Sorry to those who wanted to view it. If you didn't notice on the way down I have a Beta signup going for the document. You may also request permission to view it if you ask kindly.

I've seen enough to know that you are a regular participant in the PPC community. You get along well with folks and you add positively to the PPC as a whole. Good on you there. I do not remember your previous Permission attempt, so I can't make any comparisons between then and now.

My following judgements may seem blunt, even harsh. It is not my intention to cause offense.

CHARACTERS
Regarding Matthew, it's nice to see such an in-depth backstory. There's a lot to build on from what you have created, which is always a plus. That said, there are some things that give me pause. I feel like there's a disconnect between being "the kind of person Mr. Rogers knows you can be" and still having jokes that can seem mean-spirited. Surely the Mr. Rogers-esque thing to do would be to not make such jokes in the first place. I also have some qualms about his having ADHD, especially the way you describe it. It seems less like an actual portrayal of ADHD and more like an excuse for Matthew to occasionally engage in "lol so random" hijinks.

There's also the matter of his expertise. Giving Matthew a red belt in taekwondo alone would have been fine. But to have him be skilled enough to mix this typically unarmed martial art with both a sword and a gun? That (all at age 19) plus his higher-than-average IQ sets off some alarm bells in my mind.

Ajax, however, is where I really get concerned. The fact that his preferred tactic is so confrontational makes me think that you want to write big fight scenes between your agents and the Sues. I've said this so many times before, and I will continue saying it forever: PPC agents should not be fighting Sues and Stus face to face. Ever. Not if they want long productive lives. If your agents can face off mano y mano against reality-warping creatures and come away victorious, then what makes them any different from said creatures?

Maybe I've assumed wrong. I would love for that to be the case. But everything I've seen puts doubt in my mind.

PROMPT ONE — RANDOM
This is extremely hard to read. Not for any technical reason, but because it uses such canon-specific language. I appreciate that you tried to explain what a Dragon Shot was for that reason. However, using a phrase like "Budou Lockseed with the Gaim system" didn't really explain much of anything.

Because the PPC is such a mixed bag of fandoms, you can't assume that people here are going to necessarily know what you're talking about when you reference something. You need to balance specific references with explanations that make sense in character. Either that, or you need to describe canon-specific things in such a way that both fans and non-fans alike will understand them. For example, a Mass Effect omni-tool might be described instead as an orange holograph appearing over a person's arm like a gauntlet, or something.

PROMPT TWO — CONTROL
This story is easier to read, but ultimately comes off as being a bit bland. I don't get much of a feel for your characters beyond Ajax being grumpy and Matthew being a bit of a goof. There's very little that makes them stand out.

There are also some SPaG errors in this story, including:
— "High School," "Mini-Fridge," and "Flag" do not need to be capitalized.
— The third paragraph on the first page is awkwardly structured due in large part to misused commas.
— There are several paragraphs which mingle the actions of the two agents, making it difficult to determine who is doing what. For example, the eighth paragraph on the second page does not elaborate who is speaking.

PROPOSED FIC
Yeah, that definitely fits. I don't know anything about Percy Jackson, but I can see plenty of problems even without that knowledge.

All in all, I'm going to have to say that your Permission request is denied. Your characters concern me, and both of your writing examples had rather glaring issues. I would recommend going back to the drawing board and breaking down your agents. Think less about power levels and more about what makes them tick.

If you have any questions, feel free to let me know.

PC