Subject: Nicely Done!!
Author:
Posted on: 2016-09-24 21:23:00 UTC
I liked this mission a lot! I do have one question though- what happened to the minis? They were mentioned and then kind of poofed into thin air.
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New Mission! by
on 2016-09-24 17:59:00 UTC
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What's worse, sleeplessness or a Star Warrior's uncanon girlfriend? Agents Backslash and Whitney are forced to resolve this dilemma in "Good Knight, and Good Luck".
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Corrections ahoy! by
on 2016-09-26 00:26:00 UTC
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1) The anime ended it's original run
This should be obvious.
2) “What I’d give to cave in that skull of her’s,” said Whitney.
Another extraneous apostrophe.
3) Funny, I’d have sworn showed up earlier than this.
I think you a word there. Perhaps "he" or "it"?
And this one's more of a "please clarify":
Meta Knight, meanwhile, looked down at said mask fragments, thinking. Backslash made the connection in his mind a bit faster, though, and pulled out a little rod-like device.
What connection are you talking about?
All in all, a good mission, though the two "MOMMY MAY I KEEP IT" lines struck me as a bit OOC. Then again, I'm willing to accept the possibility that I'm amiss in expecting Backslash to act more like Shulk.
But back to basics: a good mission and good expansion on the characters of Whitney and Backslash. -
Fixed! by
on 2016-09-27 04:06:00 UTC
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And I was under the impression that former replacements would develop personalities of their own - Backslash is kinda doing that, i.e. a tad more childish than Canon!Shulk, and a lot more rude ^^;
Thanks for your feedback! I'm in the process of writing one more mission with these two before switching gears to some of my other agents, so hopefully you guys should be able to get a glimpse into their lives once again. ;) -
Nicely Done!! by
on 2016-09-24 21:23:00 UTC
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I liked this mission a lot! I do have one question though- what happened to the minis? They were mentioned and then kind of poofed into thin air.
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Haha, whoops! ^^; by
on 2016-09-24 22:28:00 UTC
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I've just scattered mention of Meta's throughout the rest of the mission, though I've said that "Mety" is debatable and am open to thoughts about that. Thanks for the heads-up!
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On the Subject of Adorable Minis by
on 2016-09-27 15:51:00 UTC
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No problem! This was a really well written mission! :)
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Wait mentioning Epic yarn? by
on 2016-09-24 19:44:00 UTC
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Sword and Blade don't appear in Epic Yarn. However this fanfic writer seemed to forget that Meta Knight appeared in Epic Yarn. Actually Meta Knight in Epic Yarn did help Kirby,after he was freed from Yin-Yarn.
So basically it should be Meta Knight telling Sword and Blade about helping Kirby in Epic Yarn if anyone.