I've been gone for so long and I seek to gouge my eyes out

Subject: I've been gone for so long and I seek to gouge my eyes out
Author: Rie
Posted on: 2016-04-11 14:36:00 UTC

Hi guys! I suspect no one would remember who I am due to my extremely long absence from the posting board, theatres been very busy and I just got to resting after a particularly long school year and I think I can't move properly for a while due to all the moving around I had to do.

Anyway, have I missed anything? Aside from that, I'm looking for bad Hobbitfics to burn my eyes with aside from the current one I'm reading which is eighty six chapters long. (Which is why I have lots of eye bleach and brain bleach in store right now) So do you guys have any suggestion? (I could remember one particular fic where a bunch of friends landed in middle earth due to a plane crash and one of them was screeching about not going onto the plane, I can't recall the title though.)

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I've been gone for so long and I seek to gouge my eyes out by Rie on 2016-04-11 14:36:00 UTC

Hello, nice to meet you by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-04-12 04:26:00 UTC Reply

I joined up a moth or so ago. I don't have any Hobbitfics for you, but I have this. *Hands you a worn and tattered slipper* I do theater too, but not to the point where it gets in the way of posting. Did you just finish a play? How did it go?

Nice to meet you! by Rie on 2016-04-12 04:51:00 UTC Reply

Hello there! Nice to meet you and thank you for the slipper, I'm sure it will come in handy! Yes actually, I volunteered to be a director/stage manager/choreographer of a school play for Les Mis, it was an utter nightmare for me since I was balancing college with it. It went well though, the reception was good and everyone loved it. Though I think the cast and crew wouldn't wasn't to hear any of its songs for a while.

I applaud you by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-04-12 05:10:00 UTC Reply

That does sound like a nightmare. I tried to direct once, in middle school, and I barely stayed sane (some would argue I didn't). Congratulations on doing that, and I promise not to talk about Les Mis around you. (Which should be easy, since I know nothing about it.)

-- Key

I was on my last threads of sanity that time by Rie on 2016-04-12 05:14:00 UTC Reply

It's okay, theatre was not meant for the same as my professor had said. Thanks, I think I could live for some time without hearing the music even though I love the story and everything about the play and novel.

Jokes on you, I remember exactly who you are. by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-04-12 03:52:00 UTC Reply

You work in theatres, you like names that have only three letters, you like The Hobbit, you move around a whole lot and you are unafraid of the dangers of eye-gouging.

Yeah, that's right. We're basically twins, at this point. Mental bond, and all.

I'd give you a gift, but it wouldn't be a surprise, then, would it?
Where's the fun in that?

It's nice to meet you! by Rie on 2016-04-12 05:19:00 UTC Reply

Oh wow, I never thought someone would be so similar to me in interests. It's a pleasure to meet you , weird twin o' mine!

If the gift is a bad Hobbitfic then I'm all up for it along with getting hit by a train and my heart being eaten out by a velociraptor.

Sorry, don't have a bad Hobbitfic. by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-04-12 08:54:00 UTC Reply

Which one is it, then?
Train or velociraptor?

Re: Sorry, don't have a bad Hobbitfic. by Ret on 2016-04-12 12:52:00 UTC Reply

Velociraptor. Definitely velociraptor.

I want to see the other boarders get on this. by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-04-13 02:38:00 UTC Reply

What would you rather be killed by?
Train or velociraptor?

Train by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-04-13 05:11:00 UTC Reply

Velociraptors are cool and all, but they're much more likely to draw it out. And pain doesn't seem so bad when you're sitting idly contemplating it from your desk, but everything always hurts much worse than you expect it to.

Also, trains are much less likely to take down other people with you, as opposed to a suddenly appearing velociraptor.

And trains are exhilarating. Have you ever read the book "Cruddy," by Lynda Barry? That girl is obsessed with trains. And I'm reading it right now for class, and it's a lovely book, so train.

I was considering that, by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-04-13 06:42:00 UTC Reply

But the buggers are pack predators, right?
The type of things that just sort of wait for you to be distracted by a bright light, or something, and just swarm on you.
I'm not saying that it'll be as quick as a train death, but I doubt it'll be torture level.

And, let's be honest, who, out there, can brag 'I was killed by velociraptors.'
Be the first, I say.
Trains? by Iximaz on 2016-04-13 05:17:00 UTC Reply

I like trains.

Welcome back! *tosses Spikes* by SkarmorySilver on 2016-04-11 22:14:00 UTC Reply

And wow, people ending up in Middle Earth via a plane crash? That alone is ridiculous in of itself. *shakes head*

As compensation, have a pocket-sized Smaug! Warning: Keep him away from strangers and your valuables. I am in no way responsible for his instinctive urge to hoard shiny things and set fire to anybody who tries to take them away... or anybody else, for that matter.

I'm actually fine with the Girl in Middle Earth trope by Rie on 2016-04-12 05:12:00 UTC Reply

No, really, I am, I fully support ideas like that. But when it's always some unfortunate accident or a trip or something weirdly unexplainable I don't like it. And when the girl is fated to save the sons of Durin but it turns out they can't fend for themselves and they turn out to be whiny, I get a bit irritated because I was hoping for the girl to be able to prove herself capable of protecting the people she's supposed to keep safe. And I really don't like unexplained reasons of falling into ME like "Oh, you're a Tolkien fan? Lemme just drop you right into Middle Earth just when it's starting to take a turn for the worst! Enjoy!" I'm a salty noodle about that.

I think a plane crash should have killed them, I'm not even joking, I absolutely think they should've died. Or if they really want to survive, they'd have injuries, not bruised.

Thanks for the Smaug, I'm gonna have him burn some Sues if I get irritated enough. Oh damn, I'm gonna have to hide all my shiny stuff, but other than that I think we'll get along just fiiiiiiine. (Actually no, I don't know if a tiny dragon is going to like me that much. oAo)

Hello, returnbie! by Ivy-M-Blue on 2016-04-11 19:55:00 UTC Reply

It is good to see you! I'm quite new, myself, so I was not yet here during your first reign on the Board. Have a box of chocolates. Bleepolate is on the left side, to help with your quest to read badfic.

*shakes hand* I hope to see you around. :)

-Vee

Hello there! by Rie on 2016-04-12 05:03:00 UTC Reply

It's nice to meet you, friend! Thanks for the chocolates - and the bleepolate - I appreciate it! In return, here, have a tub of popcorn, I'd offer you some migraine pills but I don't know if you're in need of it yet. It's a pleasure making your acquaintance!

Welcome back! by palindromordnilap on 2016-04-11 19:54:00 UTC Reply

Have this mini-sparklewolf. Not the Twilight mini, an actual small sparklewolf. You know, the furry OC kind.

Thanks for the nice sparklewolf! by Rie on 2016-04-12 04:59:00 UTC Reply

I'm sure I'll find a suppose for it somehow! And thank you for the warm welcome! :D

Welcome, returnbie! by Badger421 on 2016-04-11 18:24:00 UTC Reply

I'm afraid I can't help you with your quest for Hobbit badfic, for I dare not seek it out for fear of what I may see. However, I can offer you this Datapad. Perhaps it will aid you on your quest.

Thanks for the welcome! by Rie on 2016-04-12 04:58:00 UTC Reply

Thanks for the warm welcome, mate! And the datapad, I don't think the faint of heart - or easily angered people - should be looking up bad Hobbitfics, unfortunately, I'm terribly stupid and a bit masochistic, so I'm seeking out people who could pinpoint me to bad Hobbitfics.

Welcome back! Have a piece of gum. (nm) by MochiIsAwesome on 2016-04-11 16:47:00 UTC Reply

Thanks for the gum and the welcome! :D (nm) by Rie on 2016-04-12 04:55:00 UTC Reply

Hello returnbie. by Hardric on 2016-04-11 16:31:00 UTC Reply

Hope this year will be more peaceful for you. And have a pot of black-hole coffee. It will get you back on your fight in no time.

Re: Hello returnbie. by Rie on 2016-04-12 04:54:00 UTC Reply

I hope for the same, but knowing how theatre is for my school, I doubt it. oAo Luckily it's summer break for us so I'm just resting and writing again. Thanks for the black hole coffee I'm sure it'll help me out! :D

Returnbie! *glomp* *poke* by Iximaz on 2016-04-11 16:19:00 UTC Reply

Have this plate of fresh welcome-back SPaGhetti!

Thank you! (nm) by Rie on 2016-04-11 17:03:00 UTC Reply

Weclome back, Rie! by doctorlit on 2016-04-11 15:38:00 UTC Reply

Sorry to hear you had a rough year, but it fills me with cheer to know you're in the clear!

. . .

Sorry. That just kind of came out.

—doctorlit is srsly glad you're back, though

Re: Weclome back, Rie! by Rie on 2016-04-11 15:49:00 UTC Reply

Rhymes brighten my day, thank you for the welcome! :)

Returnbie! *Glomp* *Boop* by Mattman The Comet on 2016-04-11 15:01:00 UTC Reply

Welcome back! Have this random Munchkin card:

...Well then, it seems you've been ducked

What a nice duck of doom! by Rie on 2016-04-11 15:47:00 UTC Reply

Thank you for the warm welcome! That's a very nice munchkin card if I may add!
What a nice duck of doom! by Anonymous on 2016-04-11 15:47:00 UTC Reply

Thank you for the warm welcome! That's a very nice munchkin card if I may add!

I actually remember you! :D by Matt Cipher on 2016-04-11 14:54:00 UTC Reply

Welcome back! Make yourself comfortable, and have a slice of Infinite Pizza.

Thanks for the pizza! :D by Rie on 2016-04-11 15:45:00 UTC Reply

I'm sure it'll be handy for me! XD

Welcome back! by eatpraylove on 2016-04-11 14:51:00 UTC Reply

You've missed a lot, and I'm going to humbly point to the various Year pages on the Wiki as your guide, since I have no idea who you are.

It's very nice to meet you, though. Here's a bucket of popcorn to eat while you watch badfic play out!

Thanks for the guide and the welcome! by Rie on 2016-04-11 15:52:00 UTC Reply

It's much appreciated, as well as the popcorn!

hello returnbie! by Desdendelle on 2016-04-11 14:38:00 UTC Reply

Welcome back! Here, have this gerbil. He's very friendly.

Oh wow thanks! by Rie on 2016-04-11 14:48:00 UTC Reply

What a nice gerbil, I'm going to take care of 'im! Thank you for the warm welcome!