Subject: Or someone pretending to be an absolute. . .
Author:
Posted on: 2016-03-11 06:28:00 UTC
(. . . is that word allowed on the Board? Are we cussing now?)
Or someone who feels like they need to act like an absolute twat so that no one will ever know how they truly feel inside. . . which sounds like a badfic premise but Rainbow Rowell made it work and every time Baz smirks my heart breaks a little bit.
No clue if anyone's willing to listen, but I figured I'd rant, because this has been on my mind for a while. There's a series in particular that I'm thinking of, although I won't say it because I'm a polite person. Kind of.
Let's set the scene.
The summary looks a bit cheesy, but intriguing. The story is a decent length, and when you click on the link, a cheerful author's note greets you. The story begins surprisingly well, with correct grammar, and doesn't deviate from canon too much in a short time.
Actually, it doesn't deviate from canon at all, save to add in snippets of a character who appears to be smarter than the incredibly brilliant canon protagonist.
The protagonist, who, canonically, has respect for the English language and does not text with "u" or "gr8."
I had such high hopes for that piece, and the first chapter destroyed it.
*takes deep breath and refrains from slamming head against nearest hard surface*
For some reason, I continued to read this fic, hoping that maybe it would get better. The only reason I was able to finish was because it was punctuated correctly, and the author didn't completely mess up the final scene. (It was a Sherlock fic, that much I will reveal.)
BUT SWEET RASSILON, THE SEQUEL. It simultaneously made Sherlock into someone fluffy, loving, and caring, while destroying the tentative humanity shown in the programme. My favourite part of 'Hounds of the Baskervilles' was ruined. The OC became Sherlock's pride and joy, and I felt as though John was just sort of there for the ride.
Oh, yeah. And then Sherlock and the OC got engaged.
(Spoilers begin here)
This may descend into complete caps lock madness, but I will try my hardest to keep it coherent. The final episode of Season 2 approached, inevitably. After Sherlock jumped, the OC somehow figured out, within seconds, that Sherlock's death was fake. *runs into corner, screeching*
Alright, I'm back.
She then proceeds NOT TO MENTION ANYTHING TO JOHN. POOR, HEARTBROKEN JOHN. THE OC KEEPS THIS KNOWLEDGE TO HERSELF FOR TWO YEARS, EVEN AS SHE KNOWS THAT JOHN CARES SO DEEPLY FOR SHERLOCK.
And then - by the Angel, her treatment of Anderson made me want to pull my hair out. Yes, Anderson wasn't exactly the kindest character in the first two seasons. However, we see that he felt genuine remorse for believing that he drove Sherlock to death. (He became the ultimate fanboy.) Still, we learned that Anderson's actions were all a part of Moriarty's plot to destroy Sherlock's good name.
So, the OC, who figured out Sherlock is alive (because she's SPESHUL), puts on a teary, heartbroken face in front of Anderson, who's presenting his latest theories on Sherlock. She sees the fact that she's causing him more guilt than he already has over the situation. Once he leaves, she SMIRKS, wipes away her "tears," and proceeds with life as normal.
HELP. Where can I find some Bleeprin, please?
(Wow, that was a lot of ranting. Whoops.)
*Screeches in anger*
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8831480/1/Holmes-Is-Where-the-Heart-Is That's it; I'm not exactly sure how to link things into Board posts. But hey, I tried! (Be warned: it's a series. I'm not sure if the good grammar makes it more bearable or just more disappointing.)
Also, if there's any way I can help spork it, just let me know. If not, I will be thrilled to read the mission!!
I skipped the first two chapters, NOT my cup of tea was that episode... *shudder*
Oh, so she's the only one Sherlock chooses not to analyze. Ha. Ha. Ha. Right. He analyzes John, his BF, all the time, out of habit.
And she guesses that the Hound was a genetic experiment right off the bat in oh-so-subtle foreshadowing.
And she knows that Sherlock... Wait. WHAT? Sherlock was faking his fear? Aww man, that just went and ruined some of the best character development of Sherlock ever! Aww man... Not happy. Very not happy. Wait, but... Huh. Now I don't know if he was faking it or not, but I hope the fear was real.
Mrs. Holmes... Grrrr....
And of course she's the one that deduces Henry's past in the end...
OH COME ON! WHY DOES SHE FIGURE OUT IT'S ADDLESTONE? WHY CAN'T SHERLOCK USE HIS MORE AWESOME MIND PALACE?
Oh, and when he's running from the law, he thinks she'll get hurt, with no concern for John. :(
He uses the awesome "side of the angels" line to call her an angel! NO. JUST NO.
She nicknamed him LOCKSLEY. For Pete's sake, that's almost as bad as "Sherl"!
And she knows. SHE KNOWS. FOR PETE'S SAKE, THERE IS NO WAY SHE COULD EVER KNOW.
I couldn't find the bit where she smiled after grueling Anderson, unfortunately.
Alright. That's it. *sharpens spork*
The Time When Sherlock Holmes is Afraid scene in The Hound of Baskervilles is probably my favourite scene in all of BBC's Sherlock. It's raw, emotional, and incredibly honest. I do not think that fear was fake.
I nearly screamed at the "fake" fear in that fic. (Ooh, alliteration. Fancy.)
I believe that the Leena-goes-too-far-with-Anderson scene is in the next book. Why oh why do I read bad fan fiction? It infuriates me. I'm not sure what I think will happen if I continue reading, because it tends to get worse as the plot goes on.
(Don't even get me started on the "blog" that goes alongside this series because I will probably cause an explosive reaction with the force of my anger.)
Anyway, glad to see that I'm not the only one who finds this fic absolutely maddening. :)
"Locksley, I'm gonna cut your heart out with a spoon!"
I couldn't resist.
Baker Street Fanfiction Academy, work your magic!
This is lovely, exactly what I needed. Thanks!
I have a horrible memory. I forget things that shouldn't even be possible, like what country I'm in (No, really). My short attention span combines with that to make reading anything that drags on with unnecessarily large words next to impossible. I wind up forgetting earlier parts of the sentence, and I end up re-reading the whole thing so many times that anyone else could finish the book in half the time it takes me.
Oddly, me and chemistry get along well, despite the need for huge words. Maybe it's because all the words are nice and orderly and logical... unlike urple prose.
I hate smirking.
No offence meant to any smirkers on the board, but, dear God, it's the action of an absolute TWAT.
Every time I read about someone smirking, for whatever reason, I just want to shave their bloody face off and feed it to a bloody crocodile, who I will then put onto a bloody spaceship to get sent to the bloody sun, which will eventually go bloody supernova and consume the bloody solar system, wiping that BLOODY SMIRK out of existence forever.
The smirk looks very much at home on the face of Draco Malfoy, for example...
(. . . is that word allowed on the Board? Are we cussing now?)
Or someone who feels like they need to act like an absolute twat so that no one will ever know how they truly feel inside. . . which sounds like a badfic premise but Rainbow Rowell made it work and every time Baz smirks my heart breaks a little bit.
You'll go nuclear at lightspeed. On the other hand, one could muster this energy for powering up every single thing on Earth...
When you duck up your attacks in this game, your enemies 'smirk'... meaning they get a massive boost for their next attack. On the plus side, you can smirk too.
Keep the Board kiddie- and family-friendly.
Sorry.
Just, the passion.
Do you need some chocolate? Have some chocolate.
How are you going to clean all that up?
and a bloody bucket of bloody water and a bloody sponge and bloody steel-bloody-wool and bloody buggering SMIRKS.