Subject: ok it looks pretty good
Author:
Posted on: 2019-01-25 01:47:00 UTC
The only things that I have to say are that your characters seem really unperturbed to be in this crazy situation, they could probably show more reaction and emotion, or at least Bradbury could. I also wouldn't use text from the fic in the middle of your sentences, it's a bit jarring and confusing. Also, just out of curiosity, is Bradbury a reference to Ray Bradbury?
Anyone interested can find it here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lEvEzCMtLTUwp8vzVBwH9cLaqSq_EupjTYaOzhNlDf4/edit?usp=sharing
But first, a technicality. Since everybody can follow the link and read the story, you published an unbetaed mission. We don’t do this, unless we’re quite confident that we don’t need a beta, and only few of us can get away with that.
When you ask for betas, you should not link the story, but you should give us some hints, like word worlds involved or "no canon knowledge required", so that we can determine whether we feel qualified to do the beta reading. You should then wait until volunteers tell you their e-mail address and then send them the link to the story.
HG
I’d like to take another look when you finished editing.
HG
I’d like to take another look when you finished editing.
HG (should have refreshed before posting)
When you’ve heeded my latest comments (being careful to not create new mistakes while editing), you’re ready to go public.
Instructions on posting new mission reports can be found here.
HG
But we very much prefer you to get one. More about editing the wiki here, under "Helping Out". Creating a wiki account also gives you a user page (User:YourUsername) where you may tell something about yourself, so that we can look you up if we don’t remember what you told us already.
Aaaand I forgot one selfish thing. It would be nice to credit your beta readers near the disclaimer or in an author’s note at the end of the story. Actually, you should have added this early, to have it beta read too (seeing my name misspelled in a beta credit isn’t fun, and that actually happened).
HG
Since I didn’t publish a mission yet, and thus never made the mistake of publishing an unbetaed version, I’m not sure how to proceed from here,
Since this thread is already halfway down the page, you may be justified in starting a new thread to (now officially) post your first mission. Alternatively, you may post the link to the final version in a response to your original post and hope that it still gets some attention.
If you don’t have a specific site or blog or journal where you want to publish your missions, you’ll just publish the GDoc. Before doing so, you should either set access rights to read-only for everybody but yourself, or you may "publish to the web", which will create a reformatted copy of the GDoc, removing the page breaks, so that it looks somewhat like this. (Don’t worry, your editable version will still exist, too.) Either way, the URL to the final document will be slightly different from the link in your original post. And then, there is all the wiki editing to do.
HG
It'll probably take a while for me to read the whole thing, I'm kinda pressed for time right now.
The only things that I have to say are that your characters seem really unperturbed to be in this crazy situation, they could probably show more reaction and emotion, or at least Bradbury could. I also wouldn't use text from the fic in the middle of your sentences, it's a bit jarring and confusing. Also, just out of curiosity, is Bradbury a reference to Ray Bradbury?
1)I'll explain more about Bradbury and Gibb's previous exposure to the bizarre in later works.
2)The text-in-fic thing is standard PPC formatting for showing stuff like notable misspellings.
3)Yes.