Please have a Bag of Holding, so you can store tge truckload of welcome gifts you're getting, your very own Muggle-use wand and a replica set of Hidden Blades!

Congratulations, felis silvestris catus of the black variety, and welcome to the PPC board, a magical part of the internet where this and that, whatnot, and what-have-you are all equally possible.
My gift to you is: the theoretical concept of twenty dollars. Just imagine, if you will, having twenty dollars, right now. Wouldn't that be brilliant?

Have a snowglobe with a replica of your favorite fictional locale inside!

Yeah, you're not the only one who cannot believe that they scrapped Young Justice! What is it with TV networks and cutting off the good cartoons? (First MegaMan NT Warrior, then Young Justice, what next? *grumble grumble*)

Welcome aBoard! Here, have this bottle of space! And all these exclamation points!

Glad Matt recommended us to you. Here's a bucket of movie-theater popcorn to eat while you read the Important Stuff on the top of the page and a pack of salmon-colored Post-It notes!

Have a Pyronomicon! It's useful for stopping flame wars. Read around, and I think that as long as you're not one of "The Black Cats", you'll be fine. Otherwise, welcome!

Welcome to the PPC, have a Ninja Space Kitten.

Please ignore the fact that it is standing in a pool of the blood of it's enemies. It does that.

Please accept this starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiiiiit's Simipour!

And your starting item is:-

Sun Ring from Darkest Dungeon

The Sun Ring is a curious item, and unsurprisingly one well-suited to Sun teams. In sunlight, it increases the Attack and Accuracy of the holder by 2 stages, though in rain it lowers both by 1. However, Simipour isn't an exceptional fit for it; being a Water-type, its STAB is weakened by Sunny Day and it's difficult to deal with, considering its physical movepool is somewhat lacking. Try an Adamant set with Aqua Tail, Crunch, Ice Punch, and Rock Slide if you're set on using the item. But just be sure to have fun. =]

Good to see you finally posting! :D

As for my gift, here's a slice of Infinite Pizza!

Since other people asked the other things, I'll just give you this mug of — no get out of there, it's for tea, not for kittens!

Aside from one of my own shed feathers, have a replica of Riptide that really turns into a ballpoint pen! :3

Have a shovel that digs up evolutionary stones!

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

Aside from the Wiki and the Constitution, which Hardric already mentioned, another useful resource you might use is

Have this pot of black-hole coffee. Hope you will enjoy it around. I also invite you to read the Original Series, the Constitution and check the Wiki to learn more about this madhouse. Enjoy.