Subject: "As interesting as that was..."
Author:
Posted on: 2015-04-26 22:07:00 UTC
"... I have no idea what any of that meant. And now I think about it, nothing here makes sense at all!"
He looked down a hallway.
"Oh look, someone with a flamethrower. Who's 'Mr. Rogers?'"
((Gee... no way I'm trying to introduce agents before asking for permission.))
At the same time as the discombobulated citrus-colored sauropod was discovered in the hallway, an alternate universe had spontaneously exploded. Of course, no one cared the less about that.
A barrel, meanwhile, rolls down into the Cafeteria.
((I don't mean to discourage you or anything but... what was the point of this post? A forgotten universe explodes and a barrel rolls into the Cafeteria. This is completely orthogonal to the action down below. The PPC does base itself in some surrealistic humour but it's not about having complete randomness happen 24/7.))
((RPs, unless noted otherwise, are not canon, and therefore people without Permission can participate in them. In fact, this is a good method to see how prospective agents interact.))
((Good!))
"Which one?"
Fire Flash discreetly waved a hoof in the Yoshi's direction. "The new kid over there looks like he was dumped in Canterlot's back alleys without a map."
"I see. Shall we? asked her protoss partner.
"You read my mind."
"I am a psychic after all."
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."
The DIA duo approached the Yoshi. "Hey there," said Fire Flash. "Can we help you with anything?"
Where am I? And why am I being talked to by a horse?
He was certain that he heard another voice-- not the Yoshi's-- echo though the halls. He shrugged and turned back to the dinosaur agent. "You are new here, correct? No need to worry. You're in the Headquarters of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum."
"And I'm an Earth pony, thank you very much," huffed Fire Flash, shifting under her plate armour. "Jeez, the amount of respect I get in this place..."
But yeah, I guess I'm new here? What's the Protectors of the Plot Con... continum?
The clop-clop-clop of delicate hooves could be heard before a light purple Andalite rounded the corner. Her stalk-eyes swung forward so she could study the orange dinosaur with all four eyes. She reached into her bag and pulled out a tabled, long fingers tapping at the screen.
"What's that?"
((Did you mean to not have a subject line?))
((It looks like putting the subject line in carrots erases it? It was supposed to be ))
The Andalite's nostril slots flared.
((I confess myself to be very, very curious.))
((~DF))
((Oh, that's one of those joke things, isn't it?))
((-reassuring reply.))
((Or did you think I was joking? Honest curiosity here, unfortunately, though it comes with a joking tone. D'you know what she meant by carrots?))
((She meant the angular (chevron) brackets - putting stuff in between them, like Animorphs-verse Thought-speak should be stylised, causes the Board to treat whatever's inside as code and not show it.))
((BTW, yes, I thought you were joking.))
-day.))
((I suppose I was being a little jokey, but only to a certain degree. I was definitely intending lightheartedness in my reply to you, though. Thanks for clarifying, and sorry if I came off sounding rude...))
((~DF))
"I- I mean who is that!" the Yoshi managed to squeak out.
((Let's try this again. Argh, using brackets this time instead. What she originally said last time was [Another hapless recruit? How delightful.] ))
The Andalite's nostrils flared. [Careful, Yoshi. You insult me in your ignorance. I am an Andalite, the most noble race in the galaxy. My name is Farilan-Haothil-Esthine, and you would do well to tell me yours.]
"I do know that's a stupid name, but we have... weird naming conventions."
Farilan's fingers were flying over her tablet; her main eyes were fixated on the screen, while one stalk eye focused on Nine and the other on the rest of the agents. [A less-than superior naming convention for a less-than-superior species. Why am I not surprised? Tell me,] she said suddenly, [How long have you been in Headquarters?]
"Just half an hour I think..."
Farilan's stalk eyes swung around to both focus on Nine. [In that case, your ignorance is forgivable, if not excusable.] She slid her tablet back I to her bag. [Since you are still green behind the eye stalks, so to speak, I shall have to take you to the Marquis de Sod. Unless anyone here has any objections?] she added sharply, as though daring someone to argue with her.
((Whee but this is fun!))
"Protocol, Agent uh... Farilan. DIA has got to accompany new recruits to Personnel so we're coming along with you."
As the yellow Earth pony and the protoss High Templar formed up behind the Yoshi, Fire Flash looked at her partner and flicked her right ear. Taldaris nodded and reached out with his psionic powers. He found his partner's consciousness nearby and began reading the thoughts on its surface.
Oh, goody. Another agent with a superiority complex, thought Fire Flash. This really is our lucky day. I've had it up to my ears with all of these stuck-up types.
"Mind your words, Fire Flash," said Taldaris telepathically, limiting his broadcast so only Fire Flash could hear. "Remember your breathing techniques. He who angers you controls you. Let it go."
...aye, skipper. Fire Flash took a few deep breaths and focused on the hallway in front of her.
((And what species is Taldaris?))
The agents (and the Yoshi) could see a curious sight: a man in black military uniform arguing with a floating ball of blue light. “No, Amris, you cannot tear them limb from limb. Nevermind the red tape; this is highly immoral!”
The man briefly glanced aside and noticed the procession coming ever closer to him. “Hello,” he said politely and saluted. “Amris, will you please move out of the way?”
The ball of light wobbled in the air but moved to the side of the corridor.
((Taldaris is a Protoss, if memory serves.))
"Good day, agents!" said Fire Flash cheerfully. "How are you?"
"En taro Adun," said Taldaris, looking at Amris. "If you don't mind me asking, what are you?" he asked the Culture drone. "I've never met anybody like you. My name is Taldaris. And you are...?"
“I am a value 2.0 Culture Drone. My (short) name is Amris.” The light became a bit transparent, allowing everybody to see that it was actually some sort of force-field covering a white, spherical being with a slightly-darker band near the top.
“Its continuum is rather obscure,” the man explained. “I am Navare, his partner. DF-ESAS.”
((Also, Yoshi, please please put a bit more effort into your posts than "Hi", OK?))
"Was it just me or were you telling him not to rip us apart? And what does DF-ESAS mean?"
"...stands for the Department of Floaters, Eclectic Subdivision of Advanced Species," said Taldaris. "They are usually called out when a high-powered Suvian needs to be taken down." Turning to Amris and Navare, he said: "Pleased to meet you, Amris. What about you, Agent Navare? Where do you come from?"
Fire Flash nudged Nine. "Protip, dude," she whispered. "Don't ever ask 'are you going to rip us apart' to an agent. Some people could see that as an actual challenge and Building Maintenance is already busy trying to clean up the aftermath of the last Suvian mini-invasion of HQ two days ago."
“Nanohaverse — “Game Theory” alternate universe, to be precise.” Navare clasped his hands behind his back. “Where might you come from, Taldaris?”
“Your innards have a lovely colour,” Amris gravely told Nine. The aura field surrounding turned red.
"More specifically, Aiur, my race's Homeworld. It's been overrun with Zerg for the past seventeen years but..." The High Templar vaguely gestured in the air with his clawed, four fingered hands. "The latest instalment of the StarCraft series might fix that pretty soon. Character alignments and plot developments have made it possible for the protoss to reclaim Aiur. At long last... nearly two decades away from home is far too long."
Fire Flash looked at Armis. "Uh, drone boy? Just wanted to say that's a little creepy. Tone it back, please?"
"... I have no idea what any of that meant. And now I think about it, nothing here makes sense at all!"
He looked down a hallway.
"Oh look, someone with a flamethrower. Who's 'Mr. Rogers?'"
Even though the Drone lacked any sort of face, the rosy glow of its aura field made its bloodthirsty ‘smile’ all too clear. “Oh, now, now,” it said in its deep voice, “I am not going to dismember our friend here. I reserve this particular bit of… fun… to the Sues and their ilk. He does, however” — Amris bobbed in the air — “look rather interesting inside.”
“I cannot say I have ever felt something similar,” Navare said, mildly. “Mid-Childa is safe and sound, thankfully.” He frowned at his partner. “Amris, did I not say something about keeping your bloodlust in check?”
"Are most people here like him?"
"And this is just ESAS. Wait 'till you see the Assassins."
"Not helping, Fire Flash."
"Well ex-cuuuuuuse me if I want to show the new guy how we actually are around here. Besides, he still didn't decide if he wanted to join. Personnel will log his arrival and whether he stays or not is his decision," said the Earth pony.
[I am sure Personnel will be able to assign Nine a job in a department best suited to him. Perhaps something like janitorial work?]
She had a little capital-t-Tirade prepared for just such an occasion, oh yes, because it was disgusting that people judged each other on appearance-- when she joined DIA she had to put up with so much dismissive remarks and jokes about her capabilities and no matter how well she and Taldaris did everything was his victory because he was the three metre tall psychic but she did half the work and no matter how much Taldaris stood up for her it never seemed to be enough to stem the tide of quips and their stupid remarks--
"Breathe," said Taldaris though private though-speech, watching his partner.
Fire Flash exhaled sharply. "Nine will chose what he wants. If he wants to join the Canon Protection Initiative, so be it; I'm sure he'll fit in no matter what department he's been put in. Ain't that right, Nine?"
((The correct pronoun is 'it'; Amris is gender- and sexless. It's a machine.))
((of He's insane, so we're getting rid of him, so i assumed t happened often.
((I have a feeling nine's gonna end up in medical.))
What could best be described a robot of some kind walked through the halls, standing at about 1.85 meters, or near about 6 feet, A large blue, for lack of a better term, eye surveyed the location, focusing on the Orange Creature.
((For the record, describing a Geth Platform seems to be eluding me more than I thought it would. For those that are familiar with Mass Effect this Geth is similar to Legion (best character in the series in my opinion), though modeled after the Geth Infiltrator Classes in Multiplayer. Also will be named Bob. It will get explained in the future at some point. Probably.))
"So, why am I being taken to see this daisy-guy? Am I in trouble for something?"
((Yay! Now everyone has their jerk!))
"Hang on to your saddle 'cause this is gonna get weird. Essentially, you're in a building that intersects multiple planes of existence at the same time. We're part of an organization that fights parasites that try to take over said planes of existence. Our superiors come from a planet or something where intelligent life was... well, the plants themselves. For example, the Marquis is a walking talking Daisy."
"So essentially, this place is completely off-the-wall-insane?"
((I've got an Andalite who's finally been given a name and I'd like to take her out for a spin.))
((A certain mage-and-Drone pair need fleshing out as well.))
((But go ahead!))
((Try to get a better feel for which of three prospective partners I will use for Cipher-7))