Have a shovel that digs up names! You kinda need one.

I'm not familiar with Arpeggio of Blue Steel, but I'm sure someone else here is. Here's a bucket of popcorn to eat while you read the Original Series and other important things at the top of the board!

Where's that name from, by the way?
It must be a reference to one of those ani-mees the kids keep going on about.

As it is customary to give a gift to the poor souls that wander into this damp corner of the internet, I bestow upon you:
Red Steel!
It's much faster than normal steel, I'll tell you that much.

I've the same problems Scape had, mainly relating to spelling, punctuation, grammar, et al.
There's a bit of a 'telling, not showing' problem, too.
'I got hit by an piece of rubble that hit my legs and made me fall to the ground.'
You're telling us what's happening, but you're not really showing it.
How does the main character feel?
What's it sound like? What's it smell like?
Is your character panicking, is he dully taking the danger in?
Not writing a documentary, y'know!
Et al, et al, I'd like to find more, but I've exams, and it's 8:50. Sorry about that.

I don't really know how much else I can help - I literally know more about quantum physics than I know about the canon of this here story.
And I'm not bragging.
I know nothing about quantum physics.
Good luck, anyway.

Please accept this elegantly crafted starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiiit's Remoraid!

And your starting item is:-

Lemon Mishap from The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth!

Lemon Mishap's a peculiar item, because it boosts Water-type moves by 33% and allows them to hit all enemies. This means it's pretty great on a 'mon like Remoraid, since it allows you to do amazing damage with Water Spout, which is by far its best move. Try a Timid one with EVs in Speed and Special Attack, and give it the moves Water Spout, Hydro Pump, Fire Blast, and Ice Beam or Hidden Power Electric, depending on what you want to hit. Most importantly, have fun! =]

As for your fic, well... I can't really help you. I've never seen an episode of Arpeggion of Blue Steel, though the name does ring a bell, but what I can say is that your SPaG needs a lot of work. You're making povs, and this is a bad thing (though povs are cute and go snrf); especially in fanfic, we should know who's talking and who's point of view it is via a line break or similar scene change indicator. =]