Of all the things I can think to give you, nothing is more useful than... this. You know, since you're old and grumpy and can't wait in line now. :P Kidding, of course. Happy birthday again!

Bad Earth, going around the sun!
Bad! Bad Earth, bad!

Here, mate. Here's your gift: a pickaxe.
So we can both punish the Earth as it deserves.
Bad! Bad Earth!
Bad!

Happy you're now an old man day!

And for going with the black-hole food/coffee you can take, I gift you with a self-updating guidebook of all the deathtraps in he multiverse.

Hope you'll get to write a mission someday...

J: As said in the chat.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I gift you a rather interesting stopwatch, recently repaired.

W: Happy Birthday! I would give you this nice wineglass, but it causes digestive issues.
Have a nice Hatsune Miku Doll instead!

Happy birthday, and many happy returns!

You already got the birthday song in Discord, so I'll just pass you this plate of SPaGhetti and call it a day.

Happy birthday!