"Look at the author’s note," Charlotte said, nodding. "Thoughts are only shown with a single parenthesis. At least they’re consistent!"
Aren’t that actions?

Also, there may be a very tiny continuity problem:

1. Charlotte giggled and bounced in place when she saw the mini, then grabbed her remote and portaled it away.
   
2. Ix grabbed the mini and tossed it through a portal. "How many d’you reckon we’ll get?"
   
3. Charlotte grabbed the mini in her teeth the instant she and Ix appeared in the next scene. Ix glanced up at her horn, and then frowned at Charlotte’s saddlebags, concentrating. A dark green glow surrounded her horn and the saddlebags opened, the remote activator floating out. Ix grinned and opened a portal, and Charlotte tossed the mini through.

This took me out of the story, because in hindsight I wondered who had opened the portal for the second mini. Charlotte?

HG

So far, it seems that everybody's said what needed to be said.

One teeny, tiny error in Luna's dialogue:
Luna shook her head and blinked in confusion, then stared at the agents. “We can feel our head clearing at last,” she said. “And we thank ye for your assistance.”

I know that you're trying to make clear that Luna has returned to normal, but your Early Modern English is off. "Ye" is nominative; it's "you" in the oblique cases. Perhaps have Luna talk to just one of the agents (and thus change the pronoun to "thee"), then bring in the other. For example, consider something like this:
then stared at Charlotte. "We can feel our head clearing at last," she said. "And we thank thee for thine assistance." Turning to Ix, she continued, "And our thanks to thee as well."

It sounds like a ten-year-old's first effort at fic-writing! They want to create this cute guy and have the canons fall in love with him; there's little grasp of grammar or storytelling.

I guess you have to start somewhere, but I predict this one is going to be somebody's old shame someday!

Hates spiders, but can talk to them? Now that's something nasty to do... You know what, since it's her special talent, maybe it should have been her cutie mark... ;)

'Walks on four like a pro', That's really fun... Until you do the math, and remember that Ix has been a werewolf for... 14 years, right? Still well done.

Vampire Pinkie Pie? Keep a close eye on the fourth wall.

Wait, covering anything in dark chocoate makes it infinitely better. Watch that typo.

Ah, nice way of showing Lottie is more old-fashioned.

And now the shipping is just getting more 'text' and less 'sub'.

Fun way to present the charges. I should plagiarize take inspiration from that.

NOOO. Not Lunar Republic! Where will I get these episodes now? Oh wait, that's New Lunar Republic. Nevermind.

And now the subtlety reached NanoFate HomuMado levels. miss the days where I didn't do shipping.

Kudos for the mission.

Wow, Charlotte really got the short end of the vampire-with-supernatural-power stick, didn't she? (That's one of the few interesting things her 'verse added to the vampire mythos, actually--the idea that notable traits from a human get further enhanced once they get bitten, like Jasper's presumed charisma and the love interest's super-presumed empathy/perception. Also, I thought Alice's specific brand of future-vision was cool.)

OK, random defense of cheesy, overly-abused vampire novel series over. Ix and Charlotte were really funny in this one, whether they were playing off each other or the fic's rampant idiocy. Midnight Star sounds like a decent name for a genderbent!Luna, but other than that, nothing.

The chocolate joke and the family jewels jokes were my particular favorites XD

This episode... "Starstruck Love"!

Pfff... Alfie, although you have a cute name and many descendants, I would've still slain you.

Lottie is a spider whisperer?! Hahahaha! What did she do when she was alive? Was she an arachnologist?

Okay... I believe that's the first time I see a script-fic. It's... kinda weird.

Okay, learning more about Lottie's badfic past. Good, that's always good.

Come on, Ix, cut the girl some slack. "Dun, dun, DUUUUN" is a fun thing to say!

Looking gifted horse in the mouth, Lottie? Literally? :P

Pff... the jokes just write themselves. Beautiful, ladies. Beautiful.

For some reason, hearing "lunar republic" made me think of a Star Wars/My Little Pony crossover—HOLD ON, HE'S NINE THOUSAND YEARS OLD!?

"puffed-up, pompous parasite" as alliterations are amazing.

Huh, interesting method of assassination. Definitely original.






Overall, it was an enjoyable mission. I would probably enjoy it more, were I more into My Little Pony, but you made it entertaining with a spidery beginning (ALL SPIDERS MUST DIE!), and the mission was peppered with good humour. I feel like the pacing was good, too.
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And the ending. As you said, it falls kinda flat, and is quite corny, but when taken the story as a whole, I don't think it doesn't make a huge impact, enough to make the whole story bad.

Overall, I give it 4 stars outta 5.