Tiger wasn’t exactly in the best of moods, to put it mildly. This was because of his left hand, which was chalk-white and lifeless. He couldn’t move it at all, but at least it was no longer causing him pain.

So, when the butler unveiled a platter of perfectly cooked salmon, he was extremely angry.

“Salmon?” he said incredulously. “Did it have to be today?”

“And custard for dessert,” responded Holly, with her smuggest expression.

Tiger only just managed to stop himself from groaning audibly.

“Holly won,” Francis remarked mildly, “so she gets to choose the meal.”

Under his breath, Tiger muttered, “And of course she chose salmon and custard because she likes it and it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she knows I hate it…”

As if placing a potentially deadly spell on his hand, then “killing” him in a training battle, wasn’t enough, she just had to add insult to injury by ensuring that his least favourite food was served.

The other problem was that he was left-handed, so he wouldn’t be able to cut the salmon the normal way. He stared at the slice of orange fish which had just been placed on his plate and wondered how hungry he really was and whether it was worth the effort of trying to cut it up for something he didn’t even like.

That was when he came up with the idea of using magic: a basic Cutting Spell shouldn’t tax his abilities too much and would get the job done without having to try and use the wrong hand.

Carefully, he began chanting the same few words again and again, watching as the salmon was scored with lines. When he was done he felt a little tired, but at least that ordeal was over. Now all he had to do was actually eat the disgusting thing.



Was there some kind of reference in that one as well? If so, I missed it.

"Are you absolutely sure this isn't cheating?"

"Of course it's not. People from other species have got just as much right to play as anyone from World One. It's just a shame that Meyerpire in ESAS went and got herself turned into a human, to be honest, she would've been really useful to have around-"

"Yes, okay, we get it. We got it the last time you brought that up."

"I was just saying-"

"You were just repeating yourself. About twelve times."

A third speaker broke in. "Can we PLEASE focus on the task at hand, ladies? Thirty seconds until kickoff and we're in the Pacific Trials if we win this. Sound off."

"Yeah, okay. Maturin, projectile DPS." Maturin's tone let everyone know she was the first speaker, mostly on account of her exasperation and how it wasn't doing much to mask her nerves. "Going Brig."

"MoonGerbil, hitscan deeps, Zarya." Gerbil was the second speaker and had a pronounced Valley Girl accent, which seemed rather at odds with what was going on.

"DGale, offtank, D.Va." This was a fourth voice, slightly spiky and tired-sounding. "Like I'd give up the chance to pilot a giant robot mech suit thingy."

"ThingWithAllTheTeeth, flex support." This voice was, unlike the others, male. It was older, too, warm and slightly accented. "I'm picking Torb. You know I'm picking Torb-"

"AL!" DGale all but screeched.

"Kidding, kidding, I'm on Lucio, don't worry."

"Um. Is my mic too loud? Um. Hi everyone, I'm Drakie, and I'm a heal support and I'll be playing Moira today! This'll be fun!" This last voice was just... sweet. And even nervier than Maturin's.

"Drakie, your mic's fine the way it is and so are you. Right then. OzCOM. Main tank. Going Rein, because GOATS is good on attack and we can run it on control very easily. We set?"

"All systems cleared for takeoff and Caroline's running smooth as you like," ThingWithAllTheTeeth said with more than a hint of pride. "Let's do this!"

And the team barrelled out of spawn on Sanctum. Four women, one middle-aged man, and one very fluffy Flareon. What a bunch of misfits and freaks they had here.

They loved it.

---

Now, I'm pretty sure Nova follows competitive Overwatch just as much as I do, so he won't mind me mentioning that Apply, Effect, and Hydration are the monikers (or handles, if you prefer) of professional Overwatch League stars. The vignette just kinda flowed from there. Just so everyone's on board, the agents are as follows:-

Maturin: Cass Aubrey, DMS (Aubrey and Maturin are the protagonists of Patrick O'Brien's Master and Commander series, and Cass was named for the former of that pair.)

MoonGerbil: Em Perilled, DMS (Em is a weregerbil, which comes up from time to time when she shows up in my board vignettes.)

DGale: Karen Shawcross, NPC (Karen's overriding LO is Ace McShane of the Whoniverse, real name Dorothy Gale McShane.)

ThingWithAllTheTeeth: First Technician Albert Sproggins, NPC (The Thing With All The Teeth is one of the many horrible things, or possibly Things, that haunts the A/V Division courtesy of Wobbles the Clown; Al was a former member of that Division before his transfer to Non-Propaganda Communications)

Drakie: Gabrielle, DWT (Drakie is Gabrielle's nickname for Draco Malfoy, upon whom she has an inexplicable crush. You nickname your favourites, you see.)

OzCOM: Field Commander Lola McCandless, DIA (Lola is ex of XCOM: Enemy Unknown... sort of. Her homefic (again, sort of) was a mega crossover based on crossing XCOM with a bunch of Weird Things. She's from Australia, hence the name.)

And, because this drabble is a bit short, here's the strips for if/when they get into the Overwatch League Itself:



Presenting the HQ Generics!

Poorly designed in Flag Maker Junior and MS Paint!

I am Bad At Things! =]