A block of cheese, you say?

Subject: A block of cheese, you say?
Author: Huinesoron
Posted on: 2015-11-27 16:16:00 UTC

Agent Sandra levelled a severe look at her temporary partner. "And what," she demanded, "do you call that?"

Agent Camembert said nothing.

Sandra folded her arms. "It's no good sulking at me," she said. "That disaster, that... debacle, was entirely your fault."

Agent Camembert said nothing.

"Don't give me that skeptical look!" Sandra objected. "If you had a problem with my plan, you should've said so when I suggested it! Letting me run headlong into danger is just... well, it's unprofessional, that's what it is!"

Agent Camembert said nothing.

"Fine! Give me the silent treatment if you like; it won't change anything. You just wait till the Flowers get my report." Sandra stalked over to the RC door and dragged it open. "You'd better hope we never get paired up again: I swear, I'll use you as bait."

Agent Camembert said nothing.

Sandra marched out into the corridor, paused, then stuck her head back into the RC. "And as a weapon," she declared, then slammed the door behind her.

Agent Camembert said nothing, but did fall off the table.

Sandra shoved the door back open. "And as a snack!" she yelled, and stormed off.

~

Agent Camembert is free-to-use. They can join Agent Cold in the 'what in the world?!' section of the Wiki. ^_^

hS

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Of agent requirements by Random silverfish on 2015-11-27 11:41:00 UTC Reply

I have a question again.

What exactly is the standard for recruiting an PPC agent?

I mean, apart from some of the obvious requirements like not being a Sue/Stu or a fanbrat, having good writing skills, able to handle explicit badfics.......

But is there a requirement for minimum ages?

Yep, having underage kids sent into potentially dangerous continnums and expecting them to kill Sues/Stus are probably too much even for the standard of Flowers, but I just wonder if there is actually a minimum age requirement.

Like, if an recruit is only fourteen or fifteen, is it totally impossible for them to become an PPC agent, or do they have to show qualities or abilities of a certain standard?

I haven't seen an age requirement mentioned anywhere... by ratbrainbasher on 2015-11-29 04:45:00 UTC Reply

...but, yes, there are standards. (I don't know, are there?)

The requirements are essentially: Able to serve some purpose within the PPC, willingness to not burn the Flowers, and willingness to get horribly killed in some fashion (For the action departments, at least). I doubt the PPC would put a six/seven year old in the literal line of fire, but if they happen to be a math genius or something, well, there's always room in finance!

So, no, I would not say there is an age requirement for joining the PPC proper, considering that virtually every department is short-staffed. Look at WWII, the US started recruiting little kids to collect scrap and do other odd jobs. Unless you count tetanus, it's a non-dangerous job. I doubt the PPC would reject volunteer help, even from a child (Depending on the job, of course.)

This actually ties into another discussion I saw once, about the minimum drinking age in HQ. The general consensus (Last I checked) was that anyone old enough to fight is old enough to drink.

Whoops by Void Stuff on 2015-12-03 17:18:00 UTC Reply

I actually intended to post that on the main thread... ah well, never mind. ^^'
Related question... by Void Stuff on 2015-12-03 17:16:00 UTC Reply

How would such age requirements apply to children from the Nursery? I know that there are quite a few accounts of Nursery-raised children going on to become full-fledged agents, but most of them seem to be somewhat unclear/contradictory about the exact age are they generally allowed to start interning/working in the field, so I'm quite curious.

Age would depend on species wouldn't it? by cattomboy/jebboy on 2015-11-28 05:26:00 UTC Reply

I mean with so many species being a part of PPC I'm sure that would be taken into consideration with any possible minimum age.
I mean take for example the Gem vs Human life spans in Steven Universe. They've all lived through most of human history and to them childhood can last hundreds of years compared to the traditional child until 18 years old in American culture.

Yeah, which is probably why... by Iximaz on 2015-11-28 05:38:00 UTC Reply

...most writers specify what their agent's human-age-equivalence is; one of my agents, for example, is a Pokémon who only recently turned three, but he's got the mentality of a human teenager (something like 18-19).

So it's not so much what their physical age is as it is their mental age; the Flowers want to make sure they're mature enough to cope with badfic or not.

Not only on species. by Sergio Turbo on 2015-11-28 11:54:00 UTC Reply

The adulthood (or at least old enough age) to work depends on the setting too.

Take Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha. Depending on your maturity and capabilities, you might be old enough to work as a field agent at just nine (and, in fact, there are some characters in that universe that do).

The standard is.. by JulyFlame on 2015-11-27 16:06:00 UTC Reply

"Will this have the PGs or other boarders running in one direction or the other?"

That's the only real requirement. You could have an agent be a block of cheese if you chose as long as you could make it work.

A block of cheese, you say? by Huinesoron on 2015-11-27 16:16:00 UTC Reply

Agent Sandra levelled a severe look at her temporary partner. "And what," she demanded, "do you call that?"

Agent Camembert said nothing.

Sandra folded her arms. "It's no good sulking at me," she said. "That disaster, that... debacle, was entirely your fault."

Agent Camembert said nothing.

"Don't give me that skeptical look!" Sandra objected. "If you had a problem with my plan, you should've said so when I suggested it! Letting me run headlong into danger is just... well, it's unprofessional, that's what it is!"

Agent Camembert said nothing.

"Fine! Give me the silent treatment if you like; it won't change anything. You just wait till the Flowers get my report." Sandra stalked over to the RC door and dragged it open. "You'd better hope we never get paired up again: I swear, I'll use you as bait."

Agent Camembert said nothing.

Sandra marched out into the corridor, paused, then stuck her head back into the RC. "And as a weapon," she declared, then slammed the door behind her.

Agent Camembert said nothing, but did fall off the table.

Sandra shoved the door back open. "And as a snack!" she yelled, and stormed off.

~

Agent Camembert is free-to-use. They can join Agent Cold in the 'what in the world?!' section of the Wiki. ^_^

hS

My point is proved. by JulyFlame on 2015-11-27 16:29:00 UTC Reply

Though you stuck me as a cheddar sort.

^_^ by Huinesoron on 2015-11-27 16:33:00 UTC Reply

(Actually I don't like cheese at all. 'Camembert' just sounds like the right sort of name for an agent.)

(Also, Cheddar Gorge is on the edge of Chew Valley, and I will never knowingly go back there. It was hard enough to escape the first time--!)

(hS)

Well... by JulyFlame on 2015-11-27 16:39:00 UTC Reply

I did say stuck for a reason. :)

Yep, this definitely works. by Desdendelle on 2015-11-27 16:20:00 UTC Reply

It's rather funny. I do suspect it'd get old quickly, though.

They said that... by Huinesoron on 2015-11-27 16:28:00 UTC Reply

... about 'Jay and Acacia wander around and then kill someone', and we're still here. ;)

Morgan crouched down behind the rock. The Suvian was sitting by the waterfall (of course), brushing her hair (of course) and singing (of course). "On my mark," the Time Lady whispered. "You ready?"

Agent Camembert said nothing.

"That's what I like about you," Morgan murmured. "The professionalism. Hey, I don't suppose I could get you to join the Continuity Council, could I? Maybe as a non-Gallifreyan specialist?"

Agent Camembert said nothing.

Morgan chuckled. "No, there's no getting one over on you." She shook herself and checked her pistol. "Okay. On three, then. One... two... three!"

The shout echoed around the clearing. The Suvian's head jerked up. And Agent Camembert tumbled from the tree branch and rolled across the grass, coming to a rest at her feet.

"Hmm?" The Suvian bent down and prodded Agent Camembert. "What's this? It's a bit smelly."

Agent Camembert said nothing.

"That, my dear, is an agent of the PPC." Morgan rose up, pistol held in a steady two-handed grip. "And the best distraction I have ever known. You want to do the honours, Camembert?"

Agent Camembert said nothing.

"See that focus?" Morgan said admiringly to the bewildered Suvian. "That's what makes- but why am I talking to you?" Dropping one hand from her pistol, she flicked open a notebook and began to read the charges...

You were saying? :D

hS

My question is... by Iximaz on 2015-11-27 17:33:00 UTC Reply

How long can Camembert last before spoiling?

When Agent Camembert spoils, it's not rot. by Scapegrace on 2015-11-28 20:47:00 UTC Reply

It's SNAPE KILLS--

No. People will disagree with me. by Huinesoron on 2015-11-27 14:12:00 UTC Reply

I know that, because they have before on this exact question.

But no. We've had baseline human agents recruited as young as 11 before now. There is a long, long tradition of people sometimes writing agents the same age as themselves, which even by July's stringent requirement that everyone (lie and claim to) be 13 before joining the Board, means you can have agents who are too young to even be thinking about university.

Also: yes, they have to show 'qualities... of a certain standard'. They have to be willing to join the PPC. That's about it. ;)

hS

I am very wary of crossing CIPA/COPPA. by JulyFlame on 2015-11-27 14:33:00 UTC Reply

Considering that it crosses lines to be collecting information from under 13s.

Besides, everyone knows the survey isn't entirely accurate.
After all, how many starfish do we really have on the Board, anyways?

Fi-- no, four. by Huinesoron on 2015-11-27 14:57:00 UTC Reply

I forgot that one of the starfish left. ^_~

Don't worry, I know why you're doing it.

hS

Still prudent to explain for others! (nm) by JulyFlame on 2015-11-27 15:41:00 UTC Reply

Balderdash. by Huinesoron on 2015-11-27 15:43:00 UTC Reply

Explain nothin', that's my motto!

hS, clearly parodying something but haven't decided what yet

Yourself perhaps? by JulyFlame on 2015-11-27 16:16:00 UTC Reply

Mister Explains The PPC's Background?

Is there really something like that? by Matt Cipher on 2015-11-27 12:06:00 UTC Reply

I think the only requirement is, 'don't be OP'

We have agents that are former Sues, underage... yeah, I don't think this chaotic bunch of merry misfits (AKA the PPC) has a lot of requirements for its employees :P