Subject: And now for something completely different...
Author:
Posted on: 2016-02-27 01:18:00 UTC
...an Intelligence report, courtesy of some blocky green thing. Warning: Original fic is NSFW/NSFB.
Special thanks to S.M.F. and domirossi for beta-reading!
Poor agent
I'm assuming that the fic is less about Silent Hill and Dora, and more on the Bleep-ish side? I hope this isn't what Silent Hill is really like. (This does not paint me a good picture of what my cousin did on my Wii.)
...I don't think pedophilia is one of the things it deals with; even if sexuality is a pretty common theme in the games, including a lot of the monsters looking like naked people, almost everyone involved was probably legal or older. Which is why to me, the way this fic tried to sexualize a SEVEN-YEAR-OLD-GIRL (or whatever age Dora is in canon) was so, SO much worse. D:
OK, I never thought I would ever hear the phrase 'Sex God Pyramid Head' in my lifetime, but there you go.
*Ahem*
This is almost definitely a replacement of Pyramid Head. The canonical character is honestly more of a manifestation of the player character's psyche than anything else, and is specific to that one character in particular. Since Silent Hill is a manifestation of that character's mind, the very fact that Dora is even [i]in[/i] the town, a world created by the shattered mind of a broken man, is a massive charge.
But we can use this to our advantage: Pyramid Head also seems to act as an executioner of wicked humans (At least, according to the wiki). My idea for getting rid of the replacement? Just portal the real Pyramid Head in front of the replacement and let the canon character disembowel him. And for the love of canon, get it on film.
Also, those 'seamen' that Sex God Pyramid Head was covered by will need to be neuralyzed and sent somewhere, too-World One will do fine.
...I get the feeling I probably shouldn't spork this fic myself, for two reasons. The first is that the fic itself is pretty short, only four chapters and not much in the way of subject matter despite all that prose. (A matter of personal taste, of course - I did spork a 2-chapter fic once, and also one with chapters that were literally just short paragraphs.)
Secondly, and more importantly, I point-blank refuse to touch ANYTHING involving straight-up pedophilia. Even if I COULD get a story out of something this short, I've already seen the back end of a couple of nasty fics and I've had to scrounge a bit for mission-worthy content for some of them. Sadly, for my taste, a monstrous character replacement intending to bang a freaking seven-year-old offers absolutely no humor-worthy material at all, and worse yet, there's not much else besides exactly that in this fic. If anyone else is courageous enough to try their luck with it, I'd be happy to see the outcome, but I just don't think I can make an interesting mission out of it.
Besides, I don't have or plan to have a WhatThe team, and my DIC team would probably want my head on a pole if I sent them something this traumatizing. XD
(Also, for future reference, please tag posts mentioning NSFW content as such in the subject line. We're trying to keep this a family-friendly place and in all honesty our underage peers could do without any unpleasant surprises. ^^;)
The way the town works in Silent Hill is that it punishes you with the contents of your mind, all your past sins, the things you're still beating yourself up for day after day, deep down. The effect I can see this having on Dora the Explorer is, to quote Men In Black, precisely dick. So the mission in this is, well, Dora having an adventure in a happy little seaside town in New England somewhere.