Subject: Happy birthday (nm)
Author:
Posted on: 2017-06-24 06:15:00 UTC
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Birthday interlude! by
on 2017-06-23 18:01:00 UTC
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Because since I'm turning 24 today, then so is my PPC self-insert. :D
(Warning: Spoilers for some of my future PPC writing plans wherein!) -
Happy very belated birthday. by
on 2017-07-02 12:43:00 UTC
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While I’m here, I spotted a tiny mistake in one of the previous interludes, "Illogic Bomb":
Ripper accidentally tipped his bowl and spilled a bit his drink onto the table.
I guess this should be "a bit of his drink".
And in the current birthday interlude:
... my author decided I was best suited to Remnant in light my characterization.
Shouldn’t this be "in light of my characterization"?
— a sectioned bo staff staff like Nami’s —
I may be wrong, but I don’t believe that a "bo staff staff" is a thing in any word world.
“Hey, good to see you again!” he said, beaming.
I guess "he" is Chris talking from the console, but using his name instead of "he" would make this clearer; there’s a confusing lot of people around.
I’m looking forward to getting the still spoilery answers to the quetions I would like to ask from your future writing.
HG -
All fixed, thank you! ^_^ (nm) by
on 2017-07-04 17:24:00 UTC
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Happy belated birthday! (nm) by
on 2017-06-30 08:41:00 UTC
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Happy belated birthday! (nm) by
on 2017-06-26 16:03:00 UTC
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A belated Happy Birthday to you! (nm) by
on 2017-06-26 01:32:00 UTC
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Belated happy birthday! (nm) by
on 2017-06-25 07:22:00 UTC
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Happy belated birthday! by
on 2017-06-25 06:35:00 UTC
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Didn't post earlier because I have reactions to the interlude:
- The pun in the title was good
- That subtitle is reassuring, somehow
- I can see why Ripper would go for that birthday present, going off of species
- I like the description of Ripper's "don't ask" look
- "What to do with the meat" is going to be a running theme, I expect
- I'm not, in general, a fan of Rashida being insulting and such, but character flaws are important things, so let's consider just a snapshot of my opinion
- There's a "Rosh" in there somewhere. Typo?
- The exposition-bearing dialogue about various peoples' species was well done
- Ok, I'm now slightly confused [at the part where everyone meets Lilac]. Is Rashida in the RC or not? And whose voice was coming from in there?
- Falc, what in the world did you mean by that "supposed to be"? ... Well, whatever you were getting at, some sort displeased reaction was totally called for there on Lilac's part
- "...won't have you upstaging..." seemed like a noticeable shift from Falchion being super-apologetic a moment ago, but that could just be me
- I can feel the interleaved, swirling conversation after Chris phones in, so if that's what you wanted to represent, you've done it
- Everyone's rather aware of the fourth wall. I can't seem to put my finger on if the specifics of that awareness are unusual or not. If it works, it works, though.
- [around when Valon gets in] Wow, there's a massive pile of characters in this thing
- Falchion is rather insistent on keeping this about him (not a criticism, really, but an observation)
- The knife is a nice present
- Either that kiss was came somewhat out of nowhere or it was set up in something of yours I haven't read.
- Threats of a shield-hammer seem appropriate under the circumstances
- Not having cake can be a logistical challenge
- That does sound like a good birthday thing
- Meat situation is still somewhat unresolved, semi-disappointingly, but the bit about cooking was funny
- I like the bit near the end with Rayner and E.V.L. It was funny.
General thoughts are that this was conversation heavy, but it's an interlude, so that's sort of expected. The long speech was well done as far as long speeches ago.
Hope this isn't too confusing and maybe even helpful.
- Tomash -
A much-belated thank you! :D by
on 2017-06-28 14:54:00 UTC
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- Ripper's gift is supposed to be an indication that he's still getting the hang of PPC social customs, even after all this time, and probably never will entirely gel with the human ones at least. It's inspired by some depictions of theropod dinosaurs offering meat or carcasses to potential mates, so as to avoid violence during courtship (the T. rex "date"
from Walking With Dinosaurs is a good example). I too am slightly disappointed that I didn't get to do more with this gag, but I may reserve the meat itself as a Chekov's Gun of sorts for a later date.
- Rosh is actually Falchion's new nickname for Rashida (I have to thank Dalton for coming up with that one). And Rashida's growing out of her habit of being mean is definitely intended as part of her character development. She's absent from the RC in this scene, though, so it's Lilac who's talking.
- I guess the moment Falchion realized it was his birthday, his mind defaulted to a slight "It's All About Me" mentality, something which I myself am guilty of from time to time. It's a bit inconsistent, sure, but it fits us both. XD
- I wasn't planning on including Valon and Kala, but since Voyd was online at the same time as eatpraylove and I when we were writing the interlude, I decided it would be neat to ask if he was willing to have them included and I'm glad I did. :)
- Lilac's smooch isn't entirely out of nowhere, but mum's the word about the build-up to that. I will however say that it's the first of a few clues to her origin that I'll be scattering throughout my writings about her once I properly introduce her to the PPC. I will ALSO say that her in-universe debut was in late 2016, shortly after a certain thing I have planned for Falchion and co. that I'm not going to spoil. ;)
Thanks again, both for your feedback and the birthday wishes! *hugs*
- Ripper's gift is supposed to be an indication that he's still getting the hang of PPC social customs, even after all this time, and probably never will entirely gel with the human ones at least. It's inspired by some depictions of theropod dinosaurs offering meat or carcasses to potential mates, so as to avoid violence during courtship (the T. rex "date"
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Happy birthday (nm) by
on 2017-06-24 06:15:00 UTC
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Happy birthday! *gives cake* (nm) by
on 2017-06-23 23:04:00 UTC
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Happy Birthday! (nm) by
on 2017-06-23 20:23:00 UTC
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Happy Birthday! (nm) by
on 2017-06-23 19:41:00 UTC
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