obligatory break-out-at-the-slave-auction sequence, the two of them got their own separate game, where I further decided that she'd figured out how to manipulate the sand-coffin thing Gaara does so it didn't always kill, taught at the Konoha ninja academy (after going through the exams, where she only cheated once, and a timeskip), and had a Summoning contract with a giant bird. Also, she had a pet Chihuahua named Zack who was mostly there for cuteness relief.
*dusts off hands*
...you'd be interested in writing this character into a deliberate badfic for the sole purpose of sporking it? Because that would be amazing.
And like one comic for an art camp. She's inherently unfinished. Maybe I'll use her for the next Badfic Game instead. >:)