Subject: You aren't.
Author:
Posted on: 2017-06-09 06:00:00 UTC
I think this is a very good turnout for the Labour party, all things considered. However, we comprehensively failed to capitalize on UKIP's predictable disintegration in the way that we might have done otherwise, and Scotland going blue in patches was frankly just plain weird. My own constituency stayed blue, with Craig "Amazon" Mackinlay's majority almost tripling due to a load of Tories coming crawling back after their flirtation with the Kippers, who were absolutely destroyed after netting a paltry 2997 votes with their candidate (a racist vicar) compared to 18,875 for Labour's Raushan Ara and 25,262 for the Amazon Man.
Still, one particular ray of light in one of my old haunts comes from the youth vote - which almost single-handedly booted Sir Julian Brazier out of Canterbury and turned it red. Canterbury is actually one of the largest university towns in the UK, so that very high student population managed to give Labour a seat that's been staunchly Tory since the end of World War One. If nothing else, that's worth celebrating. We also ousted May's Treasury secretary in Battersea, but Tories holding onto London constituencies (that aren't full of, and here you may freely assume the use of rhyming slang, bankers) is always a slightly dicey prospect.
Theresa May sought to bulldoze her opposition and shore up her legitimacy. This has not happened. I cannot stress that enough. She will be forced to compromise and do deals, which she's absolutely no good at; she may even be obliged to resign. She lost this election, she lost the Conservative majority, and hopefully Corbyn will harness that ever-fickle youth vote again in a few years to really press home and properly oust the Tories from power.