So there used to be - might still be? - an alarming habit among people who purportedly believed in astrology of tweaking people's birth-dates and -times to give them more favorable charts. This also applied when choosing a 'birthdate' for people you don't actually know it for.

Well, as it happens, I don't know precisely when the PPC was founded. But I do know that its chart should absolutely feature Uranus in the 7th house (ie, that it's a group built around partnership), which will form a trine with the sun in the 11th house (ie, that the whole core of the setting is friendship). So when do we have to have been 'born' for that to happen?



June 15th, 2002! (That's a little late for the actual founding of the PPC, so maybe it's the date of our reappearance after Harpwire was deleted. Or it could be the founding of the Board!)

And what an auspicious natal chart we fake get. The combination I mentioned exists (obviously), but we also have Uranus forming a square (stressful!) with Mercury in the 10th house. That means the whole partnership thing is stressed by the agents' love of canon - that is, missions are a strain! Uranus is also in opposition to the moon, over in the 1st house - that means an emotional centre is reinforcing the whole partnership scheme.

Nor is that the only interaction of the moon. The emotional heart of the PPC is in a sextile with Saturn in the 11th house - yes, those emotions are drawn from and feeding into a combination that literally comes out as 'working friendships' - an excellent description of the PPC! Saturn is opposed by Pluto in the 4th house, which can be described as 'change at home' - certainly something that happens to our agents!

Elsewhere, Mercury's love of canon sits in a sextile with a curious factor: Venus in the 12th house, suggesting the self-negation of love. Can there be any better description of a Mary-Sue? We all know that encountering a Suvian only strengthens our love for canon.

All in all, this chart paints a picture of canon-loving agents, close friends with their partners but stressed out, fighting against Suvians and an unusual, transformative home. Moreover, it tells us that we all absolutely love it.

---

And that is why astrology is such a nifty gimmick. If you know the person (or organisation!) you're writing about, you can pretty much turn anything into an accurate horoscope for them. Like Tarot, runes, and whatever that thing's called where you throw crystals around and look for patterns, you get out whatever you choose to put in.

hS

Traditional signs in the inner ring, accurate ones in the outer.

---

Okay, simple rundown of astrology as I understand it:

-The dial is split into the various zodiac signs. It's also split into 12 Houses, starting at the 9 o'clock position on the dial and counting anticlockwise.
-Which house a planet is in determines what it affects. Which sign a planet is in affects how strong it is (basically).
-The angles between planets (around the centre of the circle) can intensify their effects.

The houses and angles won't change between my traditional and IAU-approved charts; the signs will, which Could Be Critical! Let's take a look.

The sun is in the fourth house. It forms a sextile (60 degree angle) with Mars, and is in conjunction with Venus. Exciting! A Sun-Venus conjunction is favourable! Now the fourth house is the house of Home and Family, so that means I'll have a good home-life, with strong influences from myself (the Sun represents the self, basically) and... well Venus is harmony, comfort, and romance. So yeah, happy marriage. ;)

The sextile with Mars indicates that both the sun and Venus will have easy communication with that planet, which represents confidence, ambition, strength (and also sexuality, oh stars my horoscope wants to be porn!). Mars is poking about in the second house, the house of Value (yes, as in money). So either my job will help with a happy marriage, or Mars wants me to sell nude pictures. No, Mars. There shall be none of that.

So that's all fixed. Coming now to the signs, we find that the Sun and Venus have moved from Capricorn to Sagittarius, while Mars has moved from Scorpio to Libra. Oh dear, poor Mars! It has moved from dignity to detriment - its strength is reduced by moving from a sign it rules to a sign it's opposed to. Haha, Mars, there shall be no porn for you. I should also highlight that the planets of self and love have moved from the sign of cautious action to the sign of enthusiastic flexibility, while the planet of strength has moved from inflexible empathy (???) to dynamic communication. So, uh, now I'm in PR?

Okay, moving on. How many planets are left? ... seven? Good grief. Okay.

Let's go from the sun to the moon. The Moon is in the seventh house, the house of Partnerships - yes, we're sticking with the marriage theme! It forms a square with Pluto (in Home and Family), and a trine with Uranus (in the third house, Communication). Okay! So, the Moon is my emotions, and is saying they'll be key in how I interact with people. Pluto is transformative, and the square means there's stress between my emotional interactions with others, and my... need to change at home, I think? Meanwhile, Uranus - the planet of genius - says I'm good at talking to people, particularly in my childhood and other small-scale stuff. Um, Uranus, you are a lying liar. Oh, and the trine with the moon means that my easy friendships will be a source of artistic talent.

How about the signs? The moon has slipped from Aries to Pisces, Pluto from Capricorn to Sagittarius, and Uranus from Sagittarius to - oh yes, it's there - Ophiuchus. All of which means... absolutely nothing regarding rulership, as far as I can tell. It does mean that my emotions have gone from enthusiastic action to emotional adaptability, which is... probably good? Frankly, I think the moon is just talking gibberish at me; it hasn't said anything that makes sense. Unlike Mars, which at least had a plan going in.

Speaking of Pluto, it's in a sextile with Mars - yes, the porn Mars. So I think that means they're ganging up on me. Mars says 'make money from sexuality', Pluto says 'you need a change at home' - yep, I'm being bullied by my horoscope.

What else is significant in here? Ooh, Neptune is in a sextile with Mercury, that looks like fun! So Neptune says my Home and Family life (yeah, my sign is heavily interpersonally-loaded) is going to be harmonius and prosperous, and possibly socialist, and that there's harmony between that and the fact that I value (second house) education/rationality (Mercury). I'm Huinesoron and I approve this message. ^_^

Sign-wise, Neptune makes the now-familiar jump from Capricorn to Sagittarius, with no obvious consequences (I'm now resourceful in my socialism, though!), while Mercury skips over Libra entirely and jumps from Scorpio to Virgo. Ooh, Mercury is the ruler of Virgo! That means my valuing education is intensified, and I'm going to become a scientist. WHO KNEW.

One more sextile, between Jupiter and Uranus. We know Uranus thinks I'm a genius at communication; Jupiter is perched in the fifth house, the House of Pleasure (oh stars, tell me it hasn't been chatting to Mars!). Jupiter is also partly the planet of pleasure, but also of exploration and the law. I... think that all comes together to mean I'm going to be really good at talking to my children and helping them expand their horizons? Maybe? But with Jupiter crossing from its rule of Pisces to - oh no! - its fall in Capricorn, apparently not that good.

There's more that could be said; I haven't even mentioned Saturn, which is hanging out with Uranus in the Third House telling me I'm super-productive when chatting to people. But I think we've seen enough to draw some conclusions:

-My horoscope super wants me to have a family.
-The shift in signs means I'm going to be a bad dad now.
-Mars and Pluto want me to get into porn.

That was fun!

hS

At least in the sidereal system. Was a Virgo, am still a Virgo. By the tropical system, I'm a libra, but meh. Kanaya is very much my patron troll. (Terezi is adorable but not really me.)

http://www.snopes.com/ophiuchus-zodiac-change/
Sorry,but it's not a real thing.

I went from the fish to the thing that the fish is supposed to swim in.
Hello, existential crisis!

I mean, I was listed as an Ox by the Chinese Zodiac, so it's not too much of a shock, but still. :/

Missed the cutoff by two days! Looks like I'm now Aries.

In other words: was an Aquarius, now a Capricorn.

I thought there were only twelve signs to the zodiac. What gives?

Also, it seems that I got shifted to the newcomer's sign: once Sagittarius, now Serpentarius.

I'm a Scorpio, but the new chart says Virgo.

Not that I care.

Weird. Also, source please?

I'm no longer a Leo; looks like I'm a Cancer now.

Side note: There's a hilarious Jon Stewart bit about this, although it may be a bit NSFW. It is Stewart, after all, and there's a tattoo in a... sensitive place involved.

Here it is, in all its glory!

Small question though. Who will be the new Gold Saint for Ophiucus?