Steven instantly dropped the half-built crib, and it shattered as it hit the floor. Ignoring the shattered would he dived towards the console but was still beaten to it by a furry blur.

Would = wood

That was a short mission, but yegah was that Sue bad.

I literally facepalmed at the mention of wings. Like, come on! How obvious of a Sue did the author want her to be?

A few errors I spotted:
1) I’ve got Lindsey’s third birthday party to plan next month, and now we’ve got a new baby on the way as well we’ve got to reorganise the second bedroom, not to mention the fact that I’m trying to petition the Flowers to give us a bigger Response Center, can I not trust you to stop Lindsey from trying to play at being an agent for five minutes?

I can tell that the effect is supposed to be that it all came out as one sentence. However, there would still be natural breaks in the speech. Consider adding a word (which would help with the natural rhythm of the sentence) and repunctuating, thus: "I’ve got Lindsey’s third birthday party to plan next month, and now that we’ve got a new baby on the way as well, we’ve got to reorganise the second bedroom—not to mention the fact that I’m trying to petition the Flowers to give us a bigger Response Center; can I not trust you to stop Lindsey from trying to play at being an agent for five minutes?"

2) Steven instantly dropped the half-built crib, and it shattered as he hit the floor, but was still beaten to the console by a furry blur.
As written, the crib was beaten to the console. One pronoun can make a world of difference: "Steven instantly dropped the half-built crib, and it shattered as he hit the floor, but he was still beaten to the console by a furry blur."

3) Before Sasha even had time to formulate a response her husband and the Ewok had stepped through a portal and into the word world beyond.
Missing comma: "Before Sasha even had time to formulate a response, her husband and the Ewok had stepped through a portal and into the word world beyond."
Also, "Word World" is capitalized.

4) With an exasperated sigh she reached down, picked up the broken crib and began to head into the bedroom.
Two missing commas: "With an exasperated sigh, she reached down, picked up the broken crib, and began to head into the bedroom."

5) Silently Wallis pointed up at the words, shaking his head.
When referring to the text of the fic, the word "Words" is capitalized. (You've missed this throughout the mission.) Also, you missed a comma after "silently".

6) Gods this is going to be a bad one isn’t it.
Two missing commas: one after "Gods", and another before "isn't it".

7) Wallis nodded, grabbing Steven’s arm and pulling him down behind a rock as Lion-O and Lena seemed to materialise out of nowhere.
Lena isn't a canon, and this is her first mention in-fic. Mark her as the Sue. Consider this fix: "Wallis nodded, grabbing Steven’s arm and pulling him down behind a rock as Lion-O and the Sue, called Lena, seemed to materialise out of nowhere."

8) And first charge, giving her own suspension capsule the exact same failing as Lion-O’s.
That comma should be a colon.

9) “Okay, yes, if they knew she was a Sue then they would be only too happy to see her go, but still…” his voice trailed off as he watched the words.
Capitalize the "H" in "his"; this is an altogether new sentence.

10) At least the lack of description means we could still be anyway,
"anywhere"?

11) She felt some satisfaction as
My brother will
I'm guessing that those underscores were meant to be em dashes?

Also, I think you could use a beta-reader. There are multiple cases of Ing Disease and missing commas, plus it's hard to read without an extra blank line between paragraphs. I've made my username clickable; feel free to send it to me for a going-over if you'd like.

Yay, Ewok agent! Love those little guys. *offers Wallis a Jolly Rancher*