Boy, am I late to this party! I'm a newbie myself, so I don't recognise you, but welcome back! Did you miss your sporking days? :) I'm Matilda or Ivy, or any variation of either. I'd be impressed if there even are any nicknames for Ivy.
Have some chocolate. Chocolate is good.

Take a seat by the fireplace, there's always a comfy chair lying about somewhere.

Oh, and take these macrobinoculars. Binoculars, compass, rangefinder, and video camera all rolled into one. Handy, isn't it?

Not as awesome as you are, obviously, but I try.

Ever played any of the Mother/Earthbound games, which inspired Undertale?
Played Mother 3. Jolly good time.
Jolly good writing.

My gift to you is: eighty kilograms of powdered limbium, the only metal harvested from arms and legs.
It was discovered by the very conveniently named John Limb, and was probably invented by God, or someone or something of that type. John Limb, conveniently, was also probably invented by God or someone or something of that type.

Please accept this starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiiiiit's Roserade!

And your starting item is:-

Holy Limbs from Rogue Legacy!

Now, for a special attacker like Roserade, Holy Limbs is a fantastic item. Not only does it grant a 20% damage boost to all your Special moves, but it also has a 50% chance to raise your Special Attack for every kill you get. This in mind, you're going to want to go all in on damage. I'd recommend using a Timid one with Technician and giving it the moves Sleep Powder, Sludge Bomb, Hidden Power Fire, and Giga Drain for a bit of reliable healing. Remember that you're vulnerable to physical attacks, though - but also remember to have fun. =]

Happy for you that you came back to this madhouse. Have a pot of black-hole coffee, please.

Welcome back, Himu! Have a cup of confused Lapsang Souchong as a welcome-back gift — just be gentle with it, it's not certain whether it smells like a campfire or something else.

I do recognize your name, actually: You posted those two Rune Factory fics on the Unclaimed list. I did a giant cleanup of said list a few weeks ago, so they're not there anymore.

It's nice to properly meet you! Have a pack of miniature index cards, a red pen, and a sweetroll!

Hey there, and welcome back aBoard! Take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

And I'm guessing it was three years ago, unless someone else drops by to correct me—I showed up back in 2014 and they've been trying to get rid of me ever since. :P

Hopefully you stick around this time!