Ooh, no, touch me.

Subject: Ooh, no, touch me.
Author: Deadpool
Posted on: 2018-03-26 16:34:00 UTC

I totally get the thing about not existing - you'd not believe the number of things I see that don't exist, and/or legally can't be said to. It's wild.

Hang on, there's like a... whaddaya call a door when it's not really a door, but just a transition in a featureless plain? One of those. Eh... weird Star Wars wallpaper, boring emails, some kiiiinda interesting stuff going on in a couple of drafts... looks like it's another one of you people with ridiculous names. 'Huinesoron'? Sounds like something you should take to the doctor!

;o

((Touche. ~hS))

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Canon conundrum: Deadpool by Voyd on 2018-03-26 15:10:00 UTC Reply

So... I have a question.

Has anybody here written a PPC mission involving Deadpool?

Because, uh... I just came to a rather interesting realization.

If anybody ever interacts with him, he's going to know about the PPC.

See, he's fourth-wall-aware, and would probably know he's in a fanfic, and if the Words let go of him for a moment, he'll know it's dumb but he'll probably still play along.

Now here's the problem: sure, he can be neuralyzed... but it's not a permanent solution, since he could simply read the Words of the MISSION to get back up to speed. For example...

--

[X agent] put the neuralyzer away. "Deadpool, you have never met anyone named Mary Sue, nor do you remember my partner or myself. This has all been a strange dream, but not one worth remembering."

Deadpool stared blankly at [X] for a moment, before seeming to realize something. "Oh, this is the part where I'm supposed to nod dumbly and mill about like one of those sheep from Men in Black, right? I mean, that's a neuralyzer, so..."

I mean... by Zingenmir on 2018-03-26 20:34:00 UTC Reply

...I don't think I'd mind pretty much any direction this goes in ('this' being Deadpool knowing about the PPC and how long/when he'd know about it *for*). What I do know is that Deadpool is hilarious and this thread is awesome :D

Personally, I think it could be very fun for him to know, even if it maybe faded when canon reasserted itself. A bit like Jack Harkness, maybe? He seems to more or less know what PPC agents are, even if he repeatedly forgets the specific instances when they appear. Seeing through perception filters helps with that, of course. At any rate: more Deadpool=good. I'm in favor. Would love to see a mission where he shows up.

~Z
Hi Deadpool! by OpinionedAngel on 2018-03-26 16:42:00 UTC Reply

Do you like chocolate?

The real question is... by Deadpool on 2018-03-26 16:48:00 UTC Reply

... do YOU like chocolate?

... actually that's not the real question. Why would I ask that? I mean, your name says you're an angel, but why would I believe that? This is the Matrix, anyone can say they're anything! ADMIT IT! You're a false angel, come to... something something, liberty and justice for all!

Yeah. That'll teach you.

>:(

Re: The real question is... by OpinionedAngel on 2018-03-27 03:26:00 UTC Reply

Well of course I love chocolate, who doesn't?

But if you don't want any chocolate I guess I'll have to eat it all myself...

And anyway this is only o e of my many handles...

And now I'm above too. I'm a pop culture reference! (nm)(nm) (nm by Deadpool on 2018-03-26 16:36:00 UTC Reply
Below post aside... by Neshomeh on 2018-03-26 15:43:00 UTC Reply

My take on these questions of "but X character is omniscient" is always that they're only omniscient about their own canon. The PPC is not part of any canon (unless an author someday makes it so), therefore knowledge of it will vanish when the canon reasserts itself.

OTOH, Deadpool might get a pass purely because it could kinda hilarious for him to randomly pop up in HQ and/or the Board whenever he feels like it. Kinda like how Gaspode the Wonder Dog knows about the PPC, because dogs can't talk, duh, and no one would ever believe him anyway. Rule of Funny. {= )

~Neshomeh

Re: Below post aside... by Phobos [aaaaand Deadpool!] on 2018-03-26 20:53:00 UTC Reply

"And that was the last time I really feel like I connected with my mother on an emotional level. You know what I'm sayin' doc?"

Nurse Mirrad let out a heavy sigh. "Mr Pool, I have no idea what you are saying. I would remind you that I am not assigned to your case, nor have I heard that you have been admitted. Now, I have already asked you to remove yourself from my lap. Please comply so that I may continue to eat my lunch."

["Hey, cool place you've got here!" Deadpool looked around at the grey walls of the Department of Fictional Psychology and grinned under his mask. "Much better than that featureless Matrix thingamabob over... well, over somewhere."

The merc twitched his shoulders, adjusting his gear on his back. "Right, and that's a really awkward way of sayin' it." Shaking his head, he turned back to Mirrad. "Anyway, I'd love to chat, but I've promised to find someone called Zing some chimichangas. At least I think that's what I said, I wasn't really paying attention. Later!"]

((This message has been subject to a horrifying abuse of Nameless Admin powers. Deadpool made me do it. ~hS))

That edit makes me so happy :D (nm) by Zingenmir on 2018-03-27 13:13:00 UTC Reply
Aw, man, I've needed someone to talk to. by Deadpool on 2018-03-27 09:04:00 UTC Reply

Not keen on you cutting me off, though. Let me just head back up there and... let's see, how does this work?

:-/

Since you're in FicPsych now... by Jenni Robinson on 2018-03-27 16:28:00 UTC Reply

You can always hit me up. I totally get the goofy meta stuff. Also, my kid would love to meet you! No chimichangas, sorry, but I have tea. C-14, two doors down (up?) from Mirrad.

~Jenni

Oh, god, YESSS. (nm) by Voyd on 2018-03-27 02:45:00 UTC Reply
... by Zingenmir on 2018-03-27 02:15:00 UTC Reply

...the next event which is not an Emergency but is open to whoever wants to get in on it: Deadpool has somehow gotten into HQ and is popping up in random places to delight, confuse, and mildly annoy. Someone tries to recruit him and is stopped by their more canon-savvy partner. Several people have their lunches interrupted. The authors get mildly nervous. Deadpool sets out on a quest to find some chimichangas.

Based on this thread so far, it could make for a hilarious lighthearted event or RP, I think. Anyone agree? :)

~Z, who nearly just signed off as 'DF' from force of something

Only thing missing is inviting Pinkie Pie... by Hardric on 2018-03-28 15:57:00 UTC Reply

People getting the reference, you know that needs to happen.
Damnit, Wade! (nm) by Matt Cipher on 2018-03-27 21:26:00 UTC Reply
Yes please (nm) by Thoth on 2018-03-27 12:50:00 UTC Reply
I'm down with that. by Deadpool on 2018-03-27 09:01:00 UTC Reply

Or up for that? What's the difference between those two, anyway?

So yeah, book me in. I'll duck into this HQ of yours through that scene with Mirrad, should be good for a laugh.

;)
Sounds like a fun thing! (nm) by Tomash on 2018-03-27 05:35:00 UTC Reply
YES. I would love this! (nm) by Iximaz on 2018-03-27 02:19:00 UTC Reply

{X D Yes. This is canon. (nm) by Neshomeh on 2018-03-26 21:09:00 UTC Reply

Aside? by Deadpool on 2018-03-26 16:04:00 UTC Reply

I'm not aside, I'm below. And if you think you can ignore me, you've got another thingk coming: I'm in the code, watching everything you do. I'm like Neo, if Neo was way cooler and also trapped in an infinite white plain.

... which, come to think of it, makes me a lot like Neo in that scene with all the guns. You know the one. Right before they go and murder everyone.

So the takeaway here is twofold: one, Neo is almost as cool as me, and two, I'm in the Matrix and you can't touch me. Your bullets will do that awesome thing where they stop like they hit a wall of Jello or something.

:D

Now you're below and aside. by Neshomeh on 2018-03-26 16:11:00 UTC Reply

Because of the way threading works on this forum. {= D

Point is, I don't need to touch you (this ain't the Shipfest). Unless Stan Lee or whoever actually controls content at Marvel acknowledges the PPC as a thing, we don't exist and therefore you can't know about us. Canonically, anyway. Random RPs are another matter. Say, do you know who's writing you at the moment?

~Neshomeh

Ooh, no, touch me. by Deadpool on 2018-03-26 16:34:00 UTC Reply

I totally get the thing about not existing - you'd not believe the number of things I see that don't exist, and/or legally can't be said to. It's wild.

Hang on, there's like a... whaddaya call a door when it's not really a door, but just a transition in a featureless plain? One of those. Eh... weird Star Wars wallpaper, boring emails, some kiiiinda interesting stuff going on in a couple of drafts... looks like it's another one of you people with ridiculous names. 'Huinesoron'? Sounds like something you should take to the doctor!

;o

((Touche. ~hS))

I think you might want to see this by Tomash on 2018-03-27 03:13:00 UTC Reply

Apparently you've been shipped

- Tomash
Hah, I knew it. by Neshomeh on 2018-03-26 17:56:00 UTC Reply

A big clue was "thingk," which I realized was not a typo, but a very subtle hS-type reference to a debate we had some time ago. Probably. {= )

Speaking of things that definitely don't legally exist, if you happen to not-see Hal Jordan, don't-say I said hi and thanks again for the save that one time. ^_~

~Neshomeh

Oh, hey, what's this place? by Deadpool on 2018-03-26 15:29:00 UTC Reply

Thanks for dumping me here, uh... 'Voyd'. How do you even pronounce that? Is it the same as Void? Or is it like 'Vo-YUD'? Can I call myself Dydpool? No, that's terrible, forget it.

Right, so I've no idea what you're talking about; I'm kinda trapped in a mostly-infinite white plain right now, and it feels like I'm... texting? Or something? OH wait, I'm on the Internet, aren't I? HI MOM!

Yeah, basically, you already brought me here, so that ship? Sailed. That horse? Bolted. That rat? ... nah, you probably wouldn't appreciate that metaphor. End result, that fourth wall? Broken. I know about the PPC now.

Whatever the PPC is.

;)

Wait, does this mean he's read all our joke stuff? by twistedwindowpane on 2018-03-27 21:19:00 UTC Reply

If so... oh sh*whap*mmmf. (That was me censoring myself by slapping myself on the mouth.)

-Twistey
WHAT HAVE I DONE by Voyd on 2018-03-26 16:35:00 UTC Reply

(And it is pronounced like "void")

Nah. It's 'Vo-YEEEED' now. by Deadpool on 2018-03-26 16:38:00 UTC Reply

No takey-backsies.

Now, listen, O Creator, I'm feeling the lack of amenities around here. Why don't you sit down there and write me up a nice scene to get some down-time in? I'll make it worth your while, if you know what I mean...

... honestly, I don't know what I mean, but I figured it sounded persuasive.

:D

Fine then. A day at the beach... by Voyd on 2018-03-27 00:05:00 UTC Reply

Wade Wilson, in his best Deadpool thong, lay on a towel. Two of the most beautiful women he had ever seen were lying next to him.

Susan Storm, clad in a blue bikini, held up a beer can, condensation running down her perfect skin. "Here, Wade, have a cold one."

Emma Frost, wearing only pasties, a thong, and thigh-high boots. "Get rid of that see-through soccer mom. Sue, why don't you show us that disappearing trick you do?"

"Honey, tell that pale 'rhymes with witch' to go drown."

Wade looked between the two beauties. "Hey, Emma, Suzy—there's more than enough Wade Wilson to go around."

Unfortunately, Emma and Susan were already at each other's throats.

"Who invited YOU?"

"What are you, the world's WORST telepath? The GREAT HERO did!"

Resigning himself to what was about to happen, Wade took a sip of Sue's beer. "Ladies, I want a nice, clean, but slow and enjoyable fight."

((I swear, on my given Permission, that this is actually a scene in the comics. Granted, it's a dream on Deadpool's part, and it also has Dazzler and She-Hulk.))