Subject: Ugh.
Author:
Posted on: 2012-11-11 18:43:00 UTC
I cringe in fear of public speeches being delivered by me. Like, literally cringe.
One misspelled word where I come from usually was grounds to get called every foul thing under the sun and then mocked endlessly for it.
So, it's training, it's cold, I've finished all my homeschool assignments, and I have nothing to do.
Solution:
Pointless reminiscing! :D
The topic:
Words that have been muddled over the years.
Just earlier today, I was eating a Mapple with a Bluhamurkeyvolone.
That's Blueberry bagel with Ham, Turkey and Provolone cheese, translated. Not as bad as it sounds, actually.
These are some of a few words that I've muddled over the course of my life. A few other memorable muddlings include confusing "Contaminated" with "Constipated", mixing up a friend if my mom with actress Sandra Bullock (ironically, Miss Congeniality is playing right now), and the creation of the word Buhdie, which is "Birdie" in Cute.
So, friends: what have you muddled, confused, or accidentally said that you still joke about today?
(alsocheckoutmysuddencomprehensionofHTMLwritingwhatwhat)
Shall we discuss how for all of fifth grade I was adamant that Hermione was pronounced "Hera-myohknee?"
I even have the mini-Aragog to prove it -waves Heramione-
Hey, I once called Snape "Sereverus", so that's perfectly understandable.
Besides, nobody can ever top Dumbleydore, Volxemort, Snap and Loopin.
You know where I'm going. ;P
And I don't quite remember the assignment—might've been a five-minute persuasion thing, or something like that—but it involved me getting up in the front of people and talking, which is always a dicey prospect. On this occasion, I was explaining that words like "nuclear" and "especially" have certain correct pronunciations. For instance, "nuclear" only has one U in it; it is not "nucular." And "especially" does not have an X in it; it is not expeshully.
To make my point, I proceeded to spell out the word "especially."
And forgot how midway through. My brain blanked out on me.
Fortunately, my class was not a bunch of total jerks, so everybody just laughed (totally fair; I had to laugh, too) and we moved on. I'm prone to that kind of thing when nervous, though, so that's one reason I will never be a public speaker. {= P
~Neshomeh
...is also a speech quirk of George W. Bush's.
So at least you're not alone in that aspect. :'D
And that's not exactly reassuring anyway. {= P
I can't seem to break myself of the midwestern "yer" for "your"/"you're," though, even though I cringe every time I catch myself doing it. Alas. >.
~Neshomeh
Sorry if I've offended.
No, but it would be less embarrassing if you were alone, in that regard.
I can't imagine being able to relate to one if the worst American presidents is good for the feels.
Oh, you cheeky bugger, you.
I cringe in fear of public speeches being delivered by me. Like, literally cringe.
One misspelled word where I come from usually was grounds to get called every foul thing under the sun and then mocked endlessly for it.
It is not pronounced ep-eh-tome.
Every single time I try to say that word I say it like that and then people just stare at me for a while while my sister laughs at me.
You too, huh?
Oh, don't worry, I get that wrong all the time.
Right along with hyperbole.
My German (mother language) teacher managed to start at positive and go over to optimistic. During the word, which resulted in posimistic. She tried two times more, and both times we ended up with posimistic.
She taught us synthetic division... and something else which she swore up and down was not synthetic division but she never could say what it was. So now I don't have any clue what synthetic division really is. Also, have you heard of "sniglets?"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sniglet
My French teacher did the same thing with positive and the French words for "it's good".
Ever heard of a ce bonitive?
Let's see... I used to pronounce debris as "derbys," (turns out I swap consonants a lot,) and thoroughly as "throughoutly."
Add this to my chronic misspelling of the word sandwich (it almost always shows up as sandwitch,) and a tendency to indiscriminately add or drop T's. (For example, attached =/= "attatched," which is what it sounds like it should be.)
On a much funnier note, when I started taking Spanish, there was a girl who didn't understand that orange (the fruit) and orange (the color) are different in Spanish. Therefore we one day got treated to a really pointless discussion of her weekend, where she mentioned she ate the color orange. :/ We teased her for weeks.
Around where I live, what nobody can pronounce is "Probably." We say "prolly," usually, or "probly." Why? Midwesterners are too lazy to grant a repetitive word more than two syllables.
XD
What's hilarious to me is that everything you just said, I used to do at one point.
In fact, I still misspell sandwich and say "probly" instead of probably.
And isn't orange (the fruit) in Spanish something like... Uh... I think it starts with an "m?" (haven't taken Spanish for years.)
The fruit is Naranja, the color is Anaranjado.
So, and I quote,
Girl: "Comi un anaranjado por desayuno."
Me: "Pintaste con una naranja tambien?"
Class: *Snickers*
The other great legendary one in my spanish class was one of my friends getting so confused that he made a sentence which translated as something like "And then I will have probably eaten..." (I forget what the rest was, it was what he did to the verb that was funny.)
Latin was also a great one. We got column of centurions mixed up with architectural column, and spent one memorable translation excercize laboring under the impression that the roman army was holding up a roof. :)
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOLD, YOU MISERABLE MAGGOTS!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!!!"
There's also the chronic muddling of my username. I keep getting confused with this "anonymous" guy.
In Arabic, the word for 'bathroom' is 'ham-mam,' so when you want to go to the bathroom, you say 'biddi roo al-hammam.' However, 'hammam' is pronounced like that because you hold the m for longer. If you don't, then you're saying 'I want to go to hell.'
I imagine Arabic folks don't take too kindly to that...
And would it be terrible if I made a horrible American interpretation and said, "I'm eating a hammam and cheese bagel"?
Because that's seriously what it reads like.
I haven't met any Arabic people. There was a guy in my class whose grandparents lived in Syria, IIRC, so he had an advantage over the rest of the (seven-person) class, but if I remember right, then he was from America.
But the Arabic person would probably think it was funny, since the pronunciation of a 'shadda' was one of the first things we learned. It'd be like someone from another country mispronouncing something humorously because they were misreading the phrasebook.
Ah, the pitfalls of learning a language...
...the name James Bond was somehow reduced to a mispronounced "jambon" by my father who was trying to speak in French.
It stuck to the point where my family refers to the James Bond series as ham now.
I also used to confuse "trempette" (dip as in food) with "trompette" (trumpet). I distinctly remember asking my mother for carrots with a bit of trumpets on the side when I was about seven.
I've taken some French classes, so this is actually awesome.
Hargarine - or hard margarine. It actually made so much sense it stuck, and my parents joked it ought to go into the dictionary.
Hargarine n. (HAR-juhr-ihn)
1. A hard block of margarine - "Mummy, may I please have some hargarine?"
2. A muddled combination of hard and margarine
I can totally see that happening.
You remember this one, Specs, but I'll let everyone else know that I once confused 'tongs' with 'tonsils' while discussing how clean a donut shop worker's tongs were.
"Wow, those tonsils she was using were really clean, weren't they?"
/sobs
I was in some conversation back in school, must have been freshmen year. we were talking about swearing in conversations, and I was saying that swearing was like salting steak, a little can "enhance the flavor" as it were. evidently I misspoke and said stick, which lead to some confused looks. Still unaware of my mistake I tried to clarify "you know steak, the meat steak" still somehow mispronouncing steak stick. For the next year and a half, it was all "hey Pinefresh, hows your meat stick."
Ouch. I know how that one goes. At least for me, it was easier.
All I had to put up with was "GET OUT OF THE F***ING WAY, F**!"
One of my more pleasant goofs, though, was when a friend if mine told me that an old username he once used (and still uses) was Quasnoflaut.
It ended up being morphed into QUERSNERFLERT because my tongue got twisted and I had to save face, so I made an ERMAHGERD joke.
Ah, Junior year...
I blame Bill Cosby for that one. We were listening to a comedy tape, and we were... What, six and seven when that happened?
Oh, and don't forget my most recent one: "You'd think that their idea is sort of COUNTERINTUITIVE to their efforts."
Or did I say "counterproductive?"
You said counterproductive, but you meant to say counterintuitive. In fact, I think you were talking about the Hunger Games (the event, not the book/movie) and how killing people off every year struck you as a bad way to keep everyone loyal to you...
...used Machiavelli's The Prince as a handbook. Because there's nothing like keeping people subdued and in fear of you than killing off their children.
Because a riot broke out in district 10 not long into the event, remember?
Well... in that case, I think either one would have worked, really. It's counterintuitive to expect loyalty from people who survived long enough to get their names taken out of the draw and have kids of their own to risk every year, and it's counterproductive to murder two of their children every year in a blood sport meant to extract loyalty and likelier to cause nationwide rage.
Or sommat like that. In my opinion. :D
Oh, that movie passed you off too, huh?
Hee, yes, it passed me off greatly. The book might pass me off less, though. :D
Hush. My phone doesn't like the word pissed.
No, this was in Turlock.
Hunger Games came later.
I just can't remember what exactly I was on about.
One memorable incident ended with a serious discussion of the half life of geraniums. Turns out they aren't radioactive after all.
Nope, but URANIUMS are.
And highly explosive!
... Germanium, which is what I initially assumed this conversation was about, is also not radioactive. But very pretty.
There's another muddle right there: confusing Germanium with geraniums.
I honestly didn't think this topic would go off like it has.
Note to self: these kinds of group discussions are amazing time-killers.
Note to self: not like the PPC has any real perception of time anyhow, though.