Interlude/Addendum/Forward: Tray and I talked while I was writing this out. He's leaving the 'Board, though I suppose that's all fairly obvious, but will stick around the IRC. So I don't expect him to read this; it is aimed at him and Poet merely because they were the ones involved. I would, however, like to take this opportunity to let everyone know that I am utterly done with tone patrolling. If you have a problem with the way someone here writes, unless they say something directly offensive or upsetting, keep it to yourself. "I don't like the sound of your voice" is not a valid reason to pick fights with someone in the physical world, and "I don't like the way you write" is an equally invalid reason to pick a fight here. I will also note that it's not my place to make this call, but I'm saying it anyway, because as per 'marketplace of ideas' theory, I suspect that others agree. And that is the end of my forward.

Poet, Tray, you are both stepping over the line here. I almost stepped in initially, a week or so ago, and went "Hey, I think Des was either being snarky, or mentioning a genre he dislikes," the same way Herr and others often talk about how they dislike modern genres, or some of us have jokingly discounted others' musical preferred genres. I felt like you were taking offense where none was intended, over something as broad as a genre, and was confused.

What you are doing now - both of you - is utterly and completely out of line. You repeatedly called Huinesoron condescending, Tray called him a condescending ass - and neither of you, at any point, gave a specific answer as to what he did that was condescending. And then you proceed to further attack him for an undefined offense. Come ON, folks. This is the equivalent of telling him you're offended by one of the words he used, without specifying which word, and then getting angrier and angrier when he keeps using a word that you haven't yet defined.

Let me try and get to the point.

Huinesoron has had an eloquent and specific way of talking for as long as I have known him. He has responded to every post this way, including posts made by Kaitlyn. He has responded with agreement, and disagreement, and jocular side-issues, all with the same level tone. Occasionally with smileys also. I have noticed that sometimes, when he is disagreeing or weighing in on a more complicated topic, he gets more specific in wording, and spells things out more carefully. I do the same thing - it is, I think, because when disagreeing or dealing with complicated issues, you really, really, really want to avoid miscommunication. I guess the way he does this comes off as condescending - but it's not. He's not talking down to you. I have never, ever, ever known Huinesoron to think of himself as superior, or to condescend to the people around him. I have never known Neshomeh to talk down to the people around her, or to condescend. The repeated assertions made about them, two people who I care about a great deal, have begun to make me very, very, very angry - and perhaps moreso because there is almost never any backup to this claim. I have never seen anyone give a specific example, even when they have been asked, with an air of "Please help me fix this." So here's a suggestion: stop. Stop throwing claims and accusations and issues with people around, unless you are going to dig up the evidence to support your issues.

I don't know how hS has not yet snapped and lost his mind with anger and hurt. I've seen jabs at him more in this past month or so than I've seen leveled at anyone in a long time.

And now that I've raged and Hulk'd and flailed like a rabid dog, let me back up to another thing: this is our home. It's your home, too. You, gentle reader, this is your home. I assume. Because I assume you are a PPC member.

This is my home. It is more of a home to me than the house where I was living when I joined, and I have been here longer than I was there. It is the place where I made many of my closest friends, and where I fell in love. It is one of the only places where I have consistently found companionship and safety and peace. I cannot speak for anyone else, but I believe one part or another of that sentence could be agreed upon by many of us.

We are not whole. None of us are whole. We joke about being insane, many of us, because it is easier and less painful than wailing and weeping about it. I know this goes for most of us, in one way or another. Life has scarred all of us, left us with sensitive places and jagged edges and nerves laid bare to the sun and the wind. Were we meeting in person, and able to see each other's faces, I suspect we would all know this within a few hours or days of companionship. But instead, we are able to hide behind words, and we forget that we are all wounded. Tray, I care about you. I am angry, I'm not going to deny that, but I know that you have been hurt and scarred and wounded by the life you've led. I know that the PPC is something of a haven for you. What I think you may be forgetting is that Huinesoron is also living in a painful and cruel world, and the PPC is also a haven and a home for him. The PPC is a haven and home for Neshomeh, too, and for me, and for so many of us. And we are constantly brushing up against each other's boundaries, because they are invisible and we are fragile, and so few of us even know when we've hurt each other. You can't usually tell by someone's text that they're hurt - and so we keep on shoving past that boundary.

So I ask you, all of you, to keep that in mind. Keep it in mind, I beg of you, that the person you are about to shout at has also walked through this sharp and cruel world, and they have also, for whatever reason, found a home here. Keep in mind that the person you are angry with needs a safe place and a haven as much as you. Try, please try not to assume that simply because the other person is typing calmly, they are actually calm, or worse, sneering at you. Please remember that we use humor to defuse situations we are unsure of, not as a way of putting down things we aren't taking seriously. Remember, always, that the other person has feelings and may well be in as much pain, or just as angry, as you.