Come join the afterparty here!

Though I believe there's something off in the formatting sometimes - at least to my eyes, there were points in which the text looked slightly different.

Aside that, the mission was good - nice job on blending together the chaos of the various guest bits!


Now I'm curious how you'll go for Ave and Zeb - will Zeb get partnered with Charlotte and Ix, or will it be just the occasional cowrite from now until Ave's back?

You really picked the perfect first mission, eh? Gore everywhere, time jumps all over the place... No wonder it will be a one-or-rare-of-a-kind thing for Alex.

And hiatus begins for Ave. Unless you've got a interlude planned somewhere. Please, tell me she isn't in Intelligence. She will be regretting DMS before the end of her first week.

And thanks for the thanks. Now, am I the only one thinking the little reception at Rudi's could make for a good RP opportunity?

The mission itself might have done with some line breaks, especially when the "camera" jumps from agent to agent. Aside from that, the mission was readable, and the agent interactions went well; you played Zeb, Rina, and Alex off each other quite well.

Were you in a hurry to post this mission? I do not believe that 11:00 PM is a usual time for you. One more day's delay might have helped you, as quite a few errors slipped through.

1) She gave her wings a few flaps and went airborn
Spelling error: airborne

2) running for my life from a pack of Timber Wolves.
You missed a mini. And you caught a similar one later in the fic—Para Sprite.

3) gain his barings
Homophone error: bearings

4) Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell, and Scootaloo
Mini alert! The correct spelling is "Sweetie Belle".

5) Our C-CADs liked blowing up so much we kind of stopped carrying them,
Missing comma. Put a comma after "blowing up so much".

6) If I wanted to get eaten by Victreebel I would’ve stayed at home!
Another missing comma: put it after "Victreebel".

7) Peregrin was speculating about what the large-scale geometry of HQ.
As is, this is a sentence fragment. Delete the "what," or add the rest of the sentence.

8) There was an earsplitting crack, and the Sue’s body exploded, overwhelmed from all the power it had absorbed.
Don't you mean "Stu's body"?

And one more thing, this time just curiosity on my part:

Zeb’s teeth were chattering. “Fire. Again with the fire. F-fire…”
I'm guessing that this has to do with Rose Potter? I did not read all six missions.

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That was nice, though it was a bit abrupt for me, Ave finalizing her decision there at the end. I would've liked to see hints of Ave considering it throughout, but, on the other hand, previous missions have done a good enough job building up to her hiatus that it wasn't really necessary.

Nice job on the tremendous effort of coordinating everyone for the exorcism- it felt like a proper event at times, and realistically chaotic.

And having everyone go back to Rudi's there at the end was a nice touch. I just hope no one's expecting Ave and Zeb to pick up the tab.