I...

Well, I dunno if I like it. {= ( I enjoyed the characters and their interactions, so I certainly don't dislike it... If it were an interlude about Kaitlyn finding out about POVs and being completely distracted by dorbs while Selene was trying to get her to focus on something more important, I reckon I'd have nothing to complain about. But as a mission, it felt a bit POV-heavy to me. This is at least 50% a personal taste thing, since I'm not interested in collecting critters and never have been, but I think it could use more commentary on the badfic, even if it isn't the usual so-bad-it's-funny mess. And that doesn't have to mean more fic-quotes. It's hard when the problem is blandness (which is one reason to avoid mediocre-fic in general), but you could play up that sort of thing by making the world extremely washed out, or sepia-toned, or fuzzy with deadened sound... or some other interpretation to show what dull writing does to a Word World and the unlucky agents forced to put up with it. It would make the agents feel more fully present, too.

Kaitlyn was so excited about who she was going to call in to help that I was, too, so I was sad it turned out to be a set-up to nothing. I was also sorta hoping "Kelly" would turn out to be Kelly the Roman Warrior somehow. Of course, she's dead, so it wouldn't make much sense, but when has that ever stopped a really determined Suvian? {= )

So, kinda unsatisfying as a mission. But, as More Fun with Kaitlyn and Selene, there are some great lines that made me laugh. "That was yesterday," for one. The bit about the A-word and continuing into the not-a-Python-sketch, for another. And Kaitlyn's made-up story about what happened does sound like lots of fun. Very "I reject your reality and substitute my own." Oh, also "It's like kissing, only there's a winner," even if it is stolen. I don't know where it's from.

Is Kaitlyn's throne just a black office chair? My money's on standard high-back office chair. {= )

(You may be excused from reviewing anything of mine. Reckon it's more likely I owe you for something or other.)

~Neshomeh

"Well-fed?" Kaitlyn pushed off the console with both feet, setting her Galactic Tyrant-brand Executive Pivoting Helium-Cushioned Mobile Throne of Glory rolling across the floor. "You've got red on you," she said, pointing as the chair came to a halt in front of the vampire.
I have a little brother a little bit on the 'all about me' mindset needing a birthday gift soon, where can I find one of these?

"He's still a mini-Sparklewolf," Selene said. "Be honest - out of a pack of mini-Capitoline Wolves, Children of the Night, Sparklewolves and non-mini snow wolves, which would you expect to-?"
I unfortunately know Twilight, but what about the other fandoms involved here?

"Mm… vaguely." Selene frowned as she crossed the room. "It's got undead in it - that's why I know it. And wizards, I think."
Okay, important question... What about fighting zombie hordes in this setting?

"I hope so." Kaitlyn ducked down and fished through the cupboard under the console. "Where's the… aha." She flourished a battered looking smartphone and pointed it at the screen. "Computer: upload canon database."

Selene blinked. "Does that work?"

"Nope!" Kaitlyn tapped on the phone, working through the transfer process. "But it was fun. Have you set the disguises yet?"
That sound over there was the hope of many agents gruesomely dying, you monster.

I stood in front of my 1954 Bentley R-Type continental one of the 208 ever made. It housed a Six cylinder, 4.5-litre engine. I loved my car but not as much as I loved my partner and sidekick.
Still not cooler than the Metallicar.

Kaitlyn rolled her eyes. "Not that." She pointed at the dog-sized creature crouched next to the car. "That!"
Dog? Kill it with fire!

Selene checked the Words. "It's a POV," she said. "One of the capitalised ones. Look, it's spotted, because the fic uses periods in the-"

"It's adorable!" Kaitlyn hissed. "It's like a giant floofy hedgehog, it's amazing!" She knelt down and held out her arms to the POV. "C'mere, lovely, come to Kaitlyn."
False alarm.

Selene waved one hand in the direction of the two protagonists. "Skulduggery and Valkyrie. He thinks she's pretty. He's also a walking skeleton."

"Huh." Kaitlyn studied the couple. "Seems likely to put a damper on their love life."
Not if you believe some badficcers, or Undertales fans. Or Warm Bodies fans.

Selene gave the flock of rabbit-sized POVs a distinctly dubious look, which they returned from under their winged helmets. "POV valkyries," she muttered. "Just perfect."
What does the POVs' Valhalla look like?

"Don't look at me," the vampire said. "That's General P.O.V; I'm pretty sure it outranks you, even if," a milder dislocation swept across them, one that felt distinctly unsure of itself, "even if you've been named twice now."
Duck, they're preparing armies to take over the PPC. To arms agents, it's them or us!

"That's called biting," her partner said. "It's like kissing, only there's a winner."
Mandos must have some PTSD about this time she went in his Halls for Dafydd... And Kaitlyn must just love Belkar.

"Don't steal lines, you'll get us reported for plagiarism." Selene looked across the vaguely-defined space - the fic couldn't decide whether it was still supposed to be on the pier - to where Skulduggery ("Not you," she muttered to the POV) was attempting to get through an entire song in a single breath. "And that's why you don't drop a line like 'I sang Me And Mrs Jones. our song.' in the middle of a paragraph."
Where did that former line come from, please?

"And I'm talking to Cute Animal Friends." The vampire rubbed her forehead with one hand. "What would Dafydd think of me?"
Tell him they're Happy Tree Friends, and you're waiting for their death for more blood... What? They always come back.

"I am," Kaitlyn said, holding up an armful of valkyrie POVs for her inspection. "The general is getting the skulduggery POV under control, so I'm keeping track of the valkyries. I think there's more of them now; it's hard to count when they're all so incredibly cuddly."
Remember, more than three is a charge.

"Keep them under control, please, I'm going to be busy." She beamed at her partner, nodded. "Right: go."
Fool, you're letting him build up an army!

"... sure, but they're also a charge."
Especially the big ones. Seriously, what does these critters eat?

"But accurate." Selene got to her feet, ignoring Skulduggery P.O.V headbutting her leg. "This entire chapter is incredibly generic; it doesn't tell you anything about the characters we're watching. I mean, they're down there endlessly discussing their breakfast - what sort of person would write a fanfic about pancakes?"
...Meyer?

"... so then Kayleigh leapt out in front of Gunner, yelling 'Tackle!', but he dodged past her and went for Merelette again. And that was when Meg Thornton - the Meg Thornton! - appeared out of thin air in front of him. 'I am a servant of the Lightning Bolt', she proclaimed, 'wielder of the Right of Despatch; the Dark Uncanon will not avail you, Gunner the Suvian!' And Gunner just recoiled, and Selene dove in-"

"Kaitlyn, what are you doing?"

Kaitlyn looked up from the circle of POVs, who were staring up at her open-mouthed. "I'm just filling the General and his tribe in on how the mission ended," she said. "I feel bad that they had to miss out."
Just think about how we feel for missing on that too.

Standing next to roman the mini-Capitoline Wolf, Selene tilted her head in bewilderment. "But… none of that happened," she said. "Kayleigh and Salamander were off dealing with Tanith's baby, and Despatch weren't even there - we wouldn't call them in for an Implausible Crossover."
Go away, party pooper! Crazy epic won't be sullied by petty muddy reality!

Selene nodded slowly. "It does have the advantage of being what happened."
And the overwhelming disadvantage of being–

"But it's so boring!" Kaitlyn tossed her hair dramatically, then turned back to her audience.
That.

Speaking of reality,... harsh but fair concrit. Just writing happy feelings without actual justification and development just cheapens it all. Not that the caharacters going through the grinder won't have opinions about this... But though love is a thing too, I guess.

Eeeeee! hS actually published.

Lessee... I liked this. A lot. It's not my normal fare for PPC missions, and ordinarily I'd say it had a lot of failings (mainly centering on a lack of description of and connection to the actual fic). But those "failings" work here, because they seem to be deliberate decisions made in the name of focus and brevity, and the story is structured appropriately. The result feels unique and (and this is the important part) fun. It really gave me that sorta classic feel—and as a fan of the classic missions, I mean that in the best way possible.

Oh, and spinoff idea.

THE ADVENTURES OF GENERAL POV AND THE WARSHEEP

First things first: I don't know this canon either. |D But I have heard about it outside of the PPC, which can only be a good thing.

Thing the second: Kaitlyn's got quite a chair, there. I wonder if they do bar stools?

Third thing: Fictionaries! They're very useful for this sort of mission... even if the fic is nothing like the canon.

(And Kaitlyn's lines continue to be gold. "That was yesterday.")

Fourth/Fifth? Thing: And now another character loses a pen! /YW reference FTW

Sixth thing: I do hope Selene was going to say "... A POV intervention." XD (In terms of what Kaitlyn needs.)

Thing the seventh!: "Don't steal lines, you'll get us reported for plagiarism." Yeah, that WOULD be a pain. XD Very nice.

And I also very much liked Selene's "Full Name" - if that's actually her real name she's completely justified in any mortification she feels.

And (second-to-last thing!) I would read a fic about pancakes. Mostly because I enjoy eating them, but still. =P

LAST THING: I very much appreciate POV storytelling. That should be a thing in the next Badfic Games - whatever you're writing, you must present it in a way that keeps POVs interested.

Thank you for writing! =D