Have a purple glitter gel pen. Apparently agents aren't allowed to use them to fill out mission reports.

Have *tugs leash* this *c'mon* flat cow. Her tail wraps around, twists, and joins up with her nose because her name is Moobius.

Oh, there's probably a rule against giving newbies canon characters. Probably part of Things I Am Not Allowed to Do at the PPC.

Any questions you have, I'll try to answer them, but I don't know as much about the PPC as a lot of people; I've only been here for a couple months.

I think that everyone else has already provided the appropriate resources for how understand this chaotic place, so let me just get on with the welcome gift giving:
Please have a Rorschach Book, which changes according to what you currently want to read. Just close your eyes, think about what you wanna read three times.

And since I'm also a fan of both Harry Potter and the Fate/ series , have a Muggle-use wand a replica of Excalibur!

Please accept this starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiiit's Meditite!

And your starting item is:-

The Bible from The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth!

The Bible is a very niche item because of how it interacts with things, giving you both Flying STAB and giving every attack a 30% chance to increase the holder's primary attacking stat by 1 stage (which means Serene Grace users can have all manner of fun with it). Meditite likes it quite a bit; thanks to its ability Pure Power, it can beat the living daylights out of pretty much everything it comes across, so try an all-out attacking set with an Adamant Nature and EVs in Attack and Speed, then give it the moves Drain Punch, Zen Headbutt, Ice Punch, and High Jump Kick - the latter in particular can knock seven bells even out of stuff that resists it. Just remember that your defences are rubbish, so use it wisely, and also remember to have fun. =]

This shovel digs up lost DnD stat blocks!

Now, thiis place may be a madhouse, but the Wiki should hold most of the impoortant informations for you. Have a read and lots of fun, please. Oh, and some black-hole chocolates too.

Welcome aBoard! Sorry for being a bit late.
Anyway, have this bottle of space! From a continuum where space is water. A water bottle, then, I guess.

Come on in, have a seat by the fireplace. Just don't pull the candlestick on the mantelpiece, I still haven't got the secret door fixed.

The others seem to have covered explaining things for you, so allow me to present you with a Replica Holocron. You never know when you might need to store some ancient lore.

Also, as I see your fandoms include Harry Potter and Doctor Who, I am required to ask, who's your favorite Doctor, and what House are you in?

As a matter of fact — I know and like the Bartimaeus trilogy, too. And the Nasuverse, specifically Fate/. Welcome to the club! As a newbie gift, here, have this cute little hedgehog. And a cup of green tea.

PS: People die when they are killed.

Eeeee?! Percy Jackson AND Doctor Who AND Harry Potter... Well, that's music to my ears! :D

To simplify the explanation: We're a MIB-like organisation (although poorly coorinated - YOU HEARD ME, SO!), which travels through fictional worlds and keep them away from any sort of bad writing! :)

If you ever need more explaining, or some help with getting your PPC stuff done, click my name and send me an email :)

Well, hello there!
Do mind your step, there's a lot of glass and alcohol and fire and cyanide lying around. You know how it is.

I can't gift you an understanding of how this place works, but I can give you an ASCII art picture of a stickman.

o
/|<br> / <br>
I hope that proves to be a suitable substitute.
Welcome!
Swanky name, by the way.

The PPC is confusing, but I believe most of the wacky things that happen and other strange phenomena are recorded in the Wiki. Have a plate of cheeses!

O-O Here, have a lollipop! ===([])

Here's a bucket of popcorn to eat while you read the Guide to the PPC, located on the Wiki, as well as all the important links on top of the Board! Also a pack of graph paper, in case you ever need to draw a map of something. :)

I can't give a full overview of this place, but I can tell you that this place is amazing. Woohoo! I'm not really sure what to give you this time around. Scones, Axes, Mind-bending lullabies... How about just some Lembas? And a commercial, to boot. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4EhYyXfIaOM

Have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes! More gifts to come once we know of what fandoms you're in. Also, have you read the Original Series or the Constitution yet?

Whatever the case, we hope you enjoy your stay!