because I just returned from my final weaponised explosive animal cartography lesson, having graduated in the art of weaponising explosive animal cartography. I have a certificate. I've placed it over my bed. My mum squints and frowns whenever she sees it. She looks at me with lost, cold eyes, that look through me into another universe where she never had a son, and is on a beach in the Caribbean, drinking some drink that involves coconuts.
So if we get attacked and are lost at the same time and feel like the animal diversity in the general area is kind of low, I've got ya. Got ya in spades.
P.S. Keeeeeeeey, believe theeeeem. Mean every single word, I do. I mean, not the dumb sarcastic ones, but the nice ones that I genuinely mean because I believe them. Because you're bloody good at things and I think you're bloody good at things.
And original? Clever? Published? RRRRRRRRRRGH, thank youuuuuuuuu. I still feel warm from having read that. Cheers, mate, cheers bloody to eternity. I* try my bloody hardest to not disappoint you, mate.
I mean, bugger me, Key. Honestly lost for words. Except these: give yourself more credit, oy? :) (and maybe give me a little less credit, but that doesn't sound quite as cheery, does it?)
P.P.S. Oh, I assure you, that goatee was very distinctly not lovely. A collective of hairs, perhaps, rather than a goatee.
I'll get a good one, I swear! It'll come back, twice as glorious. And I'll have to wait for it to double again, maybe double another time, for it to actually get somewhere. But somewhere it will get!
* I considered correcting this and adding the 'l's and whatnot, but I thought it would be more ironic, given the placement. It amuses me deeply.