Things You Are Thankful Never Made It On the Internet

Things You Are Thankful Never Made It On the Internet by Mattman The Comet on 2015-10-30 15:05:00 UTC

*cracks knuckles* by cattomboy/jebboy on 2015-11-08 19:02:00 UTC Reply

Oh where do I start?

- A fanfic where 8 canon female characters go on a journey with Sora and get their own keyblades. The story was their boyfriends and friends are getting kidnapped for being 'Princes of heart' by "Feelers" a rip off of heartless and nobodies who were made out of the feelings of someone who died.
At one point one canon female was just tossed onto the ship with memory loss. I never got far in it thank goodness.
- Really early designs of some of my ocs.
- A fanfic where every mafia related anime character meet up in a meeting to hang out. There would then be a murder and Li'en and Wonrei from Gash/Zatch Bell were going to solve it with a detective so underdeveloped I never described anything but their tench coat.
So many half-written stories. by Neshomeh on 2015-11-02 19:02:00 UTC Reply

Not to mention the stuff I never wrote down, like my fantasy of becoming Aragorn's apprentice by finding him injured somewhere and nursing him back to health in Bree, thus proving how competent and useful I could be. Obviously Aragorn can take care of himself, but that doesn't mean he should have to, right?

At least I was never a luster by nature...

~Neshomeh
Hoo boy... by GlarnBouin on 2015-11-02 17:24:00 UTC Reply

Carnage was a complete MESS when I first thought him up. He actually started out as a Gary Stu self-insert of myself in a Magic School Bus fic. Yes, really.

The gist of it was that he was turned into a Megalania during a canonical episode involving reptiles, then all of the other students turned into kaiju. He got thrown into a volcano, where he found a giant ruby that controlled the element of fire (Yes, really) and was appointed its guardian by some kinda spirit-I guess that it was the Earth, but I'm not sure.

Anywho, Carnage got transformed into a giant dragon that could turn invisible, fly faster than the speed of light, and was somehow able to terraform Mars with the help of Calvin and Hobbes.

I wish I was making this up.
The second iteration of Sergio Turbo the self-insert. by Sergio Turbo on 2015-11-02 09:43:00 UTC Reply

Ok, actually the first if you consider what I call "first" wasn't even named that way (and was a character I came up with at five years old, so I never wrote anything on paper and if I did it's long disappeared into the trash bin).

I think I still have his old stories around in my PC somewhere, I have wondered if I should kill him for good or not.

... The bad thing is, I made more of him, and all the other ones got published.

*shudders*
When I was young... by LonelyStar on 2015-11-02 06:11:00 UTC Reply

I had a Yu-Gi-Oh (the game, not the manga) phase, and I made a homebrew card for it. It was basically a Magic Rainbow Queen who had way higher attack and defense than any other card.

... I was really little, okay?

Other Sues by LonelyStar on 2015-11-02 06:13:00 UTC Reply

I also did a lot of Tenth Walker-type Sues, the ones who follow the hero through the story and are super special and all that, but don't change how things happen. However, I can't really remember most of them. The Yu-Gi-Oh Sue was the one I really remembered, and it was the worst, because I actually tried to make that card, as opposed to the others that I just kept in my imagination.

My MLP OC was 2 op 4 Twily (nm) (nm) by Lunar Dusk on 2015-11-02 01:37:00 UTC Reply
That time I tried to cross over Pokemon and World One. by eatpraylove on 2015-11-01 14:11:00 UTC Reply

I swear, that damn first chapter went through five different rewrites (the last one including Shadow Pokemon, of all things) before I just said "Screw it, deeman45 did it better and there's no way I can do this without all three of them being Sues."
Shameful 'Sues by Dorano on 2015-10-30 22:03:00 UTC Reply

There's so many...*shivers*

The worst one is the ridiculously OP Jedi who was trained by Dooku until he turned to the Dark Side, then found out and ran back to the Jedi, where she was trained by Yoda "to counter the darkness within her". Then Order 66 happened, she went to Dagobah with Yoda, and eventually went back in time to the Clone Wars to hijack the aid of Anakin Skywalker and the 501st. The only good thing is that she died at the end.

...what even was I thinking. What. Honestly. What.
(I'm so glad I hadn't heard of FF.net at that point...)

I made an angster. A prophecized one. by Silenthunder on 2015-10-31 01:11:00 UTC Reply

A Sue from the Warriors series in my first fanfic. She was named Silentflame, was involved in a prophecy, had a special moon-shaped mark on her forehead, was trained by the Dark Forest yet didn't turn completely evil (okay, that one has happened to a few canon characters, so...), got her prefix of Night- replaced with Silent- after a throat injury which made her incapable of speaking except one word at a time, became an apprentice early, was singled out by the Dark Forest for training, became an orphan after her mother was exiled by the stupid Clan leader and her father went crazy and was fooled into killing himself....

Yeah. Oh, and she decided to name her one stillborn kit Nightkit. You know, to signify how her happy past was dead to her. And thus she became completely goth and joined the Dark Forest. And that's as far as I got.

One important note: She didn't end up in ThunderClan, where most Sues from the Warriors continuum go. She was in ShadowClan. But she was still kind of a Sue. I'll have to run her through a Mary-Sue test to make doubly sure.

I wrote a truckload of uncanonical relatives by James Shields on 2015-10-31 14:38:00 UTC Reply

It was Digimon Takari fic, but the only canons in it were T.K. , Kari, Patamon and Gatomon. The rest of the characters were all Suvian non-canon children and grandchildren. Thank Azulongmon that I only ever wrote that on paper and that it never made it to my computer.

Ohhh boy, where do I start? by Iximaz on 2015-10-31 16:28:00 UTC Reply

When I was seven, I played a lot of make-believe Harry Potter. Most consistently, I was Lupin's long-lost daughter who went on to become the fourth member of the Golden Trio. And I was a werewolf, of course.

But there was one make-believe that I absolutely loved. I was a half-human, half-Hungarian Horntail (no, please don't ask how that worked, I was just a kid and didn't understand these things. Let's go with magic), hatched from an egg on the Romanian dragon reserve, found by Charlie Weasley, and raised by the rest of the Weasleys as Ron's twin sister.

Oh, and I looked something like this, only more Horntail-y. Of course, I could fly, and breathe fire, and tagged along for the rest of the trio's adventures, was the second Chosen One because Reasons, became the fifth Triwizard Champion, blah-de-blah. I believe speaking to animals was in there as well as super-strength and enhanced senses.

I wrote down bits of the make-believe, but thank all the authors, those early fanfics-from-before-I-knew-fanfiction are long since lost. *shudders*

The only thing that kept me... by Mattman The Comet on 2015-10-31 17:11:00 UTC Reply

...From getting the stuff on the internet was lack of the ability to... digitize is the best way I can state it... it, and upload the stuff.

8 year old mean had no idea what The Birds & The Bees talk, yet he shipped things like there was no tomorrow. God help young!me. Please. He needs it.

The piece of tripe from which I got Mia. by Alleb on 2015-11-01 02:26:00 UTC Reply

Oh, what to say of myself? It was horrible. Absolutely atrocious. Mia was a seven-year-old genius who had a Circlet of Power (I didn't even have the sense to make it a ring) sunk into her head, literally, by Sauron; was sent to Middle-earth; learned Westron in weeks; and was also visited by VARDA HERSELF IN A DREAM.

I cannot comprehend myself.

Thankfully, I never finished the story. I had planned on Mia being sent on the Quest for Erebor (at seven) then going back out into Middle-earth every five years until she was thirty-five; at that point she would become a Tenth Walker Boromance. Oh, and she would be a jaded soldier who lost a leg in Desert Storm, but she neglects to tell the Fellowship about that tiny detail.

Best part about this? The overarching plot was that Sauron was exposing her to all the heartbreak in Arda, because for some reason he could only harness the power in the Circlet when she cried. Yes, cried. Don't ask, I have no idea.

So... yeah, I'm really glad that story never got on the Internet. Really glad.

-Alleb

My stuffed wombat ate Sid's eyes. (nm) by Scapegrace on 2015-11-01 11:17:00 UTC Reply