Subject: Permission request
Author:
Posted on: 2019-03-15 15:41:00 UTC
Well, here I go. :) I've been around for a few months now, more or less, and I feel that my time has come to ask you guys for Permission. This is the doc with the agent bios, my planned first mission, and the two writing samples, beta-ed and tidied up.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1avB9y94ULTFtAGyZcBgNcOaW8Umzmczw-StakmGMolw/
...and this is the best news I could have gotten.
Thank you so much, Neshomeh!
And I apologize for being lazy or too hasty, deviating from my usual beta habits. Now I’m wondering whether I would have caught these errors if I had slept over it another night and then read it once more. (Note to self: three times on three different days is an absolute minimum.)
HG
Congrats!
I don't really have much to say apart from "Permission Granted!" The prompts were entertaining, the characters look good as long as they don't backslide on their progress from Suvians to good OCs, and the mechanics are in reasonably good shape. I did notice a few technical errors, which astounds me, considering who your betas were, but nobody's perfect. {= )
For the record:
1. Double-spacing between paragraphs is good and necessary everywhere, including the bios.
2. Marquis De Sod --> Marquis de Sod -- because French.
3. the PPC headquarters -- this capitalization is correct in this usage! However, note that in general, "PPC Headquarters" is the proper name of the location, and thus it is usually capitalized. I mention this only because the lowercase "headquarters" threw my eyes for a loop, since it's so rarely used that way. {= )
4. Star Trek --> Star Trek -- titles of multipart or freestanding long works are italicized. I think this is the only one that was missed, though. (Also, someone else has a Trek-style door now, eh? I wonder about the period of PPC history in which people were going around installing those and the various replicators. Must've been fun.)
5. “You’ll also note that I said, “let’s” live a little, ..." --> 'let's' -- when you have a quotation inside a quotation, the nested quote marks change from double to single (or vice versa). Personally, I think italics indicating spoken emphasis on the word would be better here, but that's a style thing. {= )
My only other comment, based on the descriptions of things the agents have seen, is this: try not to make every mission a giant squickfest. For one thing, it's not a competition (and I don't say this arbitrarily; we had that happen for a while years ago, and it got unpleasant), and for another thing, the whole point of Floaters is variety. Make sure to throw them something completely different every now and then. {= )
That said, go forth and PPC, young human!
~Neshomeh