It's bad, isn't it?

Subject: It's bad, isn't it?
Author: hermione of vulcan
Posted on: 2012-10-27 02:58:00 UTC

My sister and I found this fic before, in fact, I was its one follower for a while. We had it on our list of "Fics to Spork When/If We Get Permission". Maybe once we've done the OFAS co-write, and my sister and I get Permission and write our first mission. We planned this as our second. She's terrible. She goes after Harry, AND Icheb, AND Q Junior, she has an unnatural obsession with redvines and sslurpees, Naomi is pretty much a character replacement, and half of OFAS's Voyager minis and all of the Icheb and Borg ones come from this fic. She was typing with her eyes closed. In fact, I think I could spell better than that with my eyes closed.

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Alert! Badfic detected! by Cyba Zero on 2012-10-26 22:13:00 UTC Reply

'A beutiful American teen appears on Voyager and all of the boys on the ship falls in love. She need to go back home.'

The summary says it all (and that's before the bad spelling really hits).

Star Trek: Voyager badfic, found here:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7089561/1/THE-NEW-GIRL-on-Voyager

Purported MCF fanfic by Antigone68104 on 2012-11-03 21:20:00 UTC Reply

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6898983/1/Mystery-Case-Files-The-Fanfiction

I've only made it eight chapters in, and the fic runs for 122 chapters. But so far I'm seeing nothing connected to the Mystery Case Files games, and a ton of random animation tie-ins and bad spelling.
Found this LotR/Gundam Wing crossover by the Irish Samurai on 2012-11-02 03:21:00 UTC Reply

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5830426/1/Once

Although the closest it comes to being related to either of those continua seems to be that it has a character called Legolas, and another called Wufei (who is now magically an elf).

They're lovers, naturally, and they have a baby girl. And that's a biological daughter, not an adopted one, as apparently males elves can carry a child and give birth. That's a detail I seem to have missed from the books and the films...

There's also some nonsense with Legolas losing his memory and thinking that he's a fairy.
Nanoha badfics by firemagic on 2012-10-27 06:20:00 UTC Reply

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7369184/1/Yuuno-s-Device
What happens if Nanoha creates a device for Yuuno? Also, Yuuno has a secret past and hidden magic potential. Yuuno x Nanoha, please review. Warning: Those who do not like Yuunoha, please do not read. Thanks.

Stupid badfic. Nanoha can't make a Device, because they are advanced pieces of technology that take quite a bit of customization. Also, the device is programemd with 'Everything Raising Heart has' (despite Yuuno having no specialties with shooting/bombardment magic, aka the main point of RH)a Sword Mode (because apparently Yuuno would look cool with a sword and it's not like Devices have three modes max and he has never shown any interest in swordsmanship) and the Device can force Yuuno to set up a Barrier Jacket and will create bullets despite him not knowing shooting spells or ever ordering it to do that.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5772252/1/Finding-Love
Signum is transferred to the military by Admiral Leti's suggestion and meets her new boss, the handsome half vampire Touya Kohakuyuki. They usually fight and the sort but Signum meets with feelings she never thought she had. updated weekly.

Signum, a knight who has said that the only thing she's good at is getting close to an enemy and killing them, is turned into an aide for a guy she's never met who's a vampire (technically, they exist in the canon Nanoha is a spin-off of [Nanoha has one for a sister-in-law] but it's never been said that they exist in MGLN canon). The vampire is also somehow an Ancient Belkan-style knight who is apparently on the Wolken's level, and most of the time the other girls at the TSAB are oh-so-judgemental because omg vampire he wants to suck our blood and we are complete idiots for expecting this, but at Valentine's Day he's suddenly irrestistable. Oh, and there are werewolves. On a planet that is not Earth. There's probably more to criticize but I'm tired.

-Looks at the nearest wall- by desdendelle on 2012-10-27 15:57:00 UTC Reply

I'd Claim one of those, but a) we're still not done with the co-write (though we're nearly so), b) I already have something for my next mission (this Script!badfic Artemis Fowl x MGLN crossover Firemagic found), and c) I've jack squat free time thanks to being in Basic Training.

Wait, somebody seriously did that? by SpecstacularSC on 2012-10-27 18:27:00 UTC Reply

Yeah, that's life in the military for you.

Wait, I beg your pardon? Artemis Fowl and the Nanohaverse, script format?

Oh, hell no.

Oh, for the love of goodnessness... by SpecstacularSC on 2012-10-27 08:09:00 UTC Reply

You know, since reading Sergio's MST and mission, and learning some of the hard-and-dirty facts from you, I've actually grown somewhat interested in the Nanohaverse.

Not necessarily enough to go hunting down the whole story for my benefit, but enough as is to know when Mr. What and Madam The Hell have collided in an unfortunate manner.

These badfics? Yeah, they went there.

So wishing that I was able to read the wiki and figure out how Permission works, but my phone hates me and I has no computer.

Well, to Sum it Up... by desdendelle on 2012-10-27 16:07:00 UTC Reply

You need the following things in a Permission request (which you post here in the Board; I assume you know the Constitution and TOS already):
1. Brief summaries about your Agents: the summaries should be enough to see that the Agents aren't Sues/Stus, and should contain the Department you want them to be in, but otherwise what's in there is pretty much up to you.
2. A link to the badfic you intend to spork in your first mission.
3. A writing sample. Before you ask: yes, you can (and are encouraged to) use a Beta's services. I had three Betas for my own piece.

Well cr[WOOHOO!]. by SpecstacularSC on 2012-10-27 18:14:00 UTC Reply

So, pretty much, I have to wait for the conditions of my internet-using capabilities to not be "Verizon dun blocked da whole Webz"?

Because I can only read fanfics on fanfiction.net - it's literally the only site for fanfiction that I know, unless I plug around good and hard on deviantart for a good fic to spork.

It's bad, isn't it? by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-27 02:58:00 UTC Reply

My sister and I found this fic before, in fact, I was its one follower for a while. We had it on our list of "Fics to Spork When/If We Get Permission". Maybe once we've done the OFAS co-write, and my sister and I get Permission and write our first mission. We planned this as our second. She's terrible. She goes after Harry, AND Icheb, AND Q Junior, she has an unnatural obsession with redvines and sslurpees, Naomi is pretty much a character replacement, and half of OFAS's Voyager minis and all of the Icheb and Borg ones come from this fic. She was typing with her eyes closed. In fact, I think I could spell better than that with my eyes closed.

I'd say. by Cyba Zero on 2012-10-27 11:26:00 UTC Reply

Some words I can understand the odd misspellings of (like assimilate or Icheb, because they are slightly tricky), but there are others for which there is no excuse. Seven of Nine (or even 7 of 9), spelt as 7 of 8 or 8 of 9? That's a totally different designation! And the amount of Suethors misspelling Borg - it's four letters, spelt as said, for crying out loud! I wonder if a 'bog cube' is something like the portable swamps in Harry Potter? The 'nanna probes' were just plain amusing, and never mind the 'turno lifet'. No wonder you started an OFU; you have enough minis to staff one just from this single fic.

Would you like me to put it on the Claimed Badfic list under your name (and Apricot's), with a note saying 'pending permission'? Regardless, I'll leave it available for you. When/if you do spork it, I eagerly await the result. :)

I'll make sure not to tell my agents this fic exists, because they will go crazy. Especially Agent Cyba. In fact, best not to let Sigma or Phi know, either.

Thanks! by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-27 19:07:00 UTC Reply

Sure, we'll claim it. Since we were thinking of asking for Permission around the New Year, and this will be our second mission, it'll be a while until it officially gets sporked. But the first one's fairly short, and I might start writing before I get Permission (just not posting it yet, of course).

There... by Cyba Zero on 2012-10-28 11:09:00 UTC Reply

...all noted on the Claimed Badfic list for you. Enjoy sporking it!

That's why I think it's a troll. by Neshomeh on 2012-10-27 16:43:00 UTC Reply

No one screws up "7 of 9" unless they're doing it on purpose. Also, the sheer variety of the misspellings. If someone legitimately doesn't know how to spell something, I think they tend to take a guess and stick to it. The kinds of typos people make tend to be similar, too—shifting your finger(s) one key right or left, or dropping/adding letters in unfamiliar configurations if muscle memory takes over and you switch to something you type more frequently, etc.—and this is all over the map.

Not to say that it shouldn't be sporked anyway if you can get a good story out of it, but it's wise not to treat trolls the same as real writers—that only encourages them.

~Neshomeh

I see your points, butÂ… by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-27 18:47:00 UTC Reply

…I'm inclined to think that this is real. See, when I first found this, I did a little background checking on the author. First of all, she has a My Immortal-esque Draco/OC fic. A troll chooses what will get the most reactions out of people, and with Harry Potter getting lots of reactions, why would you do Star Trek: Voyager? It's only well known among Trekkies. Secondly, I clicked on said fic to see how bad it was, and the first chapter was something to the effect of "I'm taking this down because no one likes it" (although with worse spelling and a lot of !!!1!!!1) Trolls don't take their fics down, they would leave it up so more people could see it.
Besides, she did say something about having a "lerning dinstability", which could explain some of the horrendous spelling.

We found it too! by Apricot on 2012-10-27 02:51:00 UTC Reply

Oh, you found Shaundrah. We already made up a charge list if we were ever going to spork it. It's one of my favorite badfics! Isn't it hilarious? We had a discussion on how to say the title. We decided you should put an emphasis on "THE NEW GIRL."
Troll in the dungeons! by Neshomeh on 2012-10-27 02:45:00 UTC Reply

Well, that's my impression, anyway. The typing reminds me of the PPC Badfic Game. I don't think anyone seriously types like that.

"Chapter 6 7 of 8s revenge!" That's gotta be deliberate, right?

Oh, and chapter four was supposedly spell-checked by her piano teacher. I have my doubts. >.>

~Neshomeh

We can only hope... by KittyNoodles on 2012-10-27 07:53:00 UTC Reply

If it's not a troll, is anyone else up for weeping for humanity with me? :'D

*Hands KittyNoodles some Bleepolate and weeps.* (nm) by Cyba Zero on 2012-10-27 11:27:00 UTC Reply

/weeps and nibbles on Bleepolate. by KittyNoodles on 2012-10-28 02:09:00 UTC Reply

Aw, you remembered (or guessed) that I like Bleepolate! /huggles

It happens to be my preference, too! *Huggles back.* (nm) by Cyba Zero on 2012-10-28 23:45:00 UTC Reply

Stealing this space to report Sherlock Bad Slash by Lily Winterwood on 2012-10-27 00:15:00 UTC Reply

Violated WARNING: NSFW, NON-CON
Summary: John has been kidnapped again, but this time it is a more personal attack. Can he hide it from Sherlock?

(spoilers: no, he can't.) Basically John gets mysteriously raped - twice - by Mycroft, because Mycroft is jealous of his relationship with Sherlock, and Sherlock after discovering this disowns Mycroft as a brother and suggests they kill him and I am just really, really confused.
Mostly because I feel like in this case, Mycroft is acting severely out of character.

... by Durppie on 2012-10-30 21:25:00 UTC Reply

I barely know anything about Sherlock Holmes, and...

My dear goodness.

Egah... by KittyNoodles on 2012-10-26 22:30:00 UTC Reply

I'm not a trekkie and I'm still having soul pains with this one. Owie...