A few days ago, GMA posted the following quote from a Fate badfic he'd found:

“I want jewelry,” Archer said decisively. He wanted to get his ears pierced and put in little ruby studs.

This is (apparently) pretty OOC for Archer from Fate, but Snowy suggested that it made perfect sense for Archer from Archer (the spy office comedy), which led to GMA writing this ficlet (that I'm sharing with permission because it's funny)

Scene: Archer and Lana are in an office late at night, having just rappelled through an open window from the roof of the building.

Archer: "Lana, I want jewelry."

Lana: "Archer, we're in the middle of a top-secret mission to stop a small army of Somalian pirates from buying chemical weapons from North Korea. Do you think there might be something more important to focus on?"

A: "No. I'm thinking ruby studs, probably cartilage, what do you think?"

L: "Archer, I'm actually working on the mission at hand. Could you do something useful for once and start searching some of these cabinets?"

A: Takes out phone, starts dialing a number "I can't, I'm doing something else right now."

L: "If it has anything to do with rubies, it can wait."

A: "Look, it's perfectly understandable that you can't stop thinking about how hot I would be with piercings, but that's not the point right now. Hello, room service?" (Conversation continues in background)

L: "Ha, found the records we were looking for! Now we just have to go to the meeting point and stop the sale. All right, Archer, let's get out of here."

A (Still on the phone): "What do you mean you don't have seafood? We're on the coast, how is that even possible? Uh huh. Yeah, thanks." Hangs up as alarm starts blaring

L: "Seriously, Archer, grab the rope and let's get the hell out of here." Grabs rope

A: "What kind of room service in a hotel on the coast doesn't even--"

L: "NOW, ARCHER!"