Subject: Just for the sake of an alternate perspective . . .
Author:
Posted on: 2017-12-18 12:59:00 UTC
I’ve been waffling about even making this post, mainly because I worry it’s going to turn into me whining about how little free time I have any more. I don’t want it to turn into that, but it’s also unavoidably related to my comparative usage of the Board and the Discord chatroom.
Let me get the doubly embarrassing part out of the way. Some folks here already know this first bit, but the zoo I work at is privately owned, and the owner is a complete cheapskate whose only concern is turning a profit every year. He intentionally keeps each zookeeper team down to the bare minimum number of staff needed to care for their area, to ensure that he’s not wasting money on paychecks, and also to avoid the Arizona law that requires a business to give its workers insurance once it reaches a certain number of full-time employees. Secondly, I’m a naturally slow person—I don’t mean intelligence, but actual physical slowness—so I need to go into work about two hours early each work shift to make sure I get everything done. Between the extra time I spend at work, getting a full night’s sleep every night, and the time I have to spend on shaving, lunch packing, dish washing, laundry, etc, I have very little free time to actually spend on the PPC any more. I’m trying to keep pushing forward (an interlude in the beta stage, a fanmix planned with no cover art yet, some filks on my mind, occasional bursts of archival), but if I’m being honest with myself, I am basically more job than person right now.
The PPC Board is still my home page, as it has been since 2008. But the limits on my time before and after work (if I even turn the computer on after work; sometimes I just pack lunch, eat and go to bed) have turned every new thread posted into a potential time sink that I can’t always afford to engage. If I want to thoroughly read through every post, consider my thoughts, type up a response, double-check it before posting—just kidding, the Leave-For-Work alarm went off before I even started typing, and if I’ve been staring at the computer screen that whole time lost in thought, that means I didn’t get the dishes done, which will now have to be washed tonight, cutting into my sleep time. And, I’m probably not ready to walk right out the door when the alarm goes off, which is going to cost me a small but critical chunk of that early work time, and maybe make me miss some or all of lunch break if I haven’t finished morning animal feedings by then. What I’m trying to say is that my whole work day is so regimented, that adding participation in a Board thread to my already stretched mental to-do list can be a pretty morale-destroying prospect right at the outset of a day. (I’m already upset at myself for drafting this when I still have dinner dishes to wash, and I need to be in bed in thirty-five minutes (down to eighteen as I proofread).) And yes, I could just hold off until the weekend, but then all the interesting Board threads of the week that I wanted to participate in would pretty much eat the entire weekend, and then I would never have time for my own PPC writing, PPC archival, PPC wiki editing, or CD cover design. (I’m allowed one non-PPC hobby, right?)
The chatroom is nice for me because I can have it open while I scarf food without any real sense of obligation to join in. Any time a fandom I don’t know is under discussion, or, you know, just cute animal pictures or memes are being posted, I can simply not join in. It doesn’t feel like an obligation to have long, well thought-out and proof-read responses, I can just talk like regular spoken dialogue when I feel like I have something to add.
I know all of these issues I’m having are entirely on my end, and largely my fault. It’s absolutely not a community problem, nor the responsibility of the community to fix. I just wanted to speak from the place I’m at in life. I desperately want to spend more time on PPC stuff, and I wish I could spend more time participating in Board threads like I used to . . . but I literally don’t have enough hours in a week. And that’s why the Discord has become my base of PPC activity.
—doctorlit, disappointed with himself