Subject: Well, I read it,
Author:
Posted on: 2018-08-06 12:15:00 UTC
and I can’t say that I had fun; so I guess you did the dark mood right.
One tiny error:
The Onion Grass was a goliath of a Flower who had been been shrunk into a silent, crumpled state by paperwork.
HG
In which Shift Twentieth of the Janitorial Division are assigned a bit of Mound Duty, the poor gits.
They probably deserve it. Don't feel pity or remorse, but point, and laugh, and fling peanuts, for they are mere circus animals for your amusement!
Endless thanks to my betas who were all great and who all did a fantastic job translating my dirty Larfscribblings into legible English!
Fun, though. ^^
I'm not sure a story in which the Janitorial Division do cleaning work counts as an 'interlude', though... isn't that their job? ^~
hS
Whoever it was I asked on Discord about whether I'd call these interludes or not, you owe me a pat on the back! And a pleasant smile.
I guess I'll just call them... stories, I suppose, ay? Situations, events, conundrums. Employments. Jobberies. Such forth. Whatever gets that search engine optimisation.
Also lemme just say that calling stuff I've writ weird is, other than maybe giving me money, some've the highest praise I can scrounge up for. Cheers!
I was under the impression that if it wasn't a mission, it was an interlude. Sorry about that. ^^;
I historically tagged things as Interludes if they came in the middle of a series of missions, but with Driftwood I instead have InterMissions and Side Stories. I mostly don't call stories set away from mission series Interludes, but sometimes will.
In this case, because cleaning is actually their job, it sort of is a mission... except it's not a mission, obviously.
Report? Shift log?
hS
Sounds pretty smart. Pretty professional and cool and such. I'll probably use that.
Alternately, I could just go as it flows and call them whatever I decide to call them at the time. And as I run out of things to call them, the titles will be synonyms stretched further and further, be generally more and more stupid, until it just kind of ends up as word salad.
As all good things ought to be!
...Actually, I beta'd this. So I don't have a review. I do have a few comments though. Like that this fic is great. And it's funny and I love it.
One errant comment I previously made while beta-ing that might be amusing: I bet that stabbing coworkers is banned because one team kept stabbing each other and mopping all the blood to make their quota.
Who could forget the Great Stabbing Spree of '98, when Shift Triple-1 completed two weeks' quota in a single day by stabbing the absolute hell out of each other, cleaning it up, tripping down to medical, and doing it all over again?
Thanks again for betaing, by the way. It probably wouldn't be very great without the betawork because everyone would be distracted by how gross and misspelled everything is!
Your writing style is, again, so quintessentially PPC-esque, it makes me jealous. Your narration and characterizations take a concept that easily could have been dark and sad, and instead keep it ridiculous and silly. I especially love Bug Catcher Ellis, and how delightfully manic he is in the midst of his nervousness.
I've been toying with the idea of my agents finding a giant landfill deep "under" HQ someday, so kudos on beating me to it! You've certainly given it more complexity than I was imagining it to have, what with the different ecosystems and the rat-roach wars. I like it! And I like that you've made it the "ground floor" rather than some mysterious basement. It makes it feel to me more like it's literally just the lowest point in HQ, and the trash all winds up there through random breezes and kicks, coupled with gravity. I wonder if it used to have RCs and such in it in the earliest days, before the trash accumulation made it unlivable?
—doctorlit, going to play in this area someday
I honestly didn't even think about what the ground floor was used for before all the trash got in it. I'd imagine it'd have RCs in it. Maybe I'll leave that for you to fill out, if you write in it, ay?
I'll be waiting!
Also, I didn't even think of how dark the situation is, but I guess it's a bit dark, innit, kidnapping and violence and all?
I should pay more attention to things in general!
Cheers for the review, anyhow, mate! Glad you enjoyed it.
HQ has sub-basements. The Phantom of the Opera Division is (or was) located in the fifth one, naturally.
Also, DAVD is located in the basement of HQ, and it and the HQ Pool are said to be some absurd number of flights of stairs below the rest of HQ.
So why does the trash collect on the ground floor? And where do the doors to HQ let into? And where's the lobby (cuz there is one, seen here)? {X D
Maybe the lobby and whatnot are on the first floor, but unbeknownst to the designers, HQ planned itself on city rules, and the first floor is not the first one you walk into, but the first one up from the ground?
~Neshomeh, who read the story, but couldn't think of anything intelligent to say about it. Sorry. {= (
I always figured that the spatial dimensions of HQ were the sort of thing a mortal mind isn't really meant to try fathoming - that if you measured just how deep the dark stairs going down to the ground floor go, you'd conclude that they're twenty-five kilometres above the rest of HQ, and fifty leagues west from where you started. And then your measuring device would evaporate in your hand. Or so on.
I'm sure it's sort of... floating around all those other places.
Which might all be cop-out excuses, but they're all pretty fun ones!
I also figured at least some of the trash there just kinda piled up, flooding out of that little trash dimension in that closet. Probably didn't make that very clear, though, did I?
And no worries, it's not like it's a particularly intelligent story, either!
The spooky question is, is where does the ground floor exit out onto, eh? EH?
and I can’t say that I had fun; so I guess you did the dark mood right.
One tiny error:
The Onion Grass was a goliath of a Flower who had been been shrunk into a silent, crumpled state by paperwork.
HG
That has to be the typo I make the most consistently and it makes very little sense.
Perhaps I just have very echoey fingers.
And, uh, cheers? I was sort of hoping it would be fun, but death of the author and all, ay? Whatever works!
I liked how the repatitive-ish descriptions gave a good feeling of the oppressive bleakness of the ground floor. And your characters' interactions were overall funny. (To pick out an example, the "chop your own head off" and the bit with Anne convincing Ninetwo to hit someone over the head were good.)
The ending confused me initially, but then I cottoned on that the shift decided to hide in the alternate dimension. I wonder how that'll go wrong for them? Guess I'll have to wait for the third installment.
- Tomash
Glad you liked it!
Don't worry, I'm sure the next one won't take a bloody year to get out like this one.
I'm.
I'm sure of it.
Not much else to say. I liked it, just wanted you to know. :)
And the cat may well have been the best part, though that may just be my liking of cats talking.
Thank you for writing, and your betas for beta-ing! ;)
Tiny rumbley earthquake fellas.
And thank you, good citizen, for reading.
;)