Subject: A rather late response
Author:
Posted on: 2019-01-02 02:30:00 UTC
I don't have too many super-detailed thoughts. That being said, I thin you did a good job of showing the contrast between Thoth and Derik's emotional states, and generally giving an insight into their characters.
Looking forward to part 2.
- Tomash
First of all, this is not the Badfic Game, so please get your minds out of the gutter right now. If you're expecting THAT kind of story, you'll be disappointed. {; P
We hope you will enjoy further canonical stories about them, though, beginning with "Lessons," Part 1 (also available on Gdocs, if you prefer that).
More to come in less time than a whole dang year, we hope!
~Neshomeh
I don't have too many super-detailed thoughts. That being said, I thin you did a good job of showing the contrast between Thoth and Derik's emotional states, and generally giving an insight into their characters.
Looking forward to part 2.
- Tomash
I enjoyed this! Thoth's analytical viewpoint really makes sense to me. I don't really know the canons or agents featured but I was still able to get a good idea of what was going on.
Wow, yeah, this kind of scene looks like it was tough to write. Very introspective and subtle; I'm not sure I even could have managed it! You guys did a good job, though. It's a little too abstract for me to really go int detail about why it feels so real, but it very definitely does have the right feeling about it. The visualization of Derik's feelings through Thoth's sensations of them was interesting, and felt appropriateyl complex and shifting. I'm a bit saddened by Derik's mental health state being a bit worse than I though up until now, but I'm glad he's a got a meditation teacher to help him through it.
One specific thing I like is the contrast between the first two scenes and the third. When we're inside Thoth's mind, his emotions and thoughts are stated plainly, showing his straightforward and calculating way of thinking. Then the last scene is largely from Tom's perspective, and we see how inscrutable and closed Thoth is to the outside observer.
—doctorlit, reading things
Thanks!
Yeah, Derik does look pretty rough here. In part it's because this is a less comedic piece, and as such it's also the first opportunity I've had (or taken) to show how I've imagined him to be between missions, without anything to distract him: volatile, even hostile, and generally difficult to be around. Also, I figure his ability to keep a lid on it has deteriorated as he's adjusted to life in the PPC and the bizarre has become mundane. At first there was culture shock, adventure, a kender, near-constant adrenaline; now, not so much. He's cultivated active hobbies to make up for it—exercise, AHAIRQ, carousing with teammates—but now Thoth is asking him to do precisely the opposite of that. And doesn't seem to get why his distant, calculated approach is not helpful...
~Neshomeh lives for overly detailed psychological analysis of characters.
...Thoth may not be quite so helpful initially. You'll see. :-P
And just remember: all good things take time and effort... and this interlude is one of those good things. ;)
These two really do bounce nicely off each other - and they're more alike than they'd be willing to agree on.
Thoth will certainly take some convincing about how alike they are. Derik, not so much, but this really didn't go like he wanted it to. There are some fairly significant differences in approach and outlook to be overcome. {= )
~Neshomeh
And by fun, I mean by Ix standards. >:) Lots of delicious angst to unpack here.
I want to give Derik so many hugs right now, but probably best that I don’t. It’s going to be interesting to see how their relationship develops moving forward!
Seems like we've got just the right amount of angst. It is the Goldilocks of angst. ^_^
I'm sure Derik is fine with hugs if you catch him at the right time. Probably not just now, but maybe a little later. He's at least not against the idea on principle, unlike some people who live in my head. {= )
~Neshomeh
Masterfully done. The way they rebound off each other is...complex yet somehow relatable. I very much look forward to seeing it from the other end in the next part.
Honestly, though, my favorite part is exploring the developing bond between the two. How it's full of emotion and tension without being cliche (not that I'd expect cliches from either of you) or overly angsty for the sake of being angsty. "Everything has a purpose...the Emperor ordains it so," and every word of this piece did exactly what it meant to do.
Side note, have we got M:tG alignments for either of them? Because Derik just screams Red to me.
After the effort we put into getting everything in the right place, it's great to hear it paid off. ^_^
MTG: Yes, we do! I guess you weren't around for this thread back in March? Seems like you would've been into it. {= )
Anyway, Derik is absolutely Red—Red/White, really, with a splash of Black if we want to go three-color.
Agent Thoth is on record as Blue/Red (like most if not all Thousand Sons), also with tertiary Black.
What about your guys? Phobos and I have the Dark Angels down as White/Black, but what do you think?
~Neshomeh
Well, I'd say the Angels are closer to Black/Blue with their focus on secrecy and their stratified knowledge and revelations as a Marine progresses further through the ranks. (Some may never reach the final layers of secrets or know the real motives behind the Hunt. Leonidas, as a Company Master, has served in the Deathwing and is thus a full member of the Inner Circle, however.) And Black as primary reflects their willingness to sacrifice their honor and even their lives as penance for the actions of their predecessors, the Fallen. Supreme Grand Master Azrael reflects in Legacy of Caliban that should their worst fears be realized and the Dark Angels' secrets are exposed, they will not fire a single shot in self-defense against the Imperium.
At the same time, there's an argument, made by Master of Sanctity Sapphon, I think, that the Chapter must survive at all costs, on the grounds that many more innocents will die without the Dark Angels to defend them. Considering the clout of the Unforgiven Chapters as a whole, he's not just bragging. And I think the High Lords and the Inquisition appear to recognize this as well, which is why they accept the Dark Angels' zealotry and outstanding battle record as an excuse for their isolationist and questionable (at times) actions.
So! Leonidas himself strikes me more, as you said, Black/White. Mostly because he hasn't let the Hunt and the secrets of the Chapter overtake his personality and ideals, such as they are. He's stoic to a fault, and does his best to keep in mind that he, too, was once mortal. He holds onto his ideals of discipline and leading by example with a deathgrip, and has taken to heart the Lion's teachings--namely, being slow to anger and quick to action.
As for Sammy, he's definitely White/Red--outgoing and animated where Leo is grim and silent. He's friendly and up for almost anything, yet difficult to truly provoke. In Gunpla battles--the closest he's been to combat of any sort as of yet--he fights defensively at first and gradually shifts to a more offensive and hotblooded stance and attitude as he gets the measure of his opponent, until he puts them on the backfoot and presses the advantage home. It doesn't always work, of course, but he'd say that's no loss since it's Gunpla battle, not war, and he learns things even when he loses.