/OAKDOWN GAINS 1X LASER SHOVEL./

Grab a seat by the fire, make yourself comfortable. We don't stand on ceremony here. Might be a good idea to leave your sanity on the rack by the door, though. You never know what might happen to it around here.

For your newbie gifts I present a Replica Holocron and a Time Vortex in a bottle. It's very pretty, just don't look at it straight on. You might see something madness inducing.

And finally, who's your favorite Doctor? I'm guessing... Ten. Am I right?

For your newbie gift, take this flamethrower. You may need it if you ever become an Agent one day, and if you don't become an Agent it's cool to look at anyways. It has several different settings, ranging from "toast my bread" to fire power so high that the mightiest campfire would quake in its presence. Use it wisely.

Welcome to this crazy corner of the internet known as the PPC! Enjoy your stay!

Have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!

Firstly, welcome. Very nice to have you.
Secondly, allow me to tell you that you have excellent taste in fandoms. Doctor Who is, of course, universally superior to pretty much everything, but Firefly's gorram shiny as well. I'd recommend Farscape based on those fandoms, but then I'd be off on a fandom tangent, and this is neither the time nor the place.

I'd offer you something, but, frankly, I'm dedicating code viewable by the whole of the internet-connected human populace to you personally, so you've already got a planetary memorial. Several, actually, counting everyone else's. I imagine you're virtually glowing with gratitude already (puns!), and anything else would just make you feel guilty.

I joined the PPC for almost identical reasons, and this is definitely an excellent spot for improving those skills. So, here's to hoping you stick around!

Have this Weighted Companion Cube! The Weighted Companion Cube will accompany you through the PPC. Please take care of it.
Since noone else has asked you this yet: What are your preferred pronouns?

Please have a new poster and this best hamster as welcome gifts.

My first thought was... 'hey i'm in those fandoms too'... and then I looked . You got me into Firefly. Hey there! :D Here, have a flamingo in a teacup!

Well, you've found the right place, mate.
The PPC community is practically powered by insulted lovers. We grind them up and put them in the engines, and that keeps us chugging along for weeks!
Chugging along like one of those old steam trains! But the bloke by the engine is shovelling grinded lovers, rather than coal.

My gift upon you is: a smile. So we can get that Oakdown and make it an Oakup!
And if you're interested in improving your writing, as I am, you ought to see PoorCynic's workshops. A bunch of article thingos on characterisation and speech and whatnot. Though it focusses on PPC stuff, a lot of it can be applied to writing and roleplaying in general. Useful stuff, it is.

Welcome! Please, follow me. The fuel-grinder is just down this hall...

Please have a pot of black-hole coffee. Now, Seems like Ix asked all the important questions, so only thing left is wishing you welcome and a good and long stay here in the madhouse.

A newbie! Yay! Here, have this Royal Ice Cream Container! Close lid, say flavor, open lid, voila, ice cream! Oh, slight problem with this one, though. If you have a song playing in the background, music notes will start flying everywhere when you open it, so be careful!

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

If you haven't yet read them, may I point you towards the Original Series and the Constitution? They're pretty much the only required reading around these parts. Another useful resource you might use is