Subject: Gonna have to disagree. Spoiler rant ahead.
Author:
Posted on: 2018-11-19 14:56:00 UTC
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Okay. Before I start really ranting, I just want to say that visually, the movie was very nice and the special effects were breathtaking.
That being said: the vast majority of the plot was just sort of pushed aside in favor of special effects.
I say plot, but it can really be boiled down to "There's a secret Lestrange and we promise this is important! Hahaha, just kidding, you wasted two hours of your life on this because it doesn't actually matter at all!"
All I can say about the ending is that Grindelwald had better be lying off his ass about Credence being a secret Dumbledore instead, because I literally facepalmed as the credits rolled.
Professor McGonagall was also a teacher. At Hogwarts. Eight years before she was born.
Dumbledore's refusal to fight Grindelwald being the result of a blood pact rather than his reluctance to duel his old friend-slash-crush was also eyeroll-worthy.
And Nagini being a human woman who doesn't pass the Sexy Lamp test ("Can you replace this character with a lamp and the plot stays the same?") was its own level of cringe. Yes, that Nagini. Voldemort's snake used to be a person. I just... I can't.
And all of that is before I get into my now intense, deep-seated and utter loathing for Queenie after her date-rape drugging Jacob into agreeing to marry her, and then it's treated like it's Jacob's fault for forcing her to do that to him. Yeah, sure, she joined Grindelwald (because... he promises to let wizards and Muggles live in peace. Hey, remember that part where she's a Legillimens? Because apparently Rowling doesn't. Even if Grindelwald was using Occlumency to shield his thoughts from her, there's no way she's missing what all of his followers are thinking and I just AUGH.) and is probably going to get a redemption arc so she and Jacob can be reunited and he can apologize to her for not wanting to marry her.
He even called it out for what it was: "When were you going to stop, Queenie? After we'd had five kids?" and she doesn't deny it. Jesus Christ almighty, if it had been a male character doing that to a female character, nobody in the theater would have been laughing like they were.
So yeah. After how good the first Fantastic Beasts movie was, this one wasn't just a disappointment. It only barely ranks above Cursed Child for its godawful characterization, disregard for canon, and lazy plot that goes nowhere.