Because it's been a while since I posted here and this sounded like fun, so why the heck not.

1) "Try Again, Twi. you can do it." said spike

"Phew' This spell's a toughie. But I feel Lucky this time." said Twilight

"You can say that again, Twilight" said Ash as Twilight turns around and sees Ash "Ash you made it" Twilight said as she nuzzle him "I never be late and spike's right try again" said Ash as twilight smiled then went back at the apple "One...Two..." her horn is glowing ready to change the apple until "Hi!" Pinkie pie pounce on her then her magic was misfire bouncing at every side and hits the bird

"Pinkie you should be careful you almost got hit" Ash said

"Ash is right Why'd you do that?" said Twilight

"Sorry 'cause hugs are funeriffic! especially when you throw one around a friend. Whatcha doin'?" said Pinkie

"Trying to turn that apple into an Orange." said Twilight

"But you kind of threw her aim off." said spike as they see a orange with wings flying pass them "Well they don't call them flying oranges for nothing" Ash said in the humor but sees the flying orange ridiculous "Ash I got your side set for you to start practicing your alicorn magic" Twilight shows Ash an strawberry "So I need to turn that strawberry to something?" said Ash

"Yes Ash you need to change it to a kiwi" said spike

"I can do that" said Ash

----------

2) "Your skin... It sprakles!" I gasped.

Violet looked down at her foream, turning her hand over and over. It was indeed true; her skin seemd to glisten like a million diamonds had been embedded into her skin. She stepped away from the ray of sunlight, her expression sullen.

"You cann't be near me, Wilbur, it's too dangerous," she said. "I could kill you. The possibility really is there. You could vanish one night, without a trace, and nobody would eer know hwere you went. The only trace of your fate would be hte blood on my fangs!"

"It's a risk I'm willng to take," I replied, my eyes taking a look of stely determination. "Violet, I... I always wanted to tell you this... You're BEAUTIFUL."

Her eyes widened. "...I am??"

"You've always been beautiful, Vi." A warm smile on my face "And being av ampire doesn't change that at all."

----------

3) Harry finished eating the man that had shot him, he could smell the others that dared come to his island. He quickly got to the odd, white object and growled. He quietly got close to the object and smelled it, yes the intruders were inside of the thing. Harry smashed his right clawed hand into the thing's side, his claws sinking into the 'skin' of the object without any resistance. He then sank his other hand into the other side of the thing and then started pulling, the object making a ripping sound before it fell off, landing with a crash to the forest floor.

His targets were staring at him with fear, yes, he was the alpha predator here! He looked over all of the humans until his eyes came across one with red hair and bright emerald green eyes, he knew her. A memory flashed in his mind, that woman was holding him in her arms and was smiling at him. Roaring in pain as the memory hurt his mind so much, like his skull was being attacked by the vicious claw of the raptors! Harry angrily roared at the woman and lunged forward, attempting to snap at her legs.

He got a man instead, Harry dropped him and as he tried to crawl away, he stepped on his legs before tearing him in half. He ate the man before he used his powers to slash the tree down, making the object roll away, he gave chase. That woman would die, somehow she had hurt him, the greatest predator of the island! The pathetic humans had run out of the safety of the object before returning to it, attempting to hide. Well, he thought, I'll make sure they don't escape.

----------

Which one is the fake? Take your pick! :D

-SS

Three uncanonical Harry Potter spawns:


1) It took all the Slytherin Prince had not to kick Potter as he looked up at him from the dust of the graveyard. "Not so cocky now are you Potter?" He said sneering.

"Not so cocky indeed." Said Vodemort. He was finally finished regenerating. "You have done well Draco." He walked over to Potter. His black cloak swirled elegantly around him. "You were the chosen one mr Potter." He said. "And now you will die." He pointed his wand at Harry and used the killing curse. "Now Draco my son it is time to begin."

"Yes father." Malfoy said. His silver eyes shone with devotion. Finally after all this time pretending to be a weakling and a coward he would finally take his place at his father's side.

Voldemort took out his wand and pressed it against his Dark Mark. "Come to me my death eaters." And they were there the graveyard. Dolahov and Snape. Malfoy and Greyback. And all the rest. "My friends it is good to see you." He said. "It is time for us to step out from the shadows."

"My lord we will do as you say." They said.

Voldemort put a firm white hand on Malfoy's shoulder. "And my son shall lead you."

The Prince smirked. He was going to make them pay. Granger, Weasley and everyone who had mocked him would all pay.


2) A beautiful baby girl was born to two loving parents within the Snape family: Severus and Jaquiline. Both were of pureblooded origins, making the little girl pureblooded as well.

With curly black hair, deep blue eyes, and pale skin, her parents thought her perfect. Her godparents thought the same, as did her best friend (once he was old enough to understand, that is). Everyone who met her was simply enchanted, though she had no control over this.

Betrothal contracts were begged of Severus Snape, but he refused. If his daughter was to marry, it would be for love- as long as her suitor was pure blooded.

Now, the Snape family (which is one of the oldest when it comes to being pureblood) was also of mythical descent; that is to say, of sirenic descent. The song and beauty of the sirens ran through their veins. Their song was enchanting and caught attention of all. Their voice was a power of theirs, but it was not the most important. What was the most important, you ask? One word.

Love.


3) Harry's jaw dropped at the sight of her. She looked Harry's age and had long flaming red hair, matted with blood and water and hazel eyes filled with tears. Her clothes were wet and torn and covered in dirt from the storm, and her face was stained with water droplets, blood, and dirt. Needless to say, she did look like Lily Potter. Except for her eyes. Her eyes were the exact same color as James Potter. Wait...no...her eyes changed. They went from hazel to green, back to hazel.

Professor McGonagall moved Harry's hand to look at his scar while Professor Snape took the Lily Potter look-alike's wrist. "Bloody hell." Snape muttered. Everyone crowded around to look at her wrist. It was the same lightning shaped scar that Harry had on his forehead.

"What's your name dear?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"Ph-Phoenix." She said softly.

"Your full name, please." Professor Dumbledore stated kindly.

She took a deep breath, "Phoenix Minerva Potter."


Which one's the fake? (Trick question; they all are! {= D )

~Neshomeh

So guess what fandom I'm doing?

Also, because I'm an especial jerk, below are two real badfic excerpts, one made up by me, and one passage from Stephen King's actual It novel. Make your guess!
-----
1. He stared at you for a moment, smile fading.

“What? I thought we were having fun?”

“You made me fall! My [butt] is wet now! I told you to be gentle if we did this.”

Pennywise frowned then, extending a hand to you which you accepted. He pulled you to your feet. He brushed your wild hair out of your face, cupping your cheeks with one gigantic hand.
-----
2. He felt as if someone had whopped all the breath out of him . . . and then he heard that sound again, that sound that was half pressure on the skin and eardrums, that keen homicidal whispering rush—Swiipppp! He rolled off the bench onto the gravel, thinking So this is what they mean by déja-vu, now you know, you'll never have to ask anybody again—

He hit on his shoulder and rolled, looking up at the Paul Bunyan statue—only it was no longer Paul Bunyan. The clown stood there instead, resplendent and evident, fantastic in plastic, twenty feet of Day-Glo colors, its painted face surmounting a cosmic comic ruff. Orange pompom buttons cast in plastic, each as big as a volleyball, ran down the front of the silvery suit. Instead of an axe it held a huge bunch of plastic balloons. Engraved on each were two legends: IT'S STILL ROCK AND ROLL TO ME and RICHIE TOZIER'S "ALL DEAD" ROCK SHOW.

He scrambled backward, using his heels and his palms. Gravel went down the back of his pants. He heard a seam tear loose in the underarm of his Rodeo Drive sportcoat. He rolled over, gained his feet, staggered, looked back. The clown looked down at him. Its eyes rolled wetly in their sockets.

"Did I give you a scare, m'man?" it rumbled.
-----
3. It had learned, early on, that adults were more difficult to feed on.

Mind, there were no limits on what It could do. Rather than limiting, being in a space with only three dimensions essentially gave It endless room for change: manipulation, transformation, even rewritng the minds and memories of Its prey.

So while It was certainly capapble of transforming into, say, the fear of looming bills or the threat of divorce, there was something so much more visceral about the more overt fears of children.

If nothing else, the forms of childrens' fears made it easier to retain teeth.
-----
4. But The Bat didn't get far as something grabbed him from behind and threw him back into the open spot where he crashed. Batman jumped and threw several batwings at a wide angle but his enemy was nowhere to be seen.

"I/we waited so long for you, Bat-Man...Man-Bat...I/we expected more from you. You used to be such a worthy opponent.", mocked The Joker from the dark.

"Pennywise! Joker! Show yourself!", Batman shouted as he tensed up, ready for the attack.

—doctorlit is his own Loser's Club

1) "Yes, its true." I said looking away in embarrassment. "I am The Lost Olympian."

Annabeth gasped "But that's impossible! Selene disappeared over ten thousand years ago and your only sixteen! And Percy's sister!"

"I was reborn as Percy's sister" I said softly. "I needed to fulfil the Prophecy." I recited:

Daughter of Moon and Daughter of Night
Comes into the world a mortal to fight
With Sea and Wit she sails alone
Until one day she comes back home

"I didn't know about it until now" I said. "Please don't hate me."

Annabeth hugged me. "I could never hate you."

2) "There must be some mistake, my Lady would never have a child, let alone a son" snapped the girl who had been talking to Chiron.

"There is no mistake, Ms Nightshade, the symbol was Artemis claiming her child, I was informed earlier today that Percy was her son" corrected Chiron as he came over just in case she attacked him in some way.

3) My name is Penny Jackson,daughter of Poseidon. And I'm immortal.

Wanna know how? After the defeat of Kronos,the gods offered immortality to Percy,but he refused for Annabeth. Cute right? So they gave the immortality to me. It has upsides,and downsides.

The good thing is I won't die. But turns out,it's actually possible for immortals to die,and since I'm just a junior or whatever,my immortality isn't that strong. So,it's kinda like the Hunters of Artemis thing. If I don't get hurt,I'll be fine.

1) I didn't know what to think. Both Draco and Harry wanted me? But I was just an ordinary, plain girl with long, flowing black hair and silver eyes. Why was I so special that the hottest boys in school were about to start hexing each other over me?

2) "Are you going to believe me without Veritaserum?"

"We'll see. Start talking."

"Okay, well first off, I really am Harry Potter…but I'm not four years old. I'm actually seventeen. When I was one year old…"

3) I was so happy with my new job. My father wasn't as pleased as I, probably because he rather see me working at the Ministry of Magic than Hogwarts but I didn't care which one were more important. I only had space in my heart for one place and it was the school of magic. Also, Albus Dumbledore came to my house in London personally to offer the job. Who - in their right mind - would refuse such an invitation? Think I said yes with my mouth fulled of my mother's (delicious!) toasts with smoked salmon when the director asked me during brunch - he didn't seem to mind my behavior and noticed how grateful I was. Since the day he visit 'til the day I had to leave home the anxiety took over me completly. I was eating like a pig with pms, even chocolat started to taste like water after a while - and I couldn't hear that word anymore or I would vomite. When I had everything with me I was ready to go take the train. My father, one grumpy slytherin, kissed my forehead. My mother, a lovely gryffindor, hugged me until there was no more oxigen in my lungs.

1) Sigyn Faye Anasta stood outside by the park outside of London. She knew it was a matter of time before she was truly hunted for what she was. She was the last of the true immortals. Yes, there was other out there but they were all tainted by the other two immortals, vampires and werewolves. Until there was a way to cure them there was no hope with their blood. The wind blew moving her blonde hair across her face. Her blue eyes locked with the nearly full moon. Her father died when she was in Hogwarts and that was centuries ago. Her mother died in child birth with her during a total solar eclipse. But she looked like she was in her mid-twenties. A scent caught her attention she had many traits of her fellow immortals. A heightened sense of smell and sight were just a few.

2) I grabbed an arrow from my quiver and load it on to my bow, I leaped to the front while at the same time turned my body to face the beast, and simultaneously released the strings of my bow and let the arrow fly towards the giant's head. I did my best attempt of an "action movie style archery" and shoot my arrow right to his head. And guess what folks? I f***ing did it! Well, only the whole "action movie style archery" part that is, it turned out my arrow just bounced off his skin.

3) "How could you, Ruby!?" I screamed, hearing Ruby's hurtful words. The pain in my chest was unbearable, and not only because of the Beowulf's claws. I loved her. She was the only anchor I had in this unfair world. She was everything to me! And now? It was all over.
"I'm one of them now! You know it, Yang knows it, everybody else will know, too! I'm gonna become half-Grimm!"

1) Once upon a time over 20 year ago professour Lupus was sit in his house he was only teenager now and he had not been made into the wearwolf yet.

2) [...] [Luna] woke rather suddenly with that familiar fire between her perfectly smooth legs. "Oh no, not now! Silly vagina and your feelings, always taking control of me like this!" she spoke to herself softly, a giggle leaving her lips.

3) but professor, hermione whaled, i cant go outside like this! i'm nakid andd ron wont like it!

I think the first one is real because it would be the most difficult style to affect deliberately. Reads like someone whose first language is not English as well as not knowing where to draw the line between narrative and author's note.

The second one could be fake because it's a bunch of Suvian cliches without any obvious writing tics (other than an improper semicolon), easy enough to fake, but that one specific detail about the family name gives me pause. Why Bellagio? Seems like something that could have specific importance to the author—but then again, it could be something randomly pulled out of nowhere. Or both!

The third one could be fake because it reminds me of "The Girl and Her Dragon," and I can totally see Iximaz pulling that off. It's not quite the same tic, though, since there are actual sentences here, even if they are improperly run together in a single paragraph. The weird spacing around the punctuation is another thing I feel like I've seen somewhere before. It could be a deliberate recombination of different problems, or it could just be terrible writing.

Hmmm.

I'm gonna go with the second one being the fake. It just seems like the easiest to make up.

~Neshomeh