This isn't an intelligence report.
Intelligence reports are written by, and from the perspective of PPC spies. Who work in the Department of Intelligence. Which is the entire idea of the department.
This, as far as I can figure, is not. It is, rather, you simply filling the form out with your own thoughts.

There's nothing wrong, of course, with pointing us towards a poorly written fic and giving a few thoughts on it, but you have presented it in the form of an intelligence report, and it must be as such judged on the grounds of an intelligence report.
And on the grounds of an intelligence report, it really isn't very good, containing no actual story or character, or much of anything.

You got to research this stuff more, mate. Look at examples. Check the wiki.

I wouldn't mind co-writing with you because of a variety of reasons, but shouldn't you first read the concrit that's been given for your previous things and at least acknowledge its existence?

Your last two stories, you were given concrit which you either ignored or didn't see. I suggest you address the issues brought up next time you write something.

As for this story in particular.... I think I'll let someone else handle the issues with it, since I don't trust myself to remain impartial.