and I did not get lost, which is always a good thing. But one sentence is throwing me off:

“Charge,” both agents whispered, leaning farther around the tree to watch with bile fascination.

That last phrase there, "bile fascination", threw me off. At first, I thought it was a typo for "vile", but that doesn't seem right either. Could you please explain what you were going for here?

The flashback part is a really nice opening. I was happy to see the Second back, even if for a moment, and Gavan's subtle nod at different environment ("Green grass and blue skies" makes you almost add 'weird' afterwards) is also a nice touch. I gotta admit, I was worried it's gonna turn into a full-on nightmare when Gav spoke in Ellie's voice... Glad you didn't go that way (also, now I have the scene from Junior with the pregnant Arnold Schwarzenegger in my head...).

Good call to see Ellie already maturing this much, which is in-spirit with Time Lord biology and, for some reason, the cereal scene made me smile. I don't know why, but after all the troubles and mishaps Ave has had in the past, considering her PTSD and all issues, making your kid a big bowl of cereal makes it so mundane and peaceful it's almost relaxing to read. Plus, of course, Zeb being the Zebbiest Zeb that ever Zebbed is also a plus. #MoreZeb

Stupid console startling poor precious babby :< Also, parenting Aviator FTW.

Okay, maybe it's just me seeing things, but I've noticed a bit more of the "badfic correction" instead of straight-up "charging ALL the canon differences". That's nice. That's the approach I'm trying to take, that's my PPC way.

Something didn't sit me right with the sentence: "the front steps of the museum where Yancy Academy would soon be visiting" My first thought was the entire school was going there, but who knows, maybe it's just an ESL being stoopid.

I completely forgot about Zeb and the thread! Nice callback and keeping with the continuity. And the ending does NOT leave me relaxed about it...

Overall, I liked it. Nice and light mission, well 'light' for a pair of experiences abomination killers. Yep, definitely enjoyed it.

It's been a while since I've read a mission, but I decided to read this one (after seeing it was only - 'only'! - 16 pages). No thoughts; I'm barely awake enough to have taken it in. Good stuff.

hS

Running thoughts:
- Ok, this is starting with a dream sequence. Is that going to be significant? Of course it is.
- Elanor still getting used to the console makes sense
- Transitioning from going to the Nursery to "in the fic" seemed a bit abrupt. It felt like I was missing a scene there.
- Heh. The CAD is in danger of exploding right at the start. That must be a bad fic.
- Zeb/Jacques confirmed? Fuzzy gay blue upbeat Pokemon
- Ok, the fic is bad and makes no sense, the agents snark at it, I get a sense of what's going on without having to read the whole darn thing, as expected
- Right. I'd completely forgotten about the thing with the thread. I like the callback here because it keeps the character arc going.
- I hope Zeb doesn't get too existential-crisisy about that thread. It sort of looks like he's headed that way for a moment there.
- I'm liking the several instances of "I'm glad that wasn't taken literally." It means we can get the literal interpretation without having it actually happen, which would be pretty dark for a bunch of these.
- 'Misrepresenting mental health issues' definitely has a place on the list
- One of the Fates looking at the agents and rolling their eyes is a nice touch
- Ok, that moment of vague sadness seems to be extended. passes Zeb some Poffins
- Ave, why'd you volunteer to field test something?
- I like the thing with the betting pool. That was funny.
- Awwww, the sunset thing is cute
- And I expect an Elanor vacation interlude several years from now
- “You’d think we’d be better at not letting this keep ****ing happening to us" was a good joke at your own spin-off's expense
- I like the effects of mixing the books and the movies
- Near-unison "charge" makes makes sense as a reaction to the minotaur thing
- The lighthouse was a neat bit of interpretation
- The Sue and Percy being in the same space is a nice complication. Pulling them apart makes sense as a resolution.
- That ending ... Ave is going to pay for that line later, isn't she?

General thoughts:
This was a very mision-y mission. It followed the fic rather closely and mainly snarked at it, but it had enough inter-agent interaction to make it not be a slog through the fic or a MST or anything, even though it might've been somewhere near-ish that line.

I like that, despite being a rather typical mission, it didn't feel particularly typical or stare.

The self-reference, including making jokes about your own typical scenes and the whole thing with the thread, is nice. It makes it feel like the story fits into a longer arc.

So, overall, one minor complaint, but it was pretty good otherwise.

- Tomash