Dumbledore arrives;
Agents hope - but he's bad too.
The chapter ends (phew!).

Next genre: Slapstick Comedy.

Alternate 'that's not a genre' prompt: Sci-Fi.

(We are now on the last chapter. Come on, folks, we can do this!)

hS

This one's had some bugs I wasn't expecting, mainly because of how the first one ran so relatively well.

I had to give up after five minutes, because I’m unable to read the badfic; it makes my brain bleed.

HG

Silent movie... okay, potentially specialized, but less so. I definitely would have taken it if I'd checked the Board earlier. Pretty fun.

~DF

See, I mainly just know some HTML and whatever code the wiki uses, plus tiny things here and there that are good for other websites. I know enough to make things work and play around with things (broken URLs, various things in WordPress), stuff like that--but I've never written a computer program, and have barely the idea of a clue of where to start. So it's less that this one scared me off as that I literally can't do it without first taking a course in computer programming or doing a *lot* of research.

So, uh, yeah. Some less specialized genres could be useful :) I've definitely enjoyed reading what's been done so far, though.

~DF

Considering my mom's currently working on her degree in computer programming and the most experience I have with that is listening to her scream at her homework... yeah, it kind of scared me off. ^^;

Wish I hadn’t read that fic. I keep making typos, now . . .

> > > PLAY

“Hang on, Crissy!” The view of the camera’s video display suddenly went from darkness to colors, as the camera was swung up by the hand of whoever had recorded it. “I want to get this on video.”

The person in the foreground—Crissy, apparently—slowly turned towards the camera with an irritated look. “May I ask whatever for?”

“For posterity! We’ll be able to look back when we’re older on the fond memories we forged—”

“In a trollfic?”

As the two humans bickered, the background slowly resolved into better focus. Even then, it seemed incredibly unclear. The location seemed to be made of some grey matter with random bricks stuck in the wall here and there. There were torches high up on the walls, which gave off a dull red glow despite lacking any actual flame. There were indistinct robed humanoids sitting at tables, watching the arguing humans, but—

The faces of a spider and fiery demon suddenly dominated the entire view screen, and the one watching flinched, nearly dropping the camera.

“Agh! Don’t eat my camera! Blasted minis!” From the way the camera suddenly jerked, the holder seemed to have nudged the new creatures away. “Just do it, Cris!”

“Fine.” Cris turned her back to the camera and advanced on the seated people, waving a book over her head. “We command this troll to leave this world! The power of Rowling compels you!”

“Avaunt!” said the camera-person. “No trolls in the dungeons today. Or anywhere else on school grounds, for that matter!”

A dark, but strangely reflective, smoke began to settle over the room. The camera began to turn rapidly back and forth.

“Ugh,” came Cris’s muffled voice. “The troll essence was everywhere in this fic.”

“But where’s the troll?” The camera suddenly stopped on a shadowy figure close by in the smoke. “Uh. Crissy?”

The figure lunged at the camera, and a big, green humanoid appeared briefly before the camera began shaking horribly. The one holding the camera screamed. Then, there was a crash, and color returned to the scene. The camera’s image refocused as it accounted for the sudden sunlight. The big green one rose above the camera and snarled. Behind it, a gaping hole showed where the big thing had pushed the camera holder out through the wall of the now fully distinct building—a castle of some kind.

The troll raised its fists above it, but stopped when the camera-person said, “How does that feel?”

The troll gave a rather hilariously perplexed expression, then bellowed as said fists began smoking. It tried to shield its head, but smoke began to appear all over its body.

“You are charged with trolling the Harry Potter universe and fandom, with giving Remus Lupin a nonsensical backstory, with kidnapping a villain out of The Lord of the Rings, with making enough typos to—Woops. Guess that’s the end.” The troll had completely dissolved into ash.

Cris appeared in the gaping hole. “These guys are coming to, so let’s use Reparo on the wall and get going. I already sent Saruman back home, though that might have been pointless if he’s in the sequel, too.”

The camera view jerked just slightly. “Sequel? This thing has a sequel?”

The human in view shrugged. She pulled out a wooden stick and climbed out through the hole. “Let’s just get it over with. But first, Accio camcorder!”

The viewpoint suddenly and quickly flipped around, somehow being in Cris’s grip now, with the former holder, another human, laying on a buttress of the castle and covered in dust. “Hey!” yelled the prone human, just before her face whizzed away, the camera showing a rotating view of castle walls alternating with the blue of the sky and the green of grass. (And a final, distant audio recording of Cris saying, “That shouldn’t even work at Hogwarts, anyways.") Then, the screen went black.

[] STOP

The one viewing the video slowly let its arm drop to its side. What the hell did I just watch? wondered Slender Man, still none the wiser as to why humans always seemed to be waving cameras around, and still short twenny dollas. It dropped the camera under a tree and wandered away.

Had it stayed a little longer, it would have seen the video viewer suddenly start playing again.

> > > PLAY

The camera lay on its side, grass on the left side, the edge of the castle at the bottom. A breeze stirred the grass, and a bit of blackish ash was swirled up into the air . . . into the shape of a trollish face.

“Ill bee bach”

[] STOP

The next writing prompt is: Manga/Anime style!
OR alternate super challenge prompt: math textbook style!
qwerty

Welcome back to Brain versus Fic. Before the break, Cris was beginning to feel the pressure:

---

"This is stupid." said Cris.

Cris was not nice. That was a Bad Thing.

---

While Myall was warming to her new body:

---

"Well, hello," came a deep voice. It was attached to a very attractive smile.

---

But what happens when their progress on the Hogwarts Express gets halted?

---

[We cut to a green, slightly-faded night-vision camera. It's giving an extreme close-up of Cris's face, which ought to give everyone something to watch.]

"Okay, so here's the thing. We were travelling on the Hogwarts Express - next carriage along with a glass pressed to the wall because someone can't cast a Supersensory Charm with a Muggle-Use Wand - but now we've stopped. The not!McGonagall said something about an attack, but for all I know it might have been a conversation about the contents of her attic, God the SPaG in this place is atrocious. Wait. Hold up. Myall, do you hear that?"

[Shakycam moving over to the door, where male!Myall is leaning out to look at something in the corridor. This should also give people something to look at.]

"Myall? Myall, what's up?"

[Myall turns around. Bumbeldore and Bumbelfore the mini-Aragogs are hanging from her sleeve.]

[MYALL, slightly pained] "You, er, you wouldn't happen to have any bacon, would you? Or possibly a crowbar? No, that was someone else..."

[Cris sighs and tugs the two minis off Myall's arm, portalling them efficiently to the HFA]

[MYALL, less pained] "Thanks. I was trying to get a CAD reading on the Dumbledore replacement - must be getting a bit cramped in there, not that I'd mind getting crammed next to Remus Lupin - but he's also sort of stuck in a tannoy system, which this thing doesn't have, and then he was outside fighting some weird OC called Mouldermort, who's Voldemort's father in defiance of both canon and sanity, and then I think spacetime went a bit... odd."

[CRIS] "You're rambling a bit."

[MYALL, looking rather white.] "Yeah, my CAD melted and, um, I don't think the fumes agree with me - oh, uh, uh-oh-"

[We cut to a little while later, with a proper camera; Cris is trying to brush the sick off Myall's robes. A large fluffy boom mic is in shot, which the agents are doing their best to ignore.]

"Are you feeling any better?"

"I think I ran out of lunch to make reappear, if that's what you mean."

"Good." Cris rummaged in her bag. "I've still got my CAD, so we should be alright. Now, what did we pack for snacks? I'm not going to trust the food in a fic like this, no matter whether or not it's Generic."

[A PACKAGE appears by plothole, courtesy of their console.]

"What the..." Myall poked the large box. "Where in the name of sanity did that come from?"

"Australia, according to the tag on the outside. It says it's got lunch points for the Cafeteria in it - OH SWEET MONKEY CHRIST!"

"Shh! Shh! Don't alarm the Sues, the - oh. Oh, dear, turns out I had more lunch left in me after all. Welp, soon fix that!"

[We cut to a close-up of the parcel's contents - a heapin' helpin' of witchetty grubs, bogong moths, and other sundry, wriggly, crawly delights]

---

Will the agents be able to earn enough lunch tokens from the Fictucker Trial? Will Agent Wirewood be made to drink her own urine for different reasons than normal this time? Find out after the break on Brain versus Fic.

---

Next genre: Video nasty!