Subject: Whoops!
Author:
Posted on: 2016-02-19 17:55:00 UTC
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bIK0Vh4sLFK8M-XLzr7qp9Q1G4mc6vl1M-7h0c_g8DU/edit?usp=sharing
How's this?
Okay, I'll need time to ponder how to refine her. She learned of Sonic's universe the same way all the other Agents learned of other universes; by reading, watching and playing their stories!
I should note that the facsimiles exist only for as long as she sings.
I submit for the approval of the Midnight Society, er, I mean the Protectors of the Plot Continuum...
The bio: Name: Norinj
Appearance: The beak of a rooster, the face of a swallow, the forehead of a fowl, the neck of a snake, the breast of a goose, the back of a tortoise, the hindquarters of a stag and the tail of a fish. Black, white, red, blue, and yellow feathers.
Species: Fenghuang
Gender: Huang (Female)
Universe: I haven’t fully created it yet…
Personality: Highly curious about species of mythological creatures from other universes as her world is populated only by mythical things, to the point that she’ll sometimes ask insensitive questions to people she just met. A bit wary of works that have creatures that are entirely good or entirely evil depending on their species (such as Redwall and Lord of the Rings) due to a historical event in her world concerning a republic that had the same mentality. Might have trouble thinking of Mary-Sues as being completely evil. Perhaps should be told that Mary-Sues are to Original Characters what criminals are to ordinary folk.
Ability: Flight and sings songs to create facsimiles of people, creatures or even locations which will behave in accordance to their originals’ personalities. For example, “It Doesn’t Matter” will create a reproduction of Sonic the Hedgehog that will strive to protect the innocent and defeat evil. Norinj can even manipulate nearby instruments to play. The summoned can’t affect those who can’t hear them. (Will they work on inanimate objects?) She has to be careful she doesn’t hum, whistle or sing accidentally.
History: Hatched in a forest of orange bamboo. Learned the history of her universe at school. She swallowed a rock that she wasn’t aware had special properties for her gizzard, thus making her music magic. She could regurgitate it anytime (and does so occasionally to replace the dull rocks in her gizzard with sharp ones anyway) but she’s afraid of it falling into the wrong hands/talons/paws. She fell into a plothole and fell into the PPC’s headquarters. Went a bit nuts with excitement as she beheld creatures that are considered fictional in her world, such as foxes and humans, and creatures that are different from her home continuum’s, such as trolls and dwarves.
Department: Of Mary-Sues?
The prompt: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XcCcBuoyGoECqjNqIUNFBwF94-aujq97HyYZ6jVvw94/edit
The badfic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3940868/1/soulless_shell
Would it be okay if I do the second prompt with another author? I've created only one agent.
Regardless, it's better to ask for Permission when you have stuff like... y'know... both prompts put together.
For your first attempt (I say first because this is too incomplete to really count as an attempt), might I suggest better defining Norinj's powers? At the moment they seem kind of arbitrary and there's nothing stopping her from singing and summoning a deus ex machina when you write yourself into a corner. Complete sentences for the bio would also be a good idea.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XcCcBuoyGoECqjNqIUNFBwF94-aujq97HyYZ6jVvw94/edit?usp=sharing
Here's the prompt again. If it's not viewable, can someone tell me how to share it?
I'm planning to do the second prompt with Silenthunder together but it's gonna be incorporated into my first mission. Is that okay?
...It's literally just seven paragraphs of your agent talking, with one sentence of her brow furrowing. Not really what we're looking for at all; we want to know how well you write: dialogue, narration, character interaction, all that good stuff. This doesn't really showcase anything except your agent telling how she arrived in Headquarters. And, well, you know what they say about showing and not telling.
Did you have any betas for this, or not? Because if not, you might want to consider asking someone for help when you give this another shot.
Just write this part on one document, then you can use it for your mission after that.
For other people to see it.
As for Norinj, since I can comment on that:
What else compromises her personality besides 'curious to the point of insensitivity about things not native to her universe' and 'doesn't like things painted only in black and white'? This isn't really a personality. This just tells us two aspects. She can't be curious all the time, and that can't be as far as it goes for her, can it? This doesn't tell us very much about her except that maybe we should be expecting a flurry of questions every time she encounters something new in the PPC, which would be... all the time.
As for the ability: You say her singing creates fascimiles that behave like the originals. This is... a strange poewr, to say the least. Why would, using your example, "It Doesn't Matter" produce a copy of Sonic? Does she even know who Sonic is, or the canon? Does it create copies and versions of characters when she doesn't even know who they are? How does it create copies of locations? Is HQ at risk of somehow having a wide spath of the cafeteria suddenly replaced with part of, say, Rivendell? Or a part of Hogwarts? And she can use it to manipulate instruments?
This ability confuses me in multiple ways, and seems like it could be rather overpowered, besides the fact that it seems rather... out of place overall for the PPC.
As for the second prompt, it's best to get that sort of thing arranged with someone else prior to asking for permission.
-July
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bIK0Vh4sLFK8M-XLzr7qp9Q1G4mc6vl1M-7h0c_g8DU/edit?usp=sharing
How's this?
Okay, I'll need time to ponder how to refine her. She learned of Sonic's universe the same way all the other Agents learned of other universes; by reading, watching and playing their stories!
I should note that the facsimiles exist only for as long as she sings.
I already arranged to cowrite a mission with Silenthunder.
I don't know, maybe I'm the type of writer who doesn't know the personality of their own characters until they're writing them.
I did like your approach to your character, letting her tell the story in her own voice. Is she the type who's likely to just randomly talk about herself, or start monologing(sp?) that to anyone who asks?
Maybe you could have her type up a journal? Try at least 1000 words worth of entries, the most interesting excerpts over a couple of months. It might just end up as "for your own reference" or it might be publishable when you get permission.
I hope you get her fleshed out better.
Does each entry have to be at least a thousand words?