Glad to see tha you did pretty much all the required reading. It's good to know this stuff before joining. I should know, because it took a long time between funishing the TOS pretty much as fast as you and actually introducing myself around these parts. Spent a LOOOONG time lurking around the Wiki ...

Anyway, for your welcoming gifts, please take this Bag of Holding so that you can store the truckload of gifts you got, your very own Muggle-use wand and a Rorschach Book, which can change into virtually written text in existence in the multiverse. It works somewhat like the Room of Requirement: To use it, close your eyes holding it, think about what you wanna read and then blink three times!

And you're right, people around are indeed wonderful. This is pretty much the friendliest and most welcoming community I have ever had the pleasure of joining! :D

Also, which spin-offs with missions into HP have you read?

This magical shovel digs up...

...uh. Perfect one-meter-by-one-meter cubes of dirt?

I've been listening to Minecraft fan music don't judge me

*Hands you a plate of scones*

Don't apologize for your fandoms. Here's a Chocolate Frog, an iron ring (to punch Sue-wraiths in the face), and a City Council-approved bloodstone! You'll have to find the rest by yourself if you want to make a bloodstone circle, sadly.

Aside from one of my own shed feathers, have a wilver Fwooper and a Golden Snitch with a Poke Ball engraving!

We're glad to have you join us.

Welcome aBoard! Have this bottle of tears, courtesy of my latest Undertale playthrough.

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti! Since you've already read everything I point the newbies to, I'll just say I hope you like it here. :)

Please accept this starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiit's Tranquill!

And your starting item is:-

Sacrificial Dagger from The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth!

So... Tranquill's not great. It's another NFE mon with pretty ropey stats and a not-so-great movepool that barely features any physical Flying-type moves. Additionally, while Sac Dagger is a great defensive item and an occasionally useful offensive item - 50% chance that your opponent will take 1/8 damage to its health whenever they or you use a contact move - it's not great on Pokémon with Tranquill's nonexistent bulk. The mon's one saving grace is its ability, Super Luck, which makes everything more likely to crit. Therefore, I suggest running an offensive set with Return, Night Slash, U-Turn, and Tailwind. Or just wait for it to evolve and use it like that. Just remember to have fun. =]

Welcome to our glorious board, sloth of the feminine gender.
I have never heard of Virals in my entire life, but it's a Young Adult novel, and, as such, I'm already biased against it.
Nothing wrong with liking them. I just... am spooked by them.

My gift upon you on this (post) Valentines Day is: Chocolate sales. You know how all the chocolates get cheap the day after Valentines Day? That's me.
You're welcome.

Have some black-hole chocolates.

I'll only remind you to read the Constitution, gven the fact that you read everything else. Hope you'll like this madhouse and stick around.

Welcome, welcome, and let's hope you beat the statistics!

Here, have a cup of — no, I have no idea why there is a gerbil in your teacup, but you can have it, too.

Welcome, welcome! Make yourself comfortable. Here, have a slice of Infinite Pizza: