(( I was looking at the neural-net generated fanfic summaries, and this idea jumped into my head, so let's go. ))
The Perfect Cow by alafaye Tomash
Severus and Hermione start a horcruxes
There was a knock on Severus Snape's office door.
"Come in," he said, setting down the essay he was grading.
The door opened, and a bushy-haired sixth year Gryffindor stepped in somewhat hesitantly.
"Ah. Miss… Granger. What do you want?" Professor Snape said coldly.
"I was doing some research, Professor—"
Of course you were."—and I had a rather theoretical question. About Horcruxes."
A moment of shock crossed the Professor's face before he composed himself. "And where did you hear of those, Miss Granger?"
"The Restricted Section, Professor."
Snape glared at her. "Do not lie to me. There are no works on Horcruxes in the Restricted Section."
Because I personally made sure there were none once the Headmaster said he had removed them.Hermione blushed slightly. "Well, Dumbledore told Harry that Voldemort had made Horcruxes, and he asked me to do some research. I couldn't really find anything—"
"Good."
"—but I do know that the idea is that, by doing something terrible, you split your soul, and then somehow put one of the pieces into an object, which makes you immortal unless the extra piece is destroyed."
"Yes, and?"
"I was wondering if you have to be human to make a Horcrux. Could a house-elf split their soul? Or a cow?"
"A
cow, Miss Granger?"
"It was an example..." Hermione trailed off.
"I see," said Snape, somewhat dubious. "Why did you think to ask me this?"
"Well, sir," Hermione said, "you
are the Defense Professor."
"So I am. But such questions are more a matter for the Department of Mysteries."
Hermione nodded.
"Now, do you have any other inane questions with which to waste my time? Whether ants can make wards, perhaps?"
"No, Professor. Thank you." Hermione quickly left the office.
Hermione made her way back to the Common Room, somewhat disappointed that she couldn't get the answer she was looking for. On the way there, however, she remembered that she did, after all, know someone from the Department of Mysteries. Well, "know" wasn't quite right. The man had come to talk to her last summer about keeping what she'd seen in the Department quiet. He'd been rather creative with the threats, and he had asked her to keep an ear out for anything the Department might be interested in.
It was a long shot, Hermione knew, but, as she settled down in front of the fire, she thought she'd try anyway. She pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill and began writing:
Dear Mr. Brown,
I've got a theoretical question about Horcruxes…(( - Tomash ))
