After reading Iximaz's comments, I got to thinking about him. One thing that I always wonder about the more stoic agents, especially ones from other continua, is what motivates them to do the job. Ajax's description says he does his best to keep the canons and characters safe, but there's nothing to suggest why.

Most agents, or at least the ones from World One, get involved because they've read the books, seen the movies, etc., and are probably involved in fandom and know about badfic, too. They join up for love of canon; they put up with the weird and sometimes awful conditions of the job for love of canon.

But if you're not from World One or an analogue, you can't have grown up with these things and formed that kind of deep love for them, so what makes you care enough to put up with HQ? And if you don't appear to even be the kind of person who cares about anything at all, then what? What makes you keep doing it?

I've answered this question for all of my agents:

- Nume cares because he was a geek when it was way less cool to be a geek. He always wanted Star Trek and LotR to be real, and when he found out they were, of course he was going to stick around. Screw your so-called real life.

- Ilraen didn't have a choice. He was recruited as a bit character with next to no personality, and he was basically told "this is what you're going to be doing from now on, deal with it." At first he was only doing what he was told. Caring came later, when he saw some of the really terrible things badfic can do to other people.

- Derik has always been motivated by a duty to protect others as a dragonrider, and now he has a vendetta. A Mary Sue ruined his life, and he doesn't much care if he lives or dies as long as he gets to kill them in the process. Plus, as a harper, he's a stickler for proper speaking and writing.

- Gall is in it for the adventure. That's pretty much it. ... Okay, she doesn't like Sues, but she doesn't like anybody that inconveniences her. We're just lucky she respects her partner.

So, what about Ajax? Answering this question for him will do a world of good, I think.

~Neshomeh

*takes a look*

SPaG: Looked fine in the prompts, but needs to be cleaned up in the profiles; you had a few mistakes like not capitalizing Sues or capitalizing white out. Otherwise, green light here.

PPC Knowledge: Why does Matthew like to use C-CADs as grendes? They're known for being much more resilient to badfic than their non-combined counterparts. Why does their console play JohnTron singing for its alert? Valon and Kala's console plays a different noise (Something from Psycho, I think?) but the reason for that was given an explanation. Here, it's just... a thing. Other than that, I haven't really spotted anything. So you get a tentative green light with this, but be more mindful of that in the future, please.

Badfic: *takes a look and nopes out* You're good here.

Agents: Okay. Where do I start... how about Ajax.

"Ajax doesn’t quite look like it, but he is a badass. The sues he has slain certainly know this, given in his solo mission he wore a cloak and wielded a scythe upon execution of said sues."

I'm... honestly not sure if you're trying to write a parody here. First off, the fact that you feel the need to tell us your agent is a badass sends up a red flag, because we're supposed to take your word at face value rather than let him demonstrate his badassery for himself. Not only that, but the main focus on him as a character seems to be less on his personality and more on 'look at what cool powers and stuff he has!' His character seems to begin and end with 'badass'

Matthew is a lot better developed (I'm guessing because he sounds like he's supposed to represent you?), so not really a whole lot to say on him other than good job here. I would like to point out that "Matthew has severe ADHD; reading about how Sues screw over his favorite characters doesn’t help." kind of makes me tilt my head and go 'huh?' because, speaking as someone who does have ADHD, I seriously cannot see the correlation between these two.

Prompts: "Stuck in a Tree" was... odd. The fact that Matthew got stuck in a tree for apparently no reason (and this is even acknowledged in the story itself!) and feels like it was just Ajax doing random things because... reasons. I've read it three times and I still can't figure out what was going on with it.

The second prompt was alright, though the console thing was still strange.

One last note: the format on your agents' profile pages made reading about them way more difficult than it had to be, needing to scroll up and down and up and down just to read about them. I still can't figure out what "DetBdaJhg" and "KniHamSav" are even supposed to be. Yes, you left a footnote saying it was a reference to the Periodic Table of Storytelling, but that still tells me diddly squat.

So, sorry, but Permission is denied.

Some final thoughts: Ajax is what really killed this for me. Put a lot more work into developing him and I think your next shot will be better.

*blows dust of PG Hat* *tests* Huh. Seems okay. Right then!

Notes taken as I read:

Agent Profiles

- RC# G37-R3K7-M8

Erm, the 1337 is mildly amusing, but RCs have to be numbers. They can CONTAIN letters, but they really ought to start off with numbers. The agents can always put up a sign that says "get rekt mate" in 1337 if they want to, though.

- But as he kept walking and the blizzard started clearing up he noticed that he wasn’t in the same town he grew up in. Apparently the snowstorm had spawned a plothole that led straight to Upstairs.

This line reads a little funny to me, mostly because "not in the same town" seems to imply "in a different town," and Upstairs isn't a town at all.

- severe ADHD

Urgh, this rarely bodes well. I get that Matthew is a self-insert, but I fear Random Wacky Shenanigans For No Reason.

- Also, DoSAT is seriously considering blacklisting him for his habit of using C-CADs as grenades.

You know that C-CADs were specifically designed to explode LESS than regular CADs, right?

- Ajax is a Psychopomp Commerce Deity, Hermes, a Water/Dark attribute God/Attacker type monster from the Puzzle & Dragons series.

That is sure a lot of descriptors. From reading on, though, do I take it that he's not actually a version of the god, Hermes?

- Dat RC. When most agents are stuck in what's essentially a dorm room, how in the heck do these guys rate enough space for FOUR game tables, not to mention what looks like a full kitchen? O.o

Control Prompt

- RC G37-R3K7-M8 was about the size of a classroom

Again, how? Why?

- “LET’S GOOOO!” He ran towards where the portal was…but promptly ran into the wall, as the portal hadn’t actually generated yet. “Ow.”

And there's the Random Wacky Shenanigans I feared. Serious question: have you ever actually run into a wall?

Random Prompt

You lost me when the tree spouted a geyser. So, Matt's stuck in a tree, and Ajax turns the inside of the tree into water and gets inside it, and then the tree explodes, and... what? Is Ajax where Matt is now, or is he still lower down? I guess he has to be on Matt's level, or else the water slide would be no help, but there's no description, so it took me way too long to figure that out.

Also, random caps on baby elephant.

Analysis

Your writing is basically okay—a few minor errors here and there, but nothing practice won't fix—and I don't see anything awfully concerning about the characters as written, as long as the Random Wacky Shenanigans For No Reason are kept to a minimum.

What concerns me, however, is your level of PPC knowledge. I think you ought to read some more missions, preferably some of the older ones that helped establish HQ and particularly the story that introduced the C-CAD. Then, once the errors are fixed, try again.

Therefore, Permission Denied for Now.

~Neshomeh

You need to share the control prompt, Mattman. I get a "request permission to view" page when clickling the link.