That is, unless anyone adds anything this year (there's still time!) or spots any errors. Please let me know if you do!

Link, if you need it again: http://starshadowhall.tripod.com/ppc/songbook/

I'm gonna feel really weird next year when I check and find out I actually did it already. This has happened, like, once before. ^_^;

~Neshomeh

"Song for a Promotion"
(to the tune of "Canto Para Pedir Posada")

Somewhat abridged because the original song is a bit lengthy. Bold lyrics sung by Miguel Correa, italicized lyrics sung by the Floating Hyacinth.

Oh, Floating Hyacinth,
Why have you called for me?
Am I in trouble?
What must I do, what do you need?

Trainee Correa, I've been watching
You are performing your duties well.
One thing troubles me; why did you allow
Kei Amakura to live, pray tell?

Kei and her author explained
Themselves with logic that rang true;
I could not have forgiven myself
If I had killed her--no offense to you.

None taken. In any case,
Your time has come.
Trainee, do you swear by Eru
To fight against the uncanon?

In the name of Eru,
I vow to defend
Canon from Sues and bad OCs
Until my life ends.

Agents rejoice, rejoice
Welcome your new comrade
May your partners be loyal
And you never go mad.

So an idea popped into my head, and after I managed to coax the villagers into putting down the torches and pitchforks (the unsuspecting fools), it occurred to me that it might be worth sharing.

Having Christmas music on while my family did all the work cleaning up around the place for the holidays, and drifting through the usual carolling of tintinnabulations multifarious, resting of ye merry gentlepersons, and all that jazz, the Song of Durin started playing, and it. . . wasn't too far out of place.

Not the lyrics, per se, though there's a certain gloominess that befits winter for some folks, but the sound of the (admittedly not Dwarven) Clamavi de Profundus really was right up there with the choirs for songs like "Hark the Herald Angels Sing," "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," and a few others that probably work better and my brain is deliberately holding out of reach.

The PPC is definitely the sort of place to pick up Dwarven-styled carols, and, if you have a listen here, I think you'll agree it's definitely a category that at the very least has more than a smidge of potential.

(Per the intent of the thread, though, I really do need to get to work on some Gallifreyan Christmas carols and tons of other parody-things)

Note: Morsimos was a wannabe tragic playwright whose complete lack of talent Aristophanes ridiculed in his Knights, Peace, and Frogs (and presumably in some others that we don't have).

To the tune of "One More Day" by Michael Vogel and Daniel Ingram, from The Best Gift Ever

We've got so many missions here!
There's just so much to do!
How did we get another ere
We'd slain Belle Baggins? No clue!
And now that Shelob's dined upon
The latest Gary Stu,
Tumnus has a CD player now!
Please tell me that's not true!

Set disguises, and go in!
(Beep! Go! Track! Charge! Slay! Repeat!)
Set the universe on track once again!
(Track! Charge! Slay! Again!)
Set that computerized tech alight!
Neuralyze everyone in sight!
Then we come back here,
To find that Fangorn Forest has disappeared!

So when the Ents got their home back,
What we get is so rare:
To our great delight and joy, we
Actually get time to spare!
We helped an Ewok Pyro for
Light Festival prepare.
Then we get a mission once again,
It never ends, I swear!

Now a Gimli lemon we
(Track! Charge! Ex-or-cise! Repeat!)
Have that wrecks all sane biology!
(Charge Sue! Slay! Again!)
Worse than Morsimos' satyr plays
Was this lemon we were sent to slay!
Back in the RC,
We took Bleeprin for our sanity.

All five of these eliminations
Filled sixteen hours.
We must have recuperation.
To sleeping stations!

All too soon, the console sends
Us a mission dire again.
And we've only got three hours' sleep; it never ends!
AAH!

We portal to Imladris now;
She sparkles? Yes; I fear
A Twilight vampire pays a call
To fall in love with Elrohir
Forgotten are Thuringwethil,
And Carcharoth. Oh dear;
She would join the Fellowship; we portal
Her straight into Anor's photosphere.

One more Sue! At the RC
(Beep! Go! Track! Charge! Slay! Repeat!)
We're another mission sent, and we see
(Track! Charge! Slay! Again!)
That a stalker Gary Stu, it seems,
Is messing now with Éowyn's dreams!
Be repulsed--No, she ditches Faramir!
'Tis time now for the Stu to disappear!
Charge him! Slay him! Memories erase!
Then we go back and--You do not mess with Ace!

Currently in the process of determining which of my two recordings of the song sounds better, so I can put it into Audacity with a backing track, fight the urge to autotune the heck out of myself because I hate how my voice sounds on recording, and export the file.

Further updates will come soon, as well as the lyrics if anyone's interested.

-Twistey

Based off the Catalan carol "El cant dels ocells", which you may listen to here. This is a very abridged version, on account of the original going on... basically forever.

---

All worlds now see emerge
The blue-white sparkling surge
In their dark winter night
All worlds have come to know
That storms and wind and snow
Will pass and set things right.

Great Arda, writ in song
Who suffered for so long
Rejoices and displays
The greatest power of love
That shines from up above
And lights their steps with rays

And Hogwarts now replies
With love in countless eyes
That it feels footsteps too;
In Pern love flies around
And Berk rings with the sound
Of hearts that beat anew

The mist rolls out into
Cair Paravel, and through
The lovelorn Aslan's eyes;
And Redwall Abbey's spires
Play host to new desires
That none can demonise

All worlds can see the light
Of lust - er love, pure white
As fresh undriven snow;
The canon matters not,
These guys are super hot,
So let's enjoy the show...

only sort of. I present:

"Elrond's Daughter Once Went Out"
To the tune of "Good King Wenceslas" and with apologies for failing to rhyme.


Elrond’s daughter once went out
On the feast of Stephen
Where the snow lay round about
Deep and crisp and even
Brightly shone the moon that night
Though the frost was cruel
When Legolas came in sight
Gathering winter fuel

“Hither, maid, and stand by me,
If thou know’st it telling
Yonder Elf-prince, who is he?
Where and what his dwelling?”
“Ma’am, his name is Legolas
From the realm of Mirkwood
He is son of Thranduil
King of that fair realm”

“Bring me jewels and bring me gowns
Bring my make-up hither,
Thou and I shall see him dine,
On my flawless beauty”
Maid and princess forth they went
Forth they went together
Through the house of Rivendell
To the princess’s room.

In that room the princess dressed
There to woo an Elf-prince
She wore jewels, she wore rubies
And a gown of silver
“See, my good maid, am I not
The fairest of all?
Can Legolas fail to be
Mine for eternity?”

When the door flew open and
Jay and Acy entered
Furious they charged the Sue
And then Acy stabbed her.
They threw her into the fire
Canon was restored
Jay and Acy then returned
To destroy more Sues.

But when I heard this tune, I just had to make it about the agents working overtime (then again, don't they always?):

"Merry Christmas, PPC!"
melody: Shakin' Stevens - Merry Christmas, everyone!


Sues are falling all around me
Agents slaying, having fun
It's the season for tons of awful fanfics
Merry Christmas PPC!

Time for parties and celebrations
After we're done work overtime
Time for presents, the loot from fallen targets
If the Flowers give a dime.

We're gonna have a party tonight
I'm gonna find that Sue
in the plot hole where she hides, I'll use my dynamite!

Canon's swaying, Sues are spreading
All the old songs, we love to hear
This once claims, she's Harry's long lost sister
What a nice way to spend the year

We're gonna have a party tonight
I'm gonna find that Sue
in the plot hole where she hides, I'll use my dynamite!

Sues are falling, all around me
Agents slaying, having fun
It's the season, for tons of awful fanfics
Merry Christmas PPC!
Merry Christmas PPC!



And because I'm silly, here's Guidline 4:

[CLICK]

A Chanukah song! I'm not sure this one has been filked yet? Something to check, I guess.

"DOGA Agents Light", to the tune of "Chanukiyah Li Yesh"

I have a candle here
It's been with me all year
I want to light it soon
But badfics say it's noon

DOGA agents light, we light
Our fires burn so bright
DOGA agents light, we light
Our fires burn so bright!

My flamethrower's a blast
Just like in all years past
It helps me out a lot
In all the tightest spots

DOGA agents light, etc

And when new kingdoms grow
Where none should be, I go
And burn them down so we
Can keep the canon free

DOGA agents light, etc